I am a single father of 2 boys and I have been involved in a fluid relationship with a woman who is married and also has 2 children.

Since the energy of the relationship was positive and there was no deception there seemed to be no adverse impact on my children. The woman's daughter seemed to dislike me and the situation but her son seemed OK with me and the relationship as did her husband. In the end I think her daughter accepted the situation and her mother never tried to influence her feeling for me from what I know. Everything was kept very open and flowed cleanly as a result. I think things are much harder on children when there is not an energy that is based on truth and positive expressions of love.

I feel that in the end it was very positive for my boys to see an open loving relationship. Their mother and I had a messy divorce and they saw me suffering in my self pity. They also got to see how a loving relationship lifted my spirits. In addition this beautiful woman showered them with love when she was around them and that blessing was appeciated by all of us. Ther was never any pretense that she would be around forever so they didn't miss her terribly when she made the choice to stop spending time around us.

IMHO it's all good as long is it is based on love and honesty. Should you son start getting very attached to any one individual that could get sticky. The child phychologist that I worked with said that is common in traditional relationships but I think there is much less risk if the relationship is fluid from the onset. As a wise woman once told me, "the more people that are loving your kids the better".

I am new to this group but not to the life style. I was married for many many many years (felt like 5000). I always had girlfriends during those years. My son always met them and knew them. Being with women was always a more fluid thing for me. I am divorced and have been dating a wonderful man. Before I got too deeply involved with him my son met him and my other guy friends. I wanted his honest opinion on them before I let any of the relationships go any further. He just happened to choose the same guy I had my heart set on. If he would have chosen someone else I would have explored the reasons and figured it out. My son is number one on the list of priorities.

Now that I am in an LTR with this wonderful guy we have moved to another step in the relationship. We agreed early on that eventually I would require a woman in my life. It is a major part of who I am. But we needed to establish ourselves as a couple first and work through all those bumps that couples go through. Well we finally got to that point and I found a wonderful woman that he and I both agreed on and that we BOTH have a relationship with.

Once we all three established some parameters we then discussed kids.. she has one and I have mine. I discussed what was going on with my son. At first he was a bit "grossed out" as he says. But he knows that this is the type of relationship that makes me complete. He met her and then met her child.

So far so good. Everyone gets along and everyone is happy. I just had to make sure it was a fit for everyone. Afterall this is not just "ALL ABOUT ME".

I think that the most important thing with raising kids is to be honest with them about who you are. Sometimes this is hard, but it is how they learn to in turn be honest with themselves and others, and learn to love themselves.

I am really interested in "what about pregnancy and post partum?" I am 7mo post partum with my first child and just now I feel myself re-opening to my open fluid view of relationships. During my pregnancy and post-partum time I felt very very very fearful of my partner being with any other woman. I always was willing to challenge myself to be okay w/ it during this time, but our expirences until lately were disasterous. I'm curious if any one else felt this overwhelming biological need to be monogamous during this highly emotional and hormonal time! - M