A friend of mine who happens to be very pregnant right now went through this very thing as part of her pregnancy.

She's poly and loves sex. She'd love to continue having lots of it, along with her various partners, right up to the delivery. She's also very much not the jealous type and would never want to limit her partners' activities unnecessarily.

So here's the rub: after taking a serious look at the risks, for the safety of the child she's had to implement a fairly rigorous safer-sex policy to protect the health of her unborn child.

Again, she's very sex-positive, very poly, and very not the jealous type.

However, she also has never had any strain of herpes. Her fertility clinic determined this using the most rigorous testing methods - you rarely see std clinics test for HSV1, so a lot of people don't even know they have it. After some research and talking with her doctor, she discovered that if she catches herpes right now and is dealing with a primary outbreak while pregnant, her child could be seriously harmed.

So right now she's using barriers for everything, including oral sex, and is not open-mouth kissing anyone, including the father of her child.

This way she can continue to enjoy her partners without worrying about what they might be bringing home to her and her baby. Or having to act like a Nazi information retrieval agent. Or asking them to stop open-mouth kissing other folks, or using barriers for oral sex. And she just can't leave any room for errors in judgement, lax reporting, or plain old lying right now. This plan seems to be working for her!

being pregnant i have found my libido somewhat lacking...i feel a sense of deep closeness physically emotionally and mentally with the soon-to-be-father of this little budding one. i am not sure i would classify my experience as monogamous at this time, but exclusive yes--and very non-lusty for whatever reason. i do not and have not and do not anticipate feeling fearful of my partner seeking out others during this time.

i am, however decidedly disinterested in roving while pregnant.

my 2 cents

I was strangely protective of my body when pregnant. We experimented a little, but I was highly disinterested in penetrative sex with anyone but him. It felt like some primitive survival type instinct to protect myself and my little babies. I'd always wondered how common it was (or wasn't) for people with more fluid ideas about relationships, so I'm really interested in what others have to say on the topic.

Okay, I'll say it. It's probably hormonal.

Many species adapt a more monogamous (as far as keeping company) life during pregnancy and for a while after delivery, even ones that are not, by nature, monogamous. The male of the species often goes through the same thing, and as I man I certainly feel the pull, though human nature seems to have all but stamped that out.

As I always say, go with the flow, do what you feel, not what you *are*.

And all will be well.

Namaste :)

I think your feelings are totally natural and I strongly believe that your man should honor them... if you honestly articulate to him the way you feel.

Becoming a mother is huge. So is becoming a father... Although we guys don't have to take on the personal physical change we do have to grow spiritually ans responsibly. Honoring the mother sis key to success.

At the same time, while it's completely normal for pregnant and postpartum mothers to feel less of a sex drive, this is simply not the case with us gents. So there is a balance that needs to be found. I would use the word "honored" here. Both partners need to go the extra distance... Together you are making another. It' the real deal.