Jealousy and Curiosity

not to the extent that i did once my husband starting having intimate relationships with other women! :)
that experience was brand new.

voice in my head: "why does my tummy hurt?"
"oh, that's jealousy"
"ahhh...i guess i better talk with my hubby about this."

not as easy as it sounds...but one thing that helps is to not attach any meaning to those feelings of jealousy.
just because i feel jealous doesn't mean my hubby loves or wants me less.
sometimes it's hard for me to remember that.
so my husband made me a little cheat sheet to keep in my pocket.
it's a love note to me from him.
any time i start feel that jealousy creeping in i pull it out and look at it. :)
works wonders!

Michelle-
no, you're wonderful.

i'm glad we connected.
let's do it again: "oh man well if I am not something special then I will never trully be loved and no one will see the beauty that is in me"

you still did not define what it is 2 be "special"- i point this out because i bet that you're definition of it either changes or it is something so grand that there is no way u can achieve it- in short- you're definition of "special" is something that u could never fulfill (and you made it that way) so, u r doomed 2 always have the fear that "I will never trully be loved and no one will see the beauty that is in me". u have created a be-life system that there is no way out of, and it will b next 2 impossible 2 release jealousy. i read a tactic in one post that mentioned carrying around a letter to remind her that... well, she is loved and "special"; which is another way of addressing the same fear.

2 things here, then i'll move on:
1) you r a goddess and create your own reality, so why create a reality in which you are not something special so you will never truly be loved and no one will see the beauty that is in you?
2) u will have 2 confront your attatchments at some point in life/ death (2 me, might as well do it now)- so, this is two-pronged- a) u will only be "truly" loved by... yourself (everyone else will love u when u do, and everyone else will only see the beauty that is in you when u do) and, b) 2 confront jealousy, u must confront your fear of loss.... 2 confront your fear of loss, you must confront attatchment. i'm not saying it's easy, but i'm not saying it's hard either. whatever u choose it 2 be-

how about a world where everyone is so comfortable and in love with self, that everyone is a potential friend/ lover/ partner/ parent/ kid/ etc.?

so, what about this? you're afraid of losing your partner, but what if you connected with another person in such a way that YOU wanted 2 leave your partner? or what if you're partner wanted 2 leave you (or maybe it's not leaving but arriving)? 1st- to say the person is leaving you, instead of he/ she resonated with someone else, fashions the construct that is underlying. what if your partner shared a profound engagement with someone else and they were a perfect match? when you love someone- do you want 2 keep them 4 yourself? or do u wish 4 them 2 truly have and experience what he/ she wishes 4 in her/ his life?

i guess what i'm saying in short is:
"Love Yourself" 4 no other reason than 2 "Love Yourself"

i don't mean it in that cheesy "you have a low self-esteem" way.... really when U kNow there's nothing like u under the sun (or above it) and that u r extremely special, then there's no worry "if someone will love you"; rather.... whom will U choose 2 love with?

otherwise- there's no "missing out" on things- where there is gain, there is loss, and where there is loss there is gain.

love and blissings,

Tasi

Thanks for starting this thread michelle!

Thank you for your input Caine. Upon further reflection, I stand corrected. Perhaps to say that we have all experienced jealousy at one time in our lives or another is more accurate.
Kudos to you for having reached a plain in your life where you have conquered this emotion. I actually am not a jealous person simply by nature. I occasionally deal with small insecurities that are easily recognized and put into perspective. I do seem to attract jealous lovers, however. Any thoughts on that?

"How does one cultivate self worth?"

A good starting point... remove all comparisons from your life. You are beautiful, smart, talented, etc., etc. simply because you are. Not by comparison to anyone or anything else. Each is an individual case. You will never gain self worth by comparing to anything else.

Like this... 2+2=4. It just is. It's not 4 because 3+3=6 (which is greater), or because 1+1=2 (which is lesser). It equals 4 just because it does. Comparisons to other equations mean nothing.

This also works with feelings of jealousy. So how someone feels or treats someone else becomes irrelevant because it's not even part of the equation of who you are, your self worth, and how others do or don't feel about you. Thus, there is no jealousy because your feelings are not based on comparisons of greater than or lesser than.