For me fluid bonding is for my primary only. I would NOT be fluid bonded with more than one person. If that person decides to be fluid bonded with others, I go back to requiring safe sex of them. If I'm not sure, it's safe sex all around. My biggest issue with polyamory and fluid bonding has been dishonesty around the issue....to the point where I've had periods of time where it was just safe sex all around, no question. STDs are very real, they're out there, they're all over poly communities, people aren't necessarily talking (one of my gay friends believes that if it doesn't kill you, you don't need to mention it, for example). I think many want to be really open and honest, but it's not happening or they are in denial themselves. (Especially with genital warts and herpes)
I've had enough STD scares even with safe sex. I've always been very happy that I was having safe sex in the end.
To me, fluid bonding means I'm willing to take a greater risk of pregnancy, which is a pretty major step. It means that I really trust them with my health and well-being. It's not something to be taken lightly.It's not something I can extend to multiple partners. Considering that I have no health insurance, a breach of trust or an STD scare can be quite expensive.

You are asking questions VERY close to home for us right now.

I/we (I have a primary partner of 36 years) believe only "family" can become fluid bonded. We are in a poly relationship with a very few other very close intimates and after a period of time and testing became bonded with them too. We are a strong and committed family.

Now comes the challenge. One of our family has started playing extensively with someone outside the immediate family and would like to become fluid bonded with that person. They have developed a strong emotional as well as sexual relationship. Thing is that person is fluid bonded with another poly family and it would mean that our family would sort of merge with the other and I don't think we are all ready for that and I don't think members of the other family are ready to become fluid bonded with me. (I'm a devote slut who plays safely)

There must be MASSIVE trust. Among the two families I'm not the only slut into anonymous sex and we ALL have partners, sex and SM, outside the families. For this to go forward everyone must trust everyone to stick to discussed and agreed upon safer sex rules when playing outside the families.

There is HUGE, massive communicating. To work this out everyone in both families will eventually come together in a heart circle.

Clearly for us, adding another fluid bonded partner for our families is NOT just notifying everyone.
It is getting everyone's agreement!
And getting 8 people to all get to the needed level of trust may be impossible.

We're not a jealous crew and it is fluid. Some of us and sooner or later all of us, develop strong relationships outside the family but so far the family has flexed to allow that person room and support and they get to take that relationship wherever it goes. We're two queer couples and an extra guy and no one wants to damage the primary relationships. Flings are great and so is puppy love but when/if that outside relationship hits the rocks (most do) the family sure feels good. As a family we would demand a someone be in much more than a fling or puppy love to even start to talk about fluid bonding!

Only if you want it too. Was bonded to my ex(whom died on me) and his girlfriend. She was bonded to another and he was considering a bonding elsewhere.
If you feel secure in your partner(s) a bond is only symbol. My view is as a gender fluid/fey individual. I hold few bonds and everyone is love to me... well not sexually. But this is my prespective.

Hello all.

It's been quite awhile since I've posted. I'm glad to see there's still such lively discussion here.

I've never quite been able to explain adequately and succinctly my views on the question of "levels." The short answer to the question would be "no," but I always feel like that leaves a lot out that would be better for any potential partner (sexual or otherwise) to know.

To me, sex is a form of communication. Period. It is neither more nor less significant, neither higher nor lower, neither more sacred nor more profane simply because it's sex. I want to keep my sexual communication based on honesty, caring, mutual respect, etc., etc. not because it is sex but because it is communication. For that reason, if I think there's any chance of a potential partner being dishonest, I wouldn't even have "safe" sex with that person (because I've found that sex based on dishonesty is never ever safe). However, if I feel that there's mutual honesty/respect/affection/caring/etc., if a sexual aspect to the relationship develops, and of course once we've come to a _mutually informed_ agreement about issues of things like birth control and safety, I don't put non-barrier sex into a higher level of any kind.

I generally don't classify relationships into levels. My decisions about what to share with whom usually come from thinking about my and others' feelings/experiences/wants/needs in an individual relationship rather than "because as a relationship of type X it should be thus..."

Peace,
--Andy