Fluid Relationships's topics - tribe.net

What do you do... ?

2009-10-08T18:24:33Z

Have you ever gone so far into theory that you've completely lost touch with the societal norm?

Have you ever gone so far that nothing (and I mean nothing) makes sense anymore?

Have you ever gone so far that you desperately want to get back to what most other people see, but you just can't?

Have you ever gone so far that you have no idea how to function within your surroundings?

Have you ever gone so far that things that seem normal or even acceptable to most people seem insane to you?

just a random question.

posted in Fluid Relationships - 1 reply

BF - upstate NY

2009-09-16T14:23:35Z

Anyone know how to connect with poly people within 50 miles of Hudson?

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

Seeing A Marriage Counselor is Not Admitting Defeat...It's Admitting There is Hope

2009-09-08T21:22:47Z

Many people seem to think that marriage counseling is a last resort when your marriage is crippled beyond repair. However, the wise couple will seek marriage counseling as soon as they come to the realization that their marriage is facing a problem that neither of them have the experience to solve.

Because of their abiding love for each other, they are willing to do whatever it takes to shore up the area of their marriage that was affected by erosion.

Even though both spouses know that marriage counseling is an important step, actually feeling comfortable with the counseling is a whole different story.

It's often more difficult for men to seek outside help for their relationships. They hate not being able to figure something out on their own. Men, by nature, are trained to be independent and self-sufficient. They would rather learn from doing than from discussing. Therefore, it is more difficult for men to see a therapist.

So if the idea of having a male therapist makes a big difference to him, this would be good time to give in to his request.

For men who are uncomfortable with the thought of a one-on-one session, many therapists say group therapy is a good starting point. Sitting down in a group setting--with six to ten other individuals--can address feelings of isolation and improve their interpersonal skills.

Men in our culture typically have more fear of intimacy and are uncomfortable when it comes to revealing their emotions.

By helping people share their concerns and fears, groups can ease men past these barriers to problem solving. Therapy groups with a narrow focus can be especially appealing to men.

Remember, do whatever it takes to make it as easy as possible to seek counseling.

Your efforts will be well rewarded and you will realize that your journey through counseling not only helped resolve your initial concern, but your marriage relationship has broadened and grown to newer heights.

posted in Fluid Relationships - 1 reply

Common Marriage Problems - Married With Kids

2009-09-08T14:48:10Z

Married with kids? Lost the romance in your life? Have intimate moments and uninterrupted lovemaking become a thing of the past? Do you sometimes wonder if you ever knew each other and do you just yearn for the odd candlelit dinner, special moment in front of a roaring fire or just an evening with your feet up drinking wine?

With the children around have you just forgotten what it’s like to have some good adult fun?

So often you hear stories of the great love life that once was and that has just become a distant memory after years of putting the children first. If life is beginning to get you down and you are in desperate need of some light adult relief now is the time to make an effort and get some personal and relationship time back into your life.

If you are faking sexual enjoyment or constantly saying no just because you have lost the time, energy and desire now is the time to put your marriage first and resolve one of those common marriage problems that can develop into real relationship killers.

My advice to couples that are struggling with the intimate side of their marriage is to rearrange the priorities in their life. Make time to be together, no matter how much you love your children you need time without them, time to enjoy adult company and time to be alone.

Your marriage needs to move up your list of priorities, don’t wait for spontaneity, it just isn’t going to happen, when can it when the children are around? Learn to plan time together, arrange for someone else to look after the kids, plan for all your children to be visiting friends at the same time, have a reciprocal arrangement with friends or neighbours which allows you both to have some relationship time. Look at summer camps and kids clubs and any other activities that your children will enjoy leaving you free and relaxed to enjoy each others company.

Couples with children often become concerned about the loss of intimacy, the relaxed lovemaking and romantic evenings they enjoyed earlier in their marriage. It's a common marriage problem but certainly not impossible to resolve.

Don’t just assume that once the kids have grown up you will be able to work on your marriage. I can tell you for sure it just won’t happen. Just look at the number of marriages that end in divorce once the children left home and look at the number of loveless lonely marriages that exist just for the sake of the kids.

Your children are precious and should be cherished and adored but your relationship is where it all started, where the love between you and your partner created such special lives. Don’t let the balance swing towards your children at the expense of your marriage. Your children don’t need you 24/7 they need to know that you are there if they need you. If you asked them would they really begrudge the time that you need to give to your relationship if they knew that they would have two parents rather than one!

Is not making time for each other really that good for the kids when it means you are constantly arguing, not speaking or avoiding each other because you’ve let your marriage go to the dogs? Becoming parents shouldn’t mean no romance, no love and no sex, it just means you need to learn to make time for those intimate moments that could ultimately lighten up your life and save your marriage.

For a start, make sure you make time each day for cuddle, even if it’s ten minutes after the children have gone to bed. Always kiss each other hello and goodbye, caress each other as you pass (the odd fleeting caress when the children aren’t looking is exciting and can heighten desire, it will focus your mind beyond the more mundane chores that come with parenthood). Flirt with each other, rent a romantic movie and watch it after the kids have gone to bed. Plan to be alone for the odd evening, afternoon or even a weekend.

Schedule personnel time, get your hair done, go shopping for yourself not the kids, by the odd present for your partner, do all those things that used to make you feel special.

If you feel good about yourself you will feel good about your relationship and if you feel good about your relationship you will spend more time focusing on how to get time alone and what to do when it happens. Who needs spontaneity when less time together means that every moment is that much more special……

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

question about open relationships/poly

2009-08-07T20:00:57Z

i need someone i can talk to about open relationships. a lil brief comment: i have been asking about this and i keep getting people who never even done an open relationship, tells me i just need to fuck around (which i dont), cheating, and all that other garbage i dont care to hear when it comes to relationship advice.

anyway, i am a bisexual woman and no i havent been with a woman. no, i am not bicurious. ive always liked girls since i was 10 yrs old, i do remember checking out girls secretly but didnt know what the feelings were. so, as i got older, i started checking out girls more often than boys even in high school. for the record, i am not interested in women for the sex, 3sums, or quickies. i’m interested in women to have a normal relationship, why is that such a problem for people when i tell them that?

i don’t use my sexuality as an excuse to get laid or get a bf. i met my bf in 05, i used my brain when i met him. he saw my myspace profile and asked about my sexuality even though it does say bisexual and i still told him about it anyway. he asked, i gave him answers and i never twisted anything about my sexuality just to make up a story. he has no interest in having a 3sum with me and another woman. my bf doesn’t want to be part of my relationships with women and i make that clear. i was trying to meet girls b4 i even met him, so ppl make me feel like it’s my fault for not meeting a woman much quicker! he's very supportive of my sexuality.

with most of the past advice ive gotten about this, all i got was dumb ignorant, never been there done that kind of advice. i’m not being rude, i just don’t like taking advice where ppl havent experienced something in their life. he doesn’t want to take a break while i explore my sexuality, my bf wants to do this together. also, ppl have told me that i should take a break so i can explore on my own. he trusts me a lot. we have talked about an open relationship like polyamory. we have talked about it a lot, and we still need to talk more about it.

someone told me i should speak to a therapist, i dont need to speak to a professional about this. 99% of counselors/therapists don’t even know anything about humans to begin with nor do they know anything about relationships when most of them won’t counsel people on open relationships, polyamory, or lgbt. i always get my advice from people who actually experienced something in their life and went through it.

my question is with open relationships, what am i doing wrong when it comes to finding a girl to meet? on online dating sites, i try to make my ads specific as i can, but others felt i wasn’t being upfront when i was. i dont know what else i could say and i dont like being accused of lying when it’s most ppl’s fault for not taking the time to ask me questions, it’s just more assumptions than intelligence. if anyone has any advice or suggestions, please let me know nicely! :)

posted in Fluid Relationships - 19 replies

Radical Love & Relationship Workshop

2009-08-06T02:24:37Z

Monday, August 24th at 8PM
Good Vibrations-Berkeley
2504 San Pablo Avenue (at Dwight Way)
Berkeley, CA 94702 Tel: (510) 841-8987
$25 if pre-registered, $30 for drop-ins
www.goodvibes.com

WORKSHOP DESCRIPTION:
Building on her feminist critique of love and relationships, Wendy presents the major concepts and challenges that we face trying to re-invent our relationships outside the dominant social paradigm. Radical love is the freedom to love whom you want, how you want, and as many as you want, so long a personal integrity, respect, honesty, and consent are at the core of any and all relationships. Radical love primarily focuses on love and intimacy, not sex and sexual conquest. At the heart of this work are three components: feminism, social activism, and revolution. The workshop is followed by a discussion and intended to create a non-judgmental support group.

Wendy-O Matik is the author of “Redefining Our Relationships: Guidelines for Responsible Open Relationships,” a feminist critique of love and relationships outside the status quo. As an educator and spokesperson for the polyamory community, Wendy has become a revolutionary activist of the heart. Since the release of her book, she has taught over a hundred "Radical Love & Relationship" workshops internationally, helping to reshape the future of alternative relationship models for the 21st century. As an activist for social change, Wendy is pushing the boundaries on firmly rooted notions in mainstream society on relationships, love, gender, sexual equality, and sexual politics. She is available for educational and motivational discussions on the topic of alternative relationship models and responsible non-monogamy. Visit her at http://www.wendyomatik.com

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

Great article in Newsweek Online about polyamory...

2009-07-31T01:23:55Z

...billing it as "America's Next Romantic Revolution":
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/07/newsweek-article-appears-at-least.html

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

Polyamory in the News

2009-07-24T02:26:53Z

What's the big wide world saying and hearing about us? Quite a lot.

How are the media presenting polyamory to your worried mom in Dubuque? Sometimes, in interesting and insightful ways.

If you haven't been keeping up with Polyamory in the News in the last four months
(http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/), here's some of what you missed:

** "Multi-Love: It's Complicated," headlines a newspaper in Chicago -- but, the article suggests, it can also be pretty darn nice.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/06/multi-love-its-complicated.html

** The folks who've organized Young Milwaukee Poly get themselves some excellent treatment on mainstream TV news.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/07/young-activists-show-how-its-done.html

** Another fine mainstream TV news report -- this one on Seattle's Terisa Greenan, her two partners, and her webcast sitcom series "Family."
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/07/local-familys-lifestyle-gets-national.html

** The Calvin Klein foursome billboard (they're not *quite* naked) raises nationwide ire. ABC News.com asks if this means polyamory is getting mainstreamed, and finds a good poly spokesperson to discuss the matter intelligently.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/06/calvin-klein-foursome-ad-and-its.html

** ABC News.com also looks at whether a drive for legalized poly marriage is coming down the pike: "Some See Polyamorous Marriage as the Next Civil Rights Movement."
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/06/polyamory-when-one-spouse-isnt-enough.html

** Governor Mark Sanford and his affair were touchy subjects for polys. Me, I saw a teaching opportunity and posted about it to the Polyamory Leadership Network; Loving More grabbed the ball and sent a press release to 150 media outlets; so far no takers; but keep an eye on Newsweek. Read all about it:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/07/governor-mark-sanford-affair.html

** Why a duck? Poly and bestiality on Fox News; Bill O'Reilly, Glen Beck, and others go on a mini-jihad against triads, comparing them to marrying ducks and turtles.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/05/why-duck-poly-and-bestiality-on-oreilly.html

...and Gretchen Carlson tries to roast Jenny Block, who holds her own:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/05/fox-news-pumps-triad-hysteria-jenny.html

...and don't miss the Sex with Ducks parody video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXPcBI4CJc8

** Charles Colson of Watergate fame, now a leading Christian, warns millions of evangelicals -- people *we're* never going to reach -- about loving, bonded poly groups who "walk down the street hand in hand in hand in hand." Yay!
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/05/triads-mr-and-mrs-and-mrs-or-whatever.html

** Feminist Katie Roiphe declaims on open and poly marriages in the high-fashion magazine Harper's Bazaar: "Is our idea of love perhaps too narrow, too literal, too unimaginative?... It is an act of imagination to live differently from everyone else, and maybe, in rare and magnificent moments, it works." She describes, among other setups, an early-20th-century artists' ménage on an English estate and quotes an observer of it: "a triumph of reasonableness over the conventions."
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/07/katie-roiphe-on-successful-open.html

** A TV production company holds a casting-call event in Seattle for a future poly reality show, tentatively called "Real Life Big Love." A dozen or more polyfolks show up; two report back on what happened.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/07/major-cable-network-puts-out-poly.html

** "Strong nonmonogamous relationships are much like strong monogamous relationships," writes an advice columnist for Feministing.com. "The people involved talk about their feelings, their boundaries, and where they want the relationship to go." She lays out a seven-item "checklist for nonmonogamy." Elsewhere, a different dating-advice columnist snarks at a horror date: "We were no more than two minutes into our first drink when he dropped a bomb. 'I'm Polyamorous,' he said. I coughed slightly and rolled my lychee martini around in my mouth, waiting to feel shocked or react at all, but instead I kicked into dating survival mode...."
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/06/ask-professor-foxy-am-i-nonmonogamous.html

** "Why I Hate Monogamy": OpenSalon spotlights a fiesty essay by a triumphal enthusiast for her 23-year open marriage.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/06/why-i-hate-monogamy.html

** Dan Savage on dumb therapists who don't get it, and on Tristan Taormino, who does.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/05/dan-savage-on-dumb-therapists.html

** A roundup of rather different takes on poly in the gay world (including Dan Savage again).
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/07/gay-poly-roundup.html

** "Are Bisexuals the Glue that Holds Poly Together?" With some statistics.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/04/are-bisexuals-glue-that-holds-poly.html

** An interview with Dossie Easton, co-author of *The Ethical Slut,* which is out in its second edition.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/05/interview-with-dossie-easton-ethical.html

** Poly YouTubers. With SpongeBob SquarePants.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/04/poly-youtubers.html

** Plus recent poly in the media in Mexico, Argentina, Portugal, Finland, the Netherlands, and France.

------------------

Here's the site:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com

The 10 most recent items are up front. Look in the monthly archives for more. The archives are also sorted by subject and sometimes location.

If you're on LiveJournal, here's the LJ friends feed:
http://syndicated.livejournal.com/polymedia

I've done 314 of these reports in the last four years. I hope you have as much fun browsing them as I do creating them!

Happy summer,

Alan

(Crossposted)

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

Out of Ideas and Going Down Fast

2009-07-22T19:07:56Z

*sigh* alright, here's the deal. I'm generally one of the ones giving the advice, I'd hope well. This time though, I'm at the end of my rope. I don't know what to do to deal with this situation, and if I don't ask for some help soon there's the possibility I will handle things totally wrong.

Reading my profile and such, you get the impression that my wife and I are very open people. The fact is, this is only half... well let's call it 3/4 true.

I love my girl. I love her like the Sun come down from the sky. That said, there is a growing rift starting which unless I get it checked one way or the other is gonna do us in. I'll explain.

While I've got alot of history in sex-positivity, deviant behavior in general. It has historically been almost impossible for me to maintain a sheerly vanilla monogamous relationship. I think it's important to note (not trying to be egotistical) that if I set my mind to it, I am almost razor sharp at seduction. I spent 2 years as a pleasure slave, learning everything from how to do makeup on any ethnicity in the world to bringing a woman to orgasm with nothing but the muscles vibrating in my throat. (hard to explain, harder to teach. lol) I mention it's easy, because it being easy makes the entire situation harder.

Linz, while having her own wild side in her youth was more along the lines of your typical drug-induced deviant-high-school-sex kinda thing. To her, while she indulged me more than once, that was a phase she's done with. My first hot-button here is that due to that fact it's terribly difficult to deal with the fact that she can't share in what has been my lifestyle in one way or another for a loooong long time.

I'm starting to freak out, juuuust a little. I've toned myself down as much as I could. I've suppressed everything from my very certain bisexuality to my tenancy toward the Grey area that lies somewhere between polyamoury and swinging. This has been an issue between us for quite some time. In the beginning, Linz was down for the occasional playtime with a guy/girl/both kinda thing. Still, it came up quite a bit that I'm comfortable in quite a different zone relationship wise than we're currently at.

In the past, jabs were traded, but short of that no resolution was really reached. Time goes by, I keep quiet until I'm about to explode, I try and draw her out, it gets swept under the rug, repeat.

The reason this is more complex than a simple resolve-communicate-or-leave kind of scenario is that in every way... EVERY WAY other than this we're perfectly matched. No deviant encounter has ever led me to a girl I felt as well matched with.

Still, this is my life, this is my personality. I feel resentment growing as I continue to deny this part of my personality, this part of myself.

I've tried to discuss this with people before, most notably my best friend. She commenced to freak out on me due to a year-old threesome we'd all had, and we're now no longer friends.

Just pointing out, that so far all this situation has done for me is take. It's taking my sanity bit by bit. I'm getting a shorter and shorter fuze about the subject, and it's even cost me one of the most important relationships in my life.

In the past, I would just start cheating. You can judge me all you like for that. To me, it's a matter of getting by. However, as you can probably imagine that leads to eventual discovery and disaster. I've been down this road a few times with significant others. Cheating or no, this will eventually overwhelm us.

I just don't know what to do, or to say, to anyone. I could continue the way I am and wait until it's too much and I wrap myself around someone who gets the one part of me my partner doesn't. I could put my foot down and what will likely happen is she will aquiese, at least occasionally, just for my sake, for awhile. Neither of those options are really acceptable to me, but for the life of me I can't find a third.

So I put it to you, perfect strangers. My friends have failed me. My almost macchiavellian ability to agument any relationship with it's missing parts elsewhere is just not good enough for me anymore.

I'm lost. No solution in the past will work here, and I'm fresh out of ideas. I'm frustrated to the point of rage, and feel the time coming where I will sabotage anything just to save something. If linz is part of that everything I may as well fall on my sword right now.

It's maddening, to match someone so perfectly in all but one way.

Especially when it's this.

PS: I'm cross posting this like mad, so you may see it again. I need an idea, an answer. Hope for my situation. Otherwise, I'm not exactly sure I won't become ground zero, and everyone left in my life become casualties.

posted in Fluid Relationships - 20 replies

Poly Living West conference in SF, May 29-31

2009-05-13T11:55:23Z

I've attended several of Loving More's poly conferences and can't speak highly enough of them. I've also donated to the group (a nonprofit) and hope to see it succeed.

Coming up soon is Poly Living West, being held in San Francisco May 29-31, full of interesting workshops, including by Ethical Slut co-author Dossie Easton. Prices go up after May 15th. If you can make it, I highly recommend it. More info:
http://www.mynewsletterbuilder.com/tools/view_newsletter.php?newsletter_id=1409923919

Cheers,

--Alan M., Polyamory in the News
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

F--k for peace Demonstration

2009-05-01T15:44:13Z

We are organizing a NYC F for Peace Demonstration to be webcast around the world. We are looking for volunteers and organizers to help us share this wave of light energy! All volunteers must be HIV and STD negative with documentation.

Instead of an "anti-war rally" or the "make love not war" concept, we are eliminating the W word from the conversation. Thus the idea from the start contains no suggestion of those negative ideas.

So many people die for war, why not f--k for peace?

contact: cladinblak@aol.com

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

More Polyamory in the News

2009-04-05T18:14:03Z

Polyamory keeps turning heads in the mainstream (and not-so-mainstream) media. If you haven't kept up with Polyamory in the News in the last four months (http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/), here's some of what you missed:

** On the Today Show site at MSNBC.com, a member of a happy poly quint discusses her household life and loves, finances and family meetings. 2,000 comments poured in the first day.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/02/happy-poly-quint-on-msnbccom.html

** Current TV profiles Diana Adams, sexual civil-rights lawyer and poly activist (and one of the brains behind the new Polyamory Leadership Network).
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/03/current-tv-profiles-diana-adams-poly.html

** The polyfolks behind the “Family” webcast series get profiled in the newspaper, interviewed in a video news report, and win over radio talk jocks.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/03/seattle-times-its-about-time.html
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/03/family-polyfolks-interviewed-on-radio.html

** Creating Poly Culture: a British soap, Hollywood, webcomics, and the strategic vision Cunning Minx laid out at the Poly Living Conference.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/03/creating-poly-culturea-british-soap.html

** Honorary polys of the recession. You don’t have to be romantically involved to live happily with your two husbands. But it does take poly-type attitudes, and may draw CNN to your door.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/03/honorary-polys-of-month.html

** “. . .and your NRE-besotted date nods and says ‘Oh, yes, I'm cool with that’ and smiles wonderfully at you, and you thank the Goddess that your date *gets it* -- and on both sides, DeNile flows down to the sea.” Advice on delivering the “I’m polyamorous” message.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/03/savage-love-on-poly-denial.html

** A Psychology Today columnist says we don’t exist, and we offer corrections.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/03/psychology-today-columnist-lays-egg-of.html

** A playwright explores poly themes in All My Love, running through May 10th in Chicago. With reviews.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/03/polyamory-play-opens-tonight-in-chicago.html

** “Dear Prudence: The teens hate my triad!”
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/02/dear-prudence-teens-hate-my-triad.html

** Morning shock jocks do a stinker. Remember that you can hang up on the air.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/02/morning-shock-jocks-do-stinker.html

** From Toronto, tales of queer poly life in the city.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/02/valentines-poly-gimme-more.html

** Poly permeating goth culture, and its use there as an identity-creating meme even among non-polys. . . parallel to how Christian student groups use their abstinence meme.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/01/goth-wannabe-and-christian-sexuality.html

** Dating-site advice by and for TNG (“The Next Generation”): “The more love you give away, the more you have to give.” At least for some. Understanding the options from the outset.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/03/more-love-you-give-away-more-you-have.html

** More poly awareness on campus.
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/01/poly-awareness-on-campus.html

** Poly in happy Denmark: “Love: Spend four days with a confident husband and three with a fiery lover, put three toothbrushes in the holder, and skip the bad conscience when Christmas dinner ends with a trip to somewhere else.”
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/01/danish-poly.html

** Esquire magazine, in a thoughtful essay, proposes that “Big Love” and mainstream attention to polyamory show “that Americans are desperate to believe in a happy family again — any happy family. Far from declining under this revolution in who lives with whom, the American family is resurgent, even as it splinters into kaleidoscopically shifting arrangements of varying sizes and shapes and intensities.”
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2009/01/poly-and-family-in-esquire-magazine.html

------------------

Here's the site:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/

The 10 most recent items are up front. Look in the monthly archives for more. The archives are also sorted by subject and, in some cases, location.

If you're on LiveJournal, here's an LJ friends feed:
http://syndicated.livejournal.com/polymedia

I've done 284 of these reports in the last three years. Have fun browsing!

April cheers,

Alan

(crossposted)

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

Gee Infinity

2009-04-01T19:58:59Z

While the G20 chaos goes off in London. I spent the day creating a little harmonisation.
Please, download it - enjoy it - share it.

www.sendspace.com/file/ipeeol

and if you feel inspired, visit my website www.gfc.uk.net

Your feedback is of course very, very welcome

Psi
Sunfeather

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

people get hurt

2009-04-01T16:36:14Z

so my friend entered into a deep relationship with a married man. Over years supposedly his wife was more ok with it. I held back my judgment, yet it remains.

Recently they had a celebration together.. friend and man. The wife who is in another group where I am also a part, had a party for the husband. I made a mistake when talking about not being able to go.

Now everyone is MAD> At me. I should have known to nto let the wife know that I know about this partnering.. my friend and this man are openly in groups for years to gether. The wife supposedly had her own part of the house built.. but they are mad at me. Ok I am venting.

I dotn get this stuff and here is why in one way. Personally I think they are targetting me when the reality is that there are unresolved issues about who is with whom and when.. and the marriage issue. But my insight does not matter. They are mad.

posted in Fluid Relationships - 2 replies

Lupin Lover's Day Eve Lock and Key Party

2009-01-29T20:02:45Z

Lupin Lover's Day Eve Lock and Key Party
Check out this recently posted event.
http://sanfrancisco.tribe.net/event/Lupins-Lovers-Day-Eve-Lock-and-Key-Party/san-francisco-ca/c65e95ee-cefd-4589-9389-f1937b338108

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

New to the Poly theory

2009-01-12T15:54:24Z

Hello,
I'm brand new to Tribe as well as the idea of an "open relationship" personally. My lover and I are discussing having an open relationship in the coming year and I'm wondering if there is any experienced people on here that can chat with me about it.

posted in Fluid Relationships - 19 replies

Time of choice

2008-11-15T15:48:52Z

Now more than ever we are confronted with the choice of our fast ascension into life or our slow death.
Is your Soul thriving or are you numbing to the survival struggle of existing?
The Phoenix DNA Re-newal coding delivered by infinity at the autumn equinox has us in the heat og the cauldron.
For more awareness... see www.gfc.uk.net

Much love to you all
Sunfeather

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

Love, sex and the changing landscape of infidelity

2008-10-29T12:34:49Z

http://www.ajc.com/health/content/health/stories/2008/10/28/infidelity_marriage.html

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

Dartmouth Student's Making a Poly Documentary

2008-10-26T13:37:05Z

I'm told that there's a group of Dartmouth students making a documentary about Polyamory. I have not verified this, but I have their e-mail address for those that may want to participate:

polydocumentary@yahoo.com

Drop them a line if you're willing to help. Generally rural NH is not the easiest place to find Poly people, so I'm sure they'd appreciate any help they can get.

Thanks!

posted in Fluid Relationships - 1 reply

In the bedroom, is three a crowd?

2008-10-01T21:56:45Z

A threesome can be exciting — but also disastrous for a relationship

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26059879/

posted in Fluid Relationships - 7 replies

See you at Poly Pride Weekend in NYC, Oct. 3-5...

2008-09-26T15:38:47Z

...get the details here:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2008/09/poly-pride-day-coming-up.html

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

Burning Man 2008 Hedonic Sensuous Massage Campmates

2008-08-03T17:59:23Z

We are the organizers of the Burning Man 2008 Hedonic Sensuous Massage theme camp. Join us in offering sensuous massages to fellow "burners". No experience necessary. You only need to be a normally sensual person and willing to learn. We are a fun-loving group of amateur yet erotic men and women who seek the same to serve the community with an exceptional experience of a lifetime with the goal being their most enjoyable, happy, and sensuous massage ever. If interested, call Aloha and SoundMan at (775) 233-3608 and check out Aloha's myspace.com site "Aloha BRC Burner" at http://www.myspace.com/alohaburner for a complete description of our previous years' camps. We will be located at Gemini and 4:30

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

The demise of the lipstick lesbian

2008-06-29T16:57:19Z

http://www.villagevoice.com/nyclife/0825,triumph-of-the-lipstick-lesbians,471456,15.html/full

posted in Fluid Relationships - 1 reply

Three new poly/ open marriage books

2008-06-28T04:37:59Z

I've written reviews of the three new (and very different) polyamory and open marriage books that have just come out:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2008/06/three-new-poly-books.html

They are
*The Polyamory Handbook* by Peter J. Bensen
*Open* by Jenny Block
*Opening* Up by Tristan Taormino

Enjoy.

Alan M.

posted in Fluid Relationships - 1 reply

Jealousy and Curiosity

2008-06-04T22:43:46Z

So I feel like the concept of open relatioships, polyamory, etc. are fantastic. MY problem is that I am FAR too jealous to deal with it or get involved in anything like this. My jalousy stems from feeling like there would be nothing 'special' about me and also fear of losing my partner.
Did any of you start like this (at least with the jealousy part) or did you come to this lifestyle ready and rearing to go?
I keep thinking that this is something I want to try in the future, but I know I am not ready now. Its frustrating to want something and be the one stopping yourself from achieving it at the same time.

Also, do any of you have tips on how you became less jealous? I would love to hear your experience as well.
Thanks.

posted in Fluid Relationships - 89 replies

HONOR THE WOMEN IN YOUR POLY POD by Sasha Lessin, Ph.D.

2008-06-01T23:17:37Z

HONOR THE WOMEN IN YOUR POLY POD by Sasha Lessin, Ph.D.

Here's one of the ways we play with our group of intimate lovers. We suggest you try it with yours. PolyWannabes, create group, rehearse. Let us know how your Honor the Goddess group goes.

Give yourself an evening for each woman, or a whole day to do each
woman in your lovegroup. Then let us on this site share our results
and develop love rituals from our collective sharing.

In a beautiful, peaceful, private space, gather the women in your
poly pod.

Ask one woman to volunteer as the first focus of this pattern. Each
woman takes a turn as the group's focus.

PREPARE YOURSELF AND THE SPACE FOR WOMAN WORSHIP

Givers, clean your nails. Brush your teeth afresh. If you're male
and clean-shaven, shave again; if you've a beard, shampoo it.

Dress to please the Receiver. Find food, drink, flowers and music
she'll like. Arrange the room to delight and relax her. Create a
large, padded lovenest. Place water, towels, massage oil and
internal lubricant next to the bed. Invite her to bathe while you
disconnect phones and adjust the lighting and music.

When she returns from the bath, each of you meet her gaze. Make eye-
contact with her as you adore her together.

Each of you say, in your own words--but poetic ones,"I appreciate
this opportunity to please and replenish you.

"May we undress you and see your body?" As you do, laud her looks
aloud. Then all of you disrobe too.

DEDICATE TOUCH TO PERSONAL AND UNIVERSAL HEALING

Invite her to lie down. Touch your right palms to her heart and put
her right hand on your heart. Rest your left hands on the back of
her right and tell her to put her left on the hands you rest on her
heart. Look into her left eye.

Tell her, in your own words, "We delight in serving you. We love
relating this intimately. May our adoration heal hurts we caused
you. May our hearts unite. Come dance with us, your devotees. Dear
Shakti, dance at the Shrine of the Yoni Nadi. There, together, we
transcend our separate self-senses and join the divine dance of the
cosmos."

"What words, "ask her, "have you to consecrate the worship we offer
your Inner Aphrodite, your loving, sensual, sexual self.? *** [Give
her time to answer.]

MASSAGE MADONNA

Then say, "May we massage you?"

As she stretches out on her belly, tug her toes. Rub her soles and
the backs of each leg. Do her fingers, palms, arms. Then massage
her back and her bottom.

Help her turn over. Dance your fingers over the tops of her feet and
hands, the front of her arms and legs. Brush her labia and nipples
as you glide your hands over her torso. Massage her face and head.

Stroke and knead the muscles inside the leg; Kneed the inside of her
legs, where they insert into her pelvis. Press your fingers deep
into the muscles above her pubic bone.

GET CONSENT TO TOUCH HER TEMPLE

Ask her to designate one of you to touch her Love Temple.

CONNECT ALL HER CHAKRAS WITH SACRED SECTOR ENERGY

All present lay hands on her. The person she chooses, her Giver,
rests their left hand on her HEART.

Giver, hold your right hand over her yoni. Imagine you send her a
beam of love from your eyes into her left eye. Breathe together
three times; then settle your hand on her mons.

Tell her, "I love you. Feel our hearts connect and energy vibrate
between us.

"I send you love as I breathe out; breathe it in, inhale my love."
The rest of the group breathes with the Giver and Receiver. Exhale,
then draw your navel back toward your spine and up. Tighten your
pubococcygeal and anal sphincter muscles.

Imagine, Giver, you send energy up your spine from your tailbone,
through your heart and out your right hand into her yoni. When you
inhale, feel the energy you have sent her move through her heart into
your left hand. Take at least three breaths where you send this
circuit of energy.

Keep your right hand on her yoni, your eyes on hers. Move your left
hand to her CROWN. Tell her you invite the Goddess of Love to enter
her crown and move through her central channel to her yoni-shrine.
Breathe together three times.

Move your left hand to her BROW, THROAT, BELLY and BASE chakras. For
each, take three breaths. Eye-gaze and imagine you connect with her
brow, throat, heart (again), then belly, perineal and sexual
chakras. Conclude these chakra meditations (mudras) with your left
hand again on her heart.

STROKE HER SACRED SECTOR

Tell your Receiver, "Relax on your back, Sweetheart. Breathe deeply.

"Let each of us gaze into your eyes.

If you like, I'll massage, then kiss your genital drapes and the
valence over your pearl.

If she says consents, say, "Make sounds and direct us with words;
give us feedback while I lick and stroke."

Stroke her outer labia. Roll her clitoral hood around the
clitoral crown; but don't stimulate the crown yet. When her outer
vaginal lips swell, revealing the inner lips, trace circles, spirals,
horizonals, verticals, diagonals, and figure-eights on them with your
fingers. Alternate long, short, inventive, sensitive and playful
strokes. Tap, knead and pinch the hood and labia ten or fifteen
minutes.

When the inner labia also become quite swollen with blood,
say, "Would you like me to polish your pearl?" (pearl = clitoral
crown). If yes, honor her yoni with your mouth and tongue. Blow on
her genitals. Plant baby kisses on her clitoris. Twill your tongue
round the crown and lick her labia. Lap into her yoni as you
continue gazing into her eyes. Salivate generously; lubricate the
orifice.

After twenty to thirty minutes honoring her yoni, say, "I'd like to
enter your sacred cave with this (right ring) finger." If she
agrees, lick your finger so it's quite moist (or use an internal
lubricant like Probe or neem oil). Place the tip of your ring finger
pad just inside her vaginal opening. Say, "Pull my finger in."

When you feel her vaginal muscles pulsing on your finger, let her
pull your finger into her cave. Curl your finger pad inside her yoni
toward her navel then back toward her inner legs, so it rests on her
sacred sector. Breathe together and keep your hand still for ten
deep breaths while you imagine that your finger reaches inside her to
her heart.

Begin a light "come here" motion with your ring finger; let the pad
of your finger caress the tissue that covers the sacred sector.
Trace, in thirty to forty strokes, the inner surface of the top and
upper front of her cave from cervix toward the top of her cave's
opening.

Then, for forty strokes or so, turn your wrist from side to side.
Trace a crescent over the sacred sector with your finger pad.

Sweep (turn your wrist from up to down) the left half of her cave.
Skim the front of your right ring finger from the cave roof to its
floor and outside door. Remove your right ring finger and insert
your left ring finger inside her yoni. With your left ring finger,
stroke the right half of the yoni roof.

After a few minutes, change your position to ease your back and
neck. Withdraw your left ring finger from her cave, and put your
right ring finger back in. Rub, tap, and touch all over inside her
cave. Stroke different levels of pressure, depths, speeds and
rhythms. Trace the throbbing veins and, deeper, arteries. Press to
the bone in each part of her cave.

After fifteen minutes, say, "Would you like one of us to pet you with
two fingers inside?" If she consents, curl the underside of your
right middle and ring fingers together along the roof-beam of her
yoni. Move your fingers down the transom over the door and out the
yoni, with a "come here" motion.

Then focus your fingers inside her on her sacred sector. You can
feel it through the inner vaginal wall, between the wall and the
pubic bone, above the orifice. The sector feels like a bean-sized
lump that may grow to silver-dollar size as you stroke it.

Initially, when her sector's stimulated, she may think (though she's
just emptied her bladder she needs to urinate. Let her try to do so
until no urine comes out.

Unite your fingers through her lower abdomen. Press your left hand
down on her lower belly just above the pubic bone. Feel her spot
swell between these fingers on her abdomen and those in her vagina.

If you find menstrual blood on your fingers, let her know you
treasure this intimacy. Dab some on each of your chests and thank
her.

The Receiver may enjoy all the touching. Some Receivers feel
indifferent to sacred sector massage at first. Most women, however,
savor some sacred spot stroking. Remember your Receiver's pleasure
points.

If you try this exercise, or something like it, please share on this
site what you tried and how it turned out.

Learn lots more at our POLYAMORY CONFERENCE, September 12-14
Harbin Hot Springs CA.

Workshops and presentations by
Drs. Gary Schubach, Steven Vouge, Anistas Harris, Dave Doleshal,
Harold (Haridas)Kornylak, Celeste Hirshman, and Sasha Lessin,
as well as
Janet Kira Lessin, Veronica Monet, Taber Shadburne, Gabriella
Cordover, Aisha Kassaoun, Paul Glassco, Danielle Harel, Kirsten Rose,
David Spero, Robert Allen, Amber Seitz, Carolina Fleishman, Paul
Planodon and even more tba.

www.worldpolyamoryassociation.com, worldpolyamory@aol.com 808 244-
4103

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

New Wave of Polyamory Media Coverage

2008-05-18T17:20:10Z

If you haven't been reading Polyamory in the News (http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/) in the last three months, here's some of what you missed:

** "Internet Pushes Polyamory to its Tipping Point". If this Wired Magazine writer is right, the bandwagon is starting to roll downhill ahead of us. Should we quit just pushing and run up and grab the steering wheel?

** Redbook, Glamour, and Marie Claire magazines -- the things your aunt reads at the hairdresser -- all offer remarkably positive profiles of open and polyamorous marriages in their June issues.

** Jenny Block, whose book on her poly life comes out in a couple weeks, becomes a columnist for the Huffington Post. She asks us for our topic suggestions.

** Time magazine devotes four pages to the bonobo culture wars (waged in the Wall Street Journal and alternative culture, not among the apes themselves). Yes, Time concludes, the critters really do have something big to teach us about human possibilities.

** When Tilda Swinton won an Oscar her poly relationship raised much buzz, which she handled with aplomb.

** The Tilda Swinton buzz got Polyamory Weekly podcaster Cunning Minx a nice writeup in her hometown Chicago paper. And that got her on Chicago radio, to take on a couple of dumb morning talk jocks.

** Loving More magazine is back.

** "Gleaned through work with my clients and a series of in-depth interviews," writes a New York therapist, "I offer you some examples of non-monogamous relationships, the elements that have them be workable, the challenges that come along with them, and the reasons why the people have chosen to set up their lifestyles and love-styles thus."

** Akien MacIain, in a poly-versus-mono discussion on the radio: "In the beginning there was God. And God was infinite and knew everything, except what it was to be finite. So one day God split itself up into zillions of little bits and commanded them all forget that they were one, and to go figure out what it was to be finite. And so we are all those little bits of God the infinite, learning what is to be finite." Not what the mono side expected?

** Voice of America TV, in a global news broadcast, plays it down the middle.

** Poly 101 advice for Staten Island.

** Deep in the Bible Belt, a founder of Focus On Christ Ministries denounces polyamory as depraved -- and one of our people, trained by the Jesuits, returns a Biblical reply. Save this for discussions with your Christian relatives.

** And finally, best of all: the Washington Post covered Loving More's Poly Living Conference with a long feature article. Never mind the mild snarks and cringe-makers. This is the deepest, truest-to-life article about us that I recall in the bigtime media.

------------------

Here's the site: http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/ . The 10 most recent items are up front. Look in the recent monthly archives for more. The archives are also sorted by subject and, in some cases, location.

I've done 209 of these reports in the last three years. I hope you have as much fun browsing them as I did creating them.

Cheers,

Alan M.

P.S.: If you're on LiveJournal, you can friend the LJ feed for the site:
http://syndicated.livejournal.com/polymedia

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

New to this tribe; fluid advice very much appreciated...

2008-05-06T02:49:10Z

I just found this tribe today and have read a bunch of threads...some great provocative posts here...think I'll be hanging out here for a while.

Anyway, my situation is this: I've been seeing a guy who I really like for about 2 months. From the beginning we've been "open"--he is very excited by the idea of having a "hot" girlfriend. He is sweet in many ways but obviously since it's a new relationship, there are trust issues to deal with. I've tried to be as honest and communicative as possible (as I would in any relationship), but it's daunting because he claims to have processed through the whole jealousy number, I don't know that I have, but as long as I don't feel that his extracurriculars are getting in the way of our time together, and that I'm the one he has sleepovers with, it's okay with me.

We went to a party run by some friends of mine last weekend but because there was no one there I was attracted to other than him, that hasn't really counted in his book as proof that I'm into 3somes (we're both straight although I like kissing girls; I adore MFM) and couple swapping. We're meeting a couple tonight who contacted us online (the online thing was his idea, but I've been the
writer/correspondent/screener) and I'm excited, but also feel put upon because he told me that his other girlfriends all said they were okay with the idea of his having sex with other women, but when it came down to it, they weren't. In other words, now I feel like I have to "prove" I'm cool with this, and when I feel manipulated, I can be quite the contrarian...maybe wind up not enjoying myself as much as I could.

I'm not sure what advice, exactly, I'm asking for...but I sense that my new boyfriend is much more compulsive about the non-monogamy scene, whereas I am more relaxed (well, not right now, admittedly!) and "when it happens, it happens" about it. But I've never had a romantic relationship with someone who was also a partner in various extracurricular activities. On the one hand, it's great not having to hide any of that from him--most guys hate it or think they could never take me seriously--but on the other hand, he gets so turned on that I will occasionally sleep with other guys that I wind up feeling like it's expected of me. Like he really did sound disappointed on the two occasions when I told him I hung out with a guy friend but just caught up with each other's lives over dinner.

As I said above, I can be a bit of a contrarian when I feel pushed in any particular direction, even if it's a direction I want to explore. We don't see each other more than twice a week, and I want enough alone time with this guy so we can continue to get to know each other--not just as sex bombs, but as people. I do have very intense feelings for him, but also realize that if it's only been 2 months, it's too soon to know what's going to happen. All I know is that I have zero desire to date anyone else, and he isn't seeing anyone else romantically, either. (I did raise the safe-sex issue with him--I have no intention of catching anything, and so our agreement is to only have unprotected sex with each other.)

Last weekend it hurt my feelings when he said that at the next party we go to, he wanted it to be more free-form, i.e. we split up and each find someone attractive to take into the back room, and not wait for the other. His rationale is that we're going to go home together anyway, but the whole reason I even want to go to these parties with him is so we can share adventures.

Obviously everyone has different comfort levels, but I'm just not sure I'm doing a good job communicating how I feel to him. I know if I felt more secure in his affections, I wouldn't be as anxious--but that takes time, and I don't want to rush or force any of that. Ironically, I agreed with him that it would be better to be open right out of the gate instead of waiting.

Thanks in advance for some fluid 2 cents....

posted in Fluid Relationships - 10 replies

Pomosexuality and the Death of the Label

2008-04-08T07:44:47Z

BECAUSE LABELS ARE FOR CLOTHING... NOT PEOPLE.

Pomosexuality (short for postmodern sexuality) refers to a nonorientation in which people disregard sexual labels altogether. While it is convenient to sort everyone into a handful of different groups - homosexual, bisexual, heterosexual - pomosexuality argues that not only can these words and categories not do justice to the complexity of human sexuality, but are also grand illusions socially constructed to maintain a state of separateness between people. Like most other things in life, sexual orientation and/or gender identity isn't a black and white, either/or experience for many of us. More appropriately, it is best described as a fluid and incalculably unique journey that is beyond definition. Pomosexuality literally means anything you want it to mean. It means anything goes. And it represents an end to all the confusion, oppression, fear, and restraint that comes with trying to identify with a restrictive label.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXxODfmU_iU

Join the new social network that is introducing the concept of pomosexuality to the masses, revolutionizing the way the world views sexuality and gender. wWw.POMOWORLD.com

posted in Fluid Relationships - 1 reply

David Deida

2008-03-17T04:54:30Z

Hey peeps,

I'm thinking about doing this workshop with David Deida.
Any of you done one before? What's the 411?

Details: www.DeidaEvents.com.

TT

posted in Fluid Relationships - 1 reply

Looking for an Poly Friendly community style living solution?

2008-03-10T23:09:47Z

Looking for an Earth Friendly community style living solution?

There is a Meeting of the Kindred Spirits coming up March 29th! And
we do need to see some more Positive well integrated Female Energy in
this group who can work closely with others.

http://edenvillage.net/18.htm

Small Cabins under one hundred square feet can sometimes be used
in some states until you get ready to go up to code with a real home.

That would be an 8x12 cabin with rooftop rainwater collection.

A simple and fairly inexpensive solar power system that I might
recommend for instance, might consist of 6 - SQ 160 Watt PV panels,
One MX60 Controller and 4 L-16 H Deep Cycle batteries along with a
nonda power center and a battery bank desulfator.

Forget Flourescents unless you like to eat mercury. The time is now
for the low voltage LEDs.

We are still looking to organize a group of volunteers to
help out some good folks one day out of the week, with some
organic gardening and we still do need someone to take Minutes
at the next meeting.

It would be possible, I would think, if there is a single female or
two out there who is cool about living closer to the Earth then
I may be able to provide a place for you to live, for
maybe 6 months out of the year up where I live in Northern
California.

If you can simply come to our next meeting on March 29th. - T

http://edenvillage.net/18.htm

posted in Fluid Relationships - 1 reply

Documentary - The Nympho

2008-02-22T19:34:07Z

My name is Tim Seitz and I am making a movie that celebrates the "Slut", I'm making a documentary about real "Nymphos", proud sluts who enjoy life and don't hide their celebration of sex. The two "stars" of the documentary are-

Lisa Sparxxx - Once the world record gangbang girl for having sex with over 900 guys www.lisasparxxx.com
Oasis - An Arizona girl who has bareback parties that are viedotaped www.cum2oasis.com

We will be interviewing other women who call themselves "nymphos" or "sluts", in order to be interviewed you must be-

18 years of age or older
Female (not transgendered)
Straight or Bisexual

We will be doing phone and video interviews for the movie.

To be considered please send an e-mail to me at cladinblak@aol.com
Tell me why you consider yourself a "Slut" or "Nympho" and would you be willing to be interviewed on video for the movie.

Thank you!

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

Recent Polyamory in the News

2008-02-14T02:28:54Z

If you haven't been reading Polyamory in the News (http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/) in the last three months, here's some of what you missed:

** Today's Washington Post (Feb. 13) has a HUGE feature article on Loving More's Poly Living conference, held in early February. (I was there! Yay!) The article is remarkably perceptive and insightful. This is Big Time Stuff, getting talked about all over. Copy and save this one.

** Is the poly-vs-swinging debate finally settling itself? On both sides of this cultural divide, people seem to be deciding that it's a continuous spectrum on which you can position yourself where you wish. This takes on new relevance as swinging goes through an upsurge of mainstream attention -- which will increase when the primetime CBS-TV drama "Swingtown" debuts.

** For a couple opening up to poly, well-thought-out relationship agreements are a fine idea. But be prepared to outgrow them. In particular, don't get snagged by the Symbol Over Substance Mistake.

** "An Open and Shut Marriage" in the New York Times is a study in how not to try. How many blunders can you count here? Please -- research what other people have learned before setting out to reinvent this often difficult wheel. In the last 25 years the poly community has accumulated, through trial and error, a substantial body of wisdom.

** A chain of New Age magazines decides to spread a bit of this wisdom, in "Love Big."

** "Why is polyamory offensive? ...The most telling reason is that it makes people explore their own relationships and the fears that reside within...."

** A couple in Florida, brimming to share what they've found, announce Poly 101 workshops for the public and get nicely written up in their local paper. Maybe you can too.

** Rachel Kramer Bussell, a leading erotica author, wrestles with the Case for Open Relationships. "Polyamory is not a panacea; if you think you'll cure any and all sexual longings or be free of jealousy simply by taking on new partners, you're probably in for a rude awakening."

** Plus bunches of positive coverage in Spain (with TV-news video), Norway, Germany....

------------------

Here's the site: http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/ . The 10 most recent items are up front. Look in the recent monthly archives for more. The archives are also sorted by subject and, in some cases, location.

I've done 184 of these reports in the last two and a half years. I hope you have as much fun browsing them as I did creating them.

Cheers,

Alan

P.S.: If you're on LiveJournal, you can friend the LJ feed for the site:
http://syndicated.livejournal.com/polymedia

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

Erotic Arts Party in NYC Feb 13 (and need some performers)

2008-02-13T00:44:31Z

Hi...
I'm out in LA but I'm working to help my cousin set up an erotic arts party
in NYC on Feb 13....(I'll be out on the 11th to set up)
we need a few more acts for the main stage... the more artistic the better...
You can check out the myspace page he made at
www.myspace.com/saintvenustheater

There will be music and performers and some
erotic lap dancers - but the intention is to not be any one thing...
it is not a strip club or a burlesque show, or a fetish event... and there is
absolutely no
sex for sure....

and if anyone wants to go just send me an email...
but if you have an act or know someone who does and could forward this
it would be greatly appreciated.

Previously we have only had very small private parties. This is the first one
in a long time open to the public and for a bigger crowd. If this one
goes well we'll do them regularly.

Cheers
rr

posted in Fluid Relationships - 1 reply

Fluid Bonded Partners

2008-02-06T16:11:51Z

Do you associate a different romantic or serious level of closeness or commitment to someone when you decide to become fluid bonded (no barriers) with them? What about if you and your partner are in an open relationship and/or are polyamourous? What happens when they decide to go to that level with their other partners as well? Does it change or at least challenge how you feel about them emotionally or romantically (based on whatever value/symbolism you've placed on that bonding)? Or is it just a matter of communicating this to all stakeholders and nothing more.
What has been your experience and how did it work out?

posted in Fluid Relationships - 7 replies

The Diary of Jane

2008-02-05T22:49:34Z

I recently wrote this as a response to someone who commented on the fact that the message of my last blog post was a bit depressing. I started to explain, then once I'd written it out realized how utterly crushed I really was. I find this surprising, as I'm kind of famous for being uncrushable.

The fact is, I'm in love with my best friend. I have been for a long time, almost since we met. I was with someone already. In fact, the way we met was Jane trying to hook up with her. Jane was with someone too, and I became best friends with both of them.

What I felt in those days has lingered, because at the time without putting too fine a point on it I had had a pretty rough run of significant others in my life who enjoyed leaving bruises n' not in the fun way. I know it's very rare in men, but it happens, and it happened to me a couple of times in a row. Point is, Jane took me in, cared for the parts of me that were broken when I got the courage to get out of a particularly long-running travesty of a relationship. After, I was barely there.

They built me up, they even gave me a place to live, and more through what I saw between them (though the relationship was ultimately doomed) I re-learned about love and the way people who love each other treat each other.

I came to admire my best friend, and as I said I came to be in love with her. Still, I had learned the skills I needed to make it a pure love, one that didn't threaten I'd do something to sabotage her relationship or even cause me to covet her overlymuch. That feeling gave me the faith to face everything that came after, to get to here. That feeling even made me a "True" friend for what felt to me like the first time in my life.

That, give or take, is the back-story. Since, she moved here and I moved back to my home state for a year and a half. When Amber (my now wife) and I moved here we got together, her newly single and me in the first *Real* relationship in my life.

Long story short we went out, ended up in a limo plied with WAAAAY too much vodka and then back at her place. A threesome ensued. While due to the sheer amount we had drank it was by no means my finest work, but I always held it as a singular moment, important. Me able to express my love in the only way I hadn't been able to, and with the two people I cared most about in the world. I had no illusions, I took it for what it was. If I seem to harbor a longing for the memory it's only because the memory itself to me is so sweet.

Even when we'd first started spending time together, it didn't take me long to realize while Jane and I created a fantastic gear, at the heart of it she comes from a much brighter place than I do. I could never dwell there, my eyes could never adjust. It was something I excepted with a sweet and excruciating sting, crossed myself and gave thanks for all that I did have in this life, and moved forward. As I'm fond of saying, I always knew Jane would never feel as much for me as I did for her.

But today I got a letter from her, it was titled "confession" and it was pretty much a denunciation and apology for her part in the act, and a very detailed account of exactly why it meant absolutely nothing to her, and in fact *could* not have at that time in her life.

I guess I'm upset, sad and frustrated. She wrote me this because I don't hide my appreciation for her. I mean, she's my best friend. But, due to the particularly artsy and editorially inclined sort of people that we are evidentally my appreciation has become so overt that my friend, my junior of SEVERAL years, felt the need to "check" me.

This is profound, what I feel. It's profound and wonderful and doesn't require a damn thing from anyone. I love who Jane is, and for all the subtleties surrounding that the simple fact of it was the foundation for alot of who I am today.

And I'm struck by the fact that no one does understand. Or worse, that they do and don't want it.

suddenly, I find myself out of words.

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

flood!!

2008-02-04T15:01:39Z

You know what they say..when it rains it pours.
I've been single and I mean SINGLE for the past year after returning home from travelling for many years..
So I decided to try one of these online dating sites and I'm getting a flood of attractive women asking me out on dates..

Do I tell each one about the others...I have no idea if they themselves are going on several dates..Kinda new to all this.
I'm not actually in a relationship or have kissed any yet.. But I can feel their energies and intentions building...

How does one be cool about seeing what's out there with out selling themselves short OR mislead anyone else??

posted in Fluid Relationships - 2 replies

Share the Bliss of All-Chakra Lovemaking w/ Dr. Sasha Lessin & Janet Lessin

2008-02-02T17:34:12Z

Share the Bliss of All-Chakra Lovemaking w/ Dr. Sasha Lessin & Janet Lessin

The Patti Taylor Show, "Expanded Lovemaking" Episode 33
http://personallifemedia.com/podcasts/230-expanded-
lovemaking/episodes/3493-sharing-bliss-chakra-lovemaking-dr-sasha

In this show, hear Dr. Patti talk to Dr. Sasha Lessin and his wife,
Janet Lessin, about All-Chakra Tantra. The Lessins are the founders
of the School of Tantra in Maui, Hawaii, where they teach people to
make love with their whole being, and to unblock any and all stuck
places that get in the way of intimacy, personal power and full
orgasmic presence. Learn what the chakras mean, and how to use them
to create a beautiful lovemaking ceremony. Experience for yourself a
dynamic process that Sasha and Janet use to generate connection using
the seven chakras to send shivers of delight up your spine! You can
feel the energy while listening, and better yet, also reproduce this
in your own home with the handout the Lessins give. Then, tune in as
Sasha gives Janet a reenactment of a full ejaculatory orgasm. Sasha
very specifically goes stroke by stroke over exactly how he evokes
every little nuance and pleasure from Janet's clit and "cave", as
well as creating her "gushing" over the edge. Youwill get lots of
specific ideas. Janet's commentaries on the emotional impact of
Sasha's touches, and her vulnerability, are priceless, as are both of
their spoken words to one another. Learn the kind of work the Lessins
do to help others with issues such as sexual healing and emotional
blocks to sex in their private counseling. This show models how
easily true expanded love can be made! Plus, find out how they
connect their work to planetary healing.

How to Really Love A Woman
Transcript

Dr. Patti Taylor: Welcome to the Expanded Lovemaking show. I'm your
host, Dr. Patti Taylor of Expanded Lovemaking dot com, and I teach
you how to give and receive way more pleasure than you ever dreamed
possible. Today on the show, we are talking about sharing the bliss
of all chakra lovemaking with a partner. Usually, we have guests on
talking about what they do. Today, we're so lucky to have two experts
on the show experiencing intimate yet powerful lovemaking and talking
to us as they go through it themselves. I'll be inviting you to join
in energetically and to take back juicy knowledge and energy into
your own lovemaking enjoyment. Our guests are Dr. Sasha Lessin, Dean
of the School of Tantra, with his wife, Janet Lessin, Professor of
Tantric Studies at the School of Tantra. So, welcome, Sasha and Janet
Lessin.

Janet Lessin: Aloha! Thank you for having us here.

Sasha Lessin: Aloha.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Hi, so, Dr. Sasha Lessin is a practicing
psychotherapist and relationship counselor for over thirty years who
brings many special skills to his counseling, including hypnotherapy,
holotropic breathing, healing and past-life regressions, spirit
releasement, and voice dialogue. Janet Lessin is an accomplished
writer and teacher of Tantra. Sasha and Janet teach their diverse
healing and spiritual paths together through their School of Tantra.
They're the authors of All Chakra Tantra and How to Really Love a
Woman, amongst many other incredible books and things that they've
created. They live in Maui, Hawaii, where they offer workshops,
ceremonies, singles events, couples events, residential retreats,
Tantra training of all sorts, and they also do counseling by phone. I
think our listeners will love this show because, in a real life
experience, you can feel the energy instead of just hearing about it.
And I've always loved being able to model myself after experts. So
today, then, we will find out all about All Chakra Tantra and have
some demonstrations of the Lessins' most requested teachings.
Hopefully some of them, anyway. Including creating an intimate female
ejaculatory lovemaking session. So let's get started! Let's find out
a little bit about All Chakra Tantra, and I think we need to start
out finding out what is a chakra. So hello, and can you tell us a
little about All Chakra Tantra?

Sasha Lessin: Oh, I'd love to, and I'll be posting this stuff on your
site, Patti, so people can get it. Tantra, one of its meanings
is "weaving." It means weaving all levels of your awareness, and
these levels we call "chakras." These are things within you and
between you and those you love. Think of the chakras with your body
parts, the bottom of your torso, genitals is the next one, belly,
heart, throat, brain, then the neocortex. And these are the parts
that make you aware of first security, the sexuality, then power,
love is the heart, talk the throat, clarity- that's the vision
center. And spiritual connection. Each of these chakras constitues an
inner dimension within you and an outer dimension between you and
your lovers, and in each chakra you have a number of sub-cells or
inner voices, energies concerned with the tasks of the chakra
involved. Now, in All Chakra Tantra, you center yourself at each
chakra with regard to the sub-cells active in the issues of concern
to that chakra so you have the benefit of consulting them all. That's
within you. And then you also center yourself in your lover
relationship, so you create a two-person, or multi-person if you're
polyamorous- an interpersonal entity. It could be diadic or triadic,
but it weaves your needs with those of your lovers, and you and your
lovers join together in an ocean of consciousness and merge with all
of the humanities. And of course- let's look at each one, really get
a feeling for it. The first chakra relates to your perineum, it
concerns your need to feel, belong, feel safe, secure, and to take
care of your inner child. And balance within yourself means being
able to take care of this vulnerable part, the part that feels
emotions and can be hurt so easily, and the part of you that protects
that, being able to have a balance. You can decide how emotional
you're going to be. It means that if you're in a Tantric
relationship, you help your mate feel emotionally and financially
secure and take care of each other's health. So that's the first
chakra. We do a whole lot of real, real integration, of getting past
the programs that our inner children have from their parents, the
parents in the real world, so that we can be free to be with our
lovers.

Dr. Patti Taylor: And the perineum is located where?

Sasha Lessin: It's between the genitals and the anal sphincter area.
This is how you relate to the earth. Your security, your sense of
belonging to life, belonging to a relationship. It's really critical
that our children, the sensitive part of us, be allowed to be present
in our lovemaking.

Dr. Patti Taylor: I would think without that active, that you
couldn't even really start your lovemaking.

Sasha Lessin: No, it's really hard. You have to distinguish your
lover from your dad and your mother so that you are just present with
what's real for you in the relationship. It's totally critical. We're
conditioned by so many little habits that we imprinted without even
thinking by seeing how our parents interacted, and by our society.
What we want to do is get free to really feel our sensorium and be
present with all of our emotions. And that means you have to feel
safe with your lover. That's the first chakra, and that's where the
bonding patterns take place, and how to keep sweet interaction going.
The second chakra is what we're going to deal with a bit today, which
is your sexual needs, and within you it's being able to express
yourself sexually and when to hold back. So in other words, for every
chakra we try to balance ourselves out, many aspects of us that are
concerned with in this case chakra two, the sexual chakra. We try to
center ourselves among the impulses we have so we can make
discriminating behaviors. For women, what we teach of the second
chakra, we teach women how to have ejaculatory orgasms, where a fluid-
anrida, it's called, it's alkaline -comes down from the urinary
bladder down the urethra and squirts or burbles out, accompanied by a
clitoral and vaginal orgasm, and it's really great. For a man we
teach complete and total ejaculatory control, which is really very
easy once you control your abdominal muscles. That's chakra two. The
third chakra relates to the belly-diaphragm area. We have power,
being able to lead or follow in the relationship, being able to let
the other person lead, and being able to encourage them to take
what's rightfully theirs in life. The fourth chakra- and we're going
to be demonstrating each one of these when we do our lovemaking in a
little bit, the re-enactment. But the fourth chakra is the heart
chakra, being able to give love and to get love, to not- being so
balanced within you means you're not into giving all the time so you
use up all your energy and feel resentful, or not just demanding all
the time so that you're so selfish no one wants to relate to you, but
the balance. The fifth chakra is the throat chakra, and here we're
concerned with expression, being able to both say what's really real
for you in your authenticity and being able to keep your mouth shut
when what you say won't be helpful, true, or kind. So, being able to
choose what we say and don't say, and to really be able to hear each
other. And then the next chakra, of course, is the brain chakra, and
this is where you have vision, where you see things, intuit, and the
intellect, where you think things. And all those, we ask that to be
present in All Chakra lovemaking, and that's really, really
important, too. Lots of times when you're making love you'll have
visions of your childhood or past lives or archetypes or movies your
saw. Let all those things happen. It really enriches everything. The
seventh chakra, your crown chakra, we think of as opening up and
allowing you to become spiritually one, so that you're not feeling
separate at all from the person you're making love with, but you are
one. You transcend your separate-self sense in that sense, so you're
not just identified with little you and not just identified with your
mate, but you identify with everything in the world, and that is the
spiritual dimension that we seek. And there's a little chant that
goes with it. And we're going to show you how we bring all that stuff
into our lovemaking.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow, that's really exciting, and I'm really looking
forward to this. I think a lot of our listeners would love to be
having that kind of fully integrated, alive on all levels kind of
lovemaking.

Sasha Lessin: Cool. Yeah, we love to share that, and also on the site
we have a thing that you can do by yourself where you feel each
chakra, where you empower your inner child, you empower your sexual
part. You go through each one of these. There's the chant you can do
yourself looking in a mirror or, as we'll be doing in a little bit,
with one lover putting their legs around the hips of the other and
looking into each other's eyes and then making these sounds called
the Bija Mantra. These Sanskrit sounds that activate these chakras
doing blessings. We'll be doing that after the break.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay, cool. Well, I know this is going to be sort
of the short version of what could take possibly hours, so I thank
you for- but I guess you could do this in a long version of a short
version, so let's go ahead and give it a roll here. I'm all juicy and
waiting to let it go.

Janet Lessin: Okay. So, we begin with the setup. While the woman is
taking a bath and preparing herself for her Tantric ritual, her
beloved prepares the space. And he puts out beautiful tapestries, or
lights incense and candles and brings flowers. He's interviewed her
beforehand so he knows what kind of music she likes, what kinds of
things she likes to relax, maybe some fine wine or something. At our
home, we're located high on West Maui Mountain, and for our date
today, we have the phone on today because we're talking to you, but
normally we turn off the phone, and we would lock all the doors, and
turn off the TV, and get into a sacred ritual space. In our location,
we're very fortunate. Our bed overlooks beautiful Maui Harbor, where
we see windsurfers on the north shore. Sasha has prepared our Tantric
lovemaking nest, and there's tapestries showing deities making love
and he's put down all these wonderful, comfy pillows, and lots of
towels so that when the woman- when I -eventually ejaculate, I won't
be worried about wetting the bed.

Sasha Lessin: If she wets the bed, it's the man's reponsibility to
sleep in the wet spot after. So what we do, way before we even
connect like this, we take the time to share our emotions, so we
makes sure there's no unfinished emotional business that hasn't been
resolved and we can be fully present. Then we sit in this- it's
called "yab yung" position, it's got her legs over mine. And now we
breathe in and out at the same time and gaze in one another's left
eyes. As I let my awareness flow through Janet's left eye, beyond her
face, beyond her present form, I go to her deep soul, to the core of
her. And she's doing the same for me. She meditates on experiencing
my essence through my left eye. It's a portal to my soul. And when I
feel her deepest essence, I can feel that contact, and then it
resonates within me. Her consciousness and mine, I can realize, are
identical. She is me and I am she and we are one. We experience this
existential love. Unity.

Janet Lessin: Then we move into syncopated breaths, where one is
breathing out and the other is breathing in. We're sharing breath.
And I breathe out through my mouth towards Sasha's nose, and he
inhales my breath through his nostrils. Then I inhale through my nose
and he breathes out through his mouth towards my nose. Each time I
inhale I say to myself, "He loves me." Each time I exhale into his
nose, I say to myself, "I love you." And he does the same meditation.

Sasha Lessin: I love you.

Janet Lessin: Back and forth. "I love you, you love me," with each
exhale and inhale.

Sasha Lessin: And now, as we keep gazing into each other's eyes, we
chant this ancient Sanskrit mantra. It's got seven syllable
words, "lam," "bam," "ram," "yam," "ham," and "ohm." Each syllable
will activate a different one of these chakras that we were talking
about. The "lam" will pump our perineum, the "bam" will invigorate
our genitals, "ram" empowers our bellies, "yam" heals our
hearts, "ham" frees our voices. Our third eye, from our head to the
occipit vibrates with "oh," and we think and intuit at the same time.
Then we chant "m" and our crowns open and unite us with all that is
and will be. When we complete the seven syllables, we tighten our PC
muscles and our belly muscles, pulse our anuses, and imagine energy
flowing from the tip of our spine, the bottom, up through our bodies,
out our crowns, where our energies meet. So we're going to chant
these, and if you want to and it's safe to do so, you can even chant
them with them, and they are "lam, bam, ram, yam, ham, and ohm." So
here we go.

Sasha and Janet Together: Lam, bam, ram, yam, ham, oh, m.

Sasha Lessin: Belly hold until you feel this whole field of energy,
baby.

Janet Lessin: So we're vibrating together, sweetheart, in every one
of our chakras.

Sasha Lessin: Oh, sweetheart, thank you for letting me worship and
adore you. I delight in serving you, and I love relating this
intimately. May my adoration heal hurts I have caused you or others
have caused you. May our hearts unite, and may we become one with the
universe. What would you like to say to consecrate the worship I
offer you, darling?

Janet Lessin: Sweetheart, I love how you take the time to pleasure
and honor who I am. You slow things down and listen to me kindly.
Your love compels me until time is slow or all stands still. And
nothing else seems to exist but you and me, as we become one with the
infinite and all that there is. You help me to evolve, grow, expand
in my path to consciousness. I appreciate how you meet me and are so
present, touch me sweetly and softly, and speak these wonderful words
to me as I dissolve into higher states of consciousness, and from
there I can see other worlds and other realms and dimensions, and
find new ways of being and becoming a more loving self. Thank you, my
love.

Sasha Lessin: Okay, honey, I'm going to lie you down on your back. I
wanted to dedicate my intention in this connect. I'm going to put
first my left hand on your heart, there. You put your hand on top of
mine. My right hand is going to be on each one of your chakras as I
bless each. These are called mudras, it's to put you in
the "moodras," so to speak. So first, I put my hand lightly on your
perineum. Pulse your anal sphincter, honey. Sweetheart, I love you, I
want you to feel your base, to enjoy health, safety, and security. I
want you to know you belong and please, may your inner child be
present in this lovemaking. Feel the energy, feel the energy. Now I'm
going to touch your labia. I love you at your yoni- that's Sanskrit
for "vagina" -and bless you sensually. May you be sensual, creative,
and sexual. May your goddess of sensuality, the second chakra
goddess, be present for this trice. Now I'm going to touch your
belly. I love you in your power chakra. Take what's yours,
sweetheart. May the goddess of strength enjoy the sensual touch we
share at your genital chakra. Now I'm going to put both hands on your
heart. I send you love. May you feel the touch with pleasure. May
your romantic subpersonality enjoy this experience. Now the back of
your neck with my right hand. I love you, may you say your thoughts,
make sounds, and express as you connect with me. I'm going to touch
your brow. I celebrate how you understand and intuit. I invite your
visionary to give you images and insight as I stroke your grotto. And
lastly I touch the top of your head. I love you and merge with you.
May your spiritual self be present and may you experience unity with
the universe. And now, sweetheart- oh, this feels so good -I'd like
to give you a gentle massage all over. I'm going to especially rub
the grasillus muscles- that is, the muscles on the inside of each of
your thighs -because massaging this grasillus muscle also stimulates
the lateral ends of your hidden clitoral tissues. There we go. Feel
that?

Janet Lessin: Yeah.

Sasha Lessin: Now your belly muscles, just above the pubic bone, so
that the energy can flow from your power chakra- that's the third
chakra -down from your navel to your genital chakra. It takes a
while. We do a long massage. So we'll just jump to the chase, here,
and I'll say to Janet...I'd really like to give some focused touch to
your temple of love, honey.

Janet Lessin: Okay. Please, please do.

Sasha Lessin: I'm going to massage, then I'm going to kiss your
genital drapes and the valance, so to speak, over your pearl-
clitoral tip. I want you to make sounds and direct me with words or
sounds, give me feedback. I'm going to lick and stroke. I won't be
able to talk soon, but what I'll be doing is I'll be lightly stroking
her outer labia. Relaxing her clitoral hood-

Dr. Patti Taylor: Before we do that, can I just jump in for a second,
before I hop on a plane to Hawaii? First thing I want to say is that
it's totally astonishing, and we are just going to have to pause for
break. Can you, like, hang out in that space for a moment?

Sasha Lessin: Sure, I'll just be sure not to rub her the wrong way.

Dr. Patti Taylor: I don't think that's possible. But we do have to
stop for a quick break, to support our sponsors. You guys just hang
out there. I'm shaking from head to toe, so it won't be a problem for
me. This is Dr. Patti Taylor, and I'm with Sasha and Janet Lessin in
their magical space, and we will be right back. You can learn more
about Sasha and Janet at www.schooloftantra.com.

[Advertisement.]

Dr. Patti Taylor: We're back, and we are talking about sharing the
bliss of All Chakra Lovemaking with a partner. We were talking about
the All Chakra Tantra blessing, and now we are going into the female
ejaculatory orgasm. Why don't you just keep going?

Sasha: Okay. While we've had the break, I've been stroking her labia,
and gently, gently rolling the clitoral hood around the crown itself.
And I notice, now, that her vaginal lips are starting to swell. The
outer lips are swelling and now I can see the beautiful little inner
lips. I trace circles, spirals, horizontals, verticals, diagonals,
figure eights on them with my finger. I alternate long and short
strokes. Playful. Tap, rub, knead. It takes a lot of air time, but we
would do this for about fifteen minutes until the clitoral hood
itself starts to push back and I can see the tip of the clitoris
itself, and then I say...sweetheart, would you like me to polish your
pearl?

Janet Lessin: Oh, yes. Oh-ho, yes.

Sasha Lessin: First I blow on your genitals. It's really important
not to blow inside the vagina because it's an anaerobic system, but I
just want to make some hot air on the outside, little baby kisses on
the clitoris. I'm going to twirl my tongue around the crown and lick
your labia and reach softly into your yoni with my fingers. All the
time, even though I'm down here, I'm looking into your eyes. I
salivate as much as I can to really lubricate your orifice.

Janet Lessin: Ah, yes. Thank you. What I'm experiencing right now-
I've got to come back into consciousness in order to talk to you -is
I'm not really thinking per se, but I'm evolving into this higher
state of consciousness. And Sasha and I are divine, sacred, twin
souls but I know the way. He's taken me there endless, numerous
times. So here I'm experiencing pure pleasure. It's a state of total
bliss, like a continuous orgasmic state where one orgasm blends into
another, and I become one with my beloved Sasha. I recognize that we
are eternal beings, that we've always been together and always will
be. And then I become one with my animal friends, and nature, the
island of Maui, the earth, the solar system, out to the cosmos and
eventually I feel my oneness with Source, that divine, infinite space
of love and light, and I'm simultaneously feeling my oneness with
Sasha here in the physical plane. So I've transcended and I've
brought Heaven to earth. And he comes into his oneness with me, and
he feels it just as if it's happening to him.

Sasha Lessin: Oh, you bet, baby. I'm taking my mouth off of her
clitoris for a minute to ask a question. I would like to enter your
sacred cave with my right ring finger. Would you like that, honey?

Janet Lessin: Oh, yes, lover. Please take me even higher.

Sasha Lessin: Okay, so I lick my finger so it's quite moist, and I
place the tip of my fingerpad just inside the vaginal opening. Now
pull my finger in, honey.

Janet Lessin: Okay.

Sasha Lessin: I feel the muscles pulsing on my finger. Now I'm going
to curl my fingerpad inside your yoni towards your navel and back
towards your inner leg so it rests gently on your G-spot area, just
behind the pubic bone. Let's breathe together. I'm going to keep my
hand still, and I want you to just to imagine that my finger reaches
inside all the way to your heart. Okay, now I'm going to start
a "c'mere" motion with my finger, taking the pad from the cervix to
the orifice. Slowly, back and forth. From the top of your cave to the
cervix, to the cave's opening. And all the while, I'm going to keep
kissing your pearl and lapping your labia, releasing lots of saliva.
This would go on for some time. Then I start turning my wrist from
side to side, and I trace a crescent over Janet's G-spot. Then, very
soft and light at first, I sweep, turning my wrist from up to down,
from the left half of your cave. Slowly I skim the front of my right
finger from the cave roof to its floor and the outside door, and then
I'm going to have to take my right ring finger and put my left finger
inside. Tben I can get the whole other side of your yoni roof.

Janet Lessin: Yeah. Well, after a few minutes, Sasha changes his
position, so he eases his back and neck, and he rubs and taps and
touches all over inside my vagina. He strokes different levels,
different depths, finding the pressure. He alters his speed, and he
goes in and out, and traces the throbbing veins and the arteries, and
presses gently all the way to the bone in each part of my sacred cave.

Sasha Lessin: Sweetheart, would you like me to pet you with two
fingers inside?

Janet Lessin: Yes, please.

Sasha Lessin: Okay, so now I move my fingers from the cervix- I get
right between my two fingers toward the orifice, and I have in my
fingers- I can feel through the intervening flesh, I can feel the
inner clitoris, and also the urethral sponge. I can feel the sponge,
which surrounds the urethra and goes from the urinary bladder to the
urinary viatus where the urine comes out. The tissue gets rough. You
can feel it descending, it's about the size of a little finger now.
It's getting quite stimulated. The area just behind the pubic bone is
swelling. This is the so-called G-spot area. That's it, that's it. Do
I got it?

Janet Lessin: Yes, you have the right spot, sweetheart. If you keep
going like that, in short order I can ejaculate.

Sasha Lessin: Great! Push your uterus out like you're delivering a
baby. Push out, honey.

Janet Lessin: Thank you, sweetheart.

Sasha Lessin: Wow, that's great, honey! Wow! Oh, Janet's ejaculating,
squirting ounces of anrida. Divine nectar! Now's where I say your
affirmations, honey. You're beautiful! Forever young! I love you
forever! You're coming into your power!

Janet Lessin: I love you, sweetheart.

Sasha Lessin: This is so beautiful, sweetheart.

Janet Lessin: Thank you.

Sasha Lessin: Now let me just hold you a bit. Let me come up here.
I'm going to keep my hand in your yoni, the palm of my hand across
your mons. I love you so much.

Janet Lessin: I love you so much. So, in a normal Tantric day, we
would just keep continuing.

Sasha Lessin: The easiest time to have an orgasm is-

Janet Lessin: Right after you have an orgasm.

Sasha Lessin: What is important when a woman has an ejaculatory
orgasm is not to demand intercourse. If she wants to have intercourse
next you can, but what's really nice is to just, if you're the giver,
to just be there quietly and just see what she wants to say if that's
the entire experience. Because usually when a person has an orgasm
like this, it has clitoral and vaginal, as well as a urinal
ejaculatory aspects, and it's so overwhelming that silence and
meditation is just perfect because you feel at one with your mate and
you feel at one with the universe.

Janet Lessin: It's a very blissful state, but it's also very
vulnerable. So it's important for the giver to be sensitive about his
own needs and not push an agenda. Just be there for his beloved so
that she can reconnect and find all the pieces of her soul and
reconnect with the tissues of her body. And that sometimes takes a
long time, especially if someone had a history of abuse of any kind.

Sasha: Yeah. In a more advanced Tantra, I would put some lubricant on
fingers of my other hand and slowly work those fingers into the base
chakra. Then I would move the fingers in different insane patterns
than the fingers I have in the yoni, my tongue on the clitoris, so
that I have many, many different stimulations going at the same time.
I would tap a little finger against the very tip of her lowest
vertebrae so that the kundolini, the energy from the tip of the
spine, starts to move up. I'm looking in her eyes, and saying
beautiful things. So we have all these things going at once, and then
I may take my other hand, my left hand, out of the base chakra, push
through the top, right underneath the navel, through the outside of
her skin. That's called "uniting the fingers," with my fingers inside
and the fingers outside of her belly go in different directions. I
move the entire clitoris, which is quite a large organ. You only see
the very teeny eighth of an inch or so of the clitoral tip, but
actually the clitoris goes back about an inch and a half into the
body, and then bifurcates, goes down each leg, so that this rubbing
that I did in the beginning of the grasillus muscle, which is one of
the ductor muscles of the leg. This massage of that grasillus was
also massaging the tip of the clitoris, which is a really large
organ. You don't know it, but you can sure feel it inside.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow. Well, that is...I just can't thank you enough
for sharing so...I know it's just a re-enactment, but still powerful
and intimate and very inspirational.

Janet Lessin: Thank you for inviting us to share.

Sasha Lessin: We love sharing. We should do it on TV for you sometime.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well, you know, I wanted to say, I checked out your
website, and we'll give the link again in just a minute. But you have
some beautiful pictures on your website, including how to sit for the
lesson that we talked about in the first segment of the show. And you
have the gorgeous pictures that go along with the beautiful chakras,
and your website is a trip. I absolutely think everybody who listens
to the show should go to www.schooloftantra.com and just spend a day
there or, you know, an hour there, and just tool around and have some
fun with you guys. 'Cause there's just more there than you can
imagine. Anyway, we're going to have to take another break, just for
our sponsors. This is Dr. Patti Taylor, and I'm with Sasha and Janet
Lessin, and we will be right back. And as I said, you can learn more,
and definitely we'll have a great time learning more about Sasha and
Janet. They do so many things. They teach, they have residential
stuff, they write books. Schooloftantra dot com. You can also visit
our episode page and we'll put up some links for them and their new
book All Chakra Tantra.

[Advertisement.]

Dr. Patti Taylor: We're back, and we are talking about sharing the
bliss of All Chakra Lovemaking with a partner. So, before the break,
we were talking about- I don't know if "talking about" is the right
word. We were in the throes of the most exquisite, intimate sharing
imaginable of your experiencing this gorgeous female ejaculatory
orgasm, and I think I'm still almost speechless with the beauty of it
all. I really want to thank you for an incredible gift that you've
given me and my listeners. Our listeners.

Janet Lessin: Our pleasure.

Dr. Patti Taylor: So, just to kind of close down the show a little,
here, I just want to just talk a little bit about what you do with
the people that go all the way to Maui or people that live in Maui.
But, you know, how you empower people. Who are you? Let's find out a
little about you.

Sasha Lessin: One of the most important things that we do is while
we're doing- instead of just going into merely the pleasure part,
which we've done, we take the time to slowly explore every centimeter
of the inside of the yoni and map where it feels good at different
levels of pressure and where there's a numbness or lack of feeling.
Wherever there's numbness or lack of feeling, I say free associate,
and that's when people start to re-live unfinished emotional things.
They're creating blocks to their ejaculatory orgasms and they will
actually start to re-live things that they've forgotten. And I have
them express more than they expressed in the original situation and
then have an imaginary scenario where they act it out so they get
another program that allows them to feel everywhere. And then I move
my finger back to where it felt good in the yoni and then back to
where it felt numb until that feels good, too, until by stimulus
generalization the entire yoni is like a G-spot and the person
doesn't have any blocks to full emotional and sexual feeling.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay, so one thing you do for sure is you help
people wake up their potential for full-on orgasmic expression.

Janet Lessin: Right, if they have any emotional or psychological
issues or trauma it'll block their chakras and they won't be able to
experience their sexuality to its fullest potential. So we do a lot
of cowpering, we do a lot of communications, we help couples grow
closer to each other, we help singles learn how to attract and learn
how to keep their beloved. We use a lot of different
psychotechnologies, and communication techniques, like non-body
communication, voice dialogue, gestalt therapy, existential and past-
life and childhood re-scripting therapies. These are all part of our
Tantra school. People can come and learn how to be Tantric cowpers
and therapists and teachers on all different levels. Some people like
to give workshops and conferences. Some like to do therapy,
individually or couples or in small groups. So Sasha Lessin has been
a therapist, cowper for about forty years. He's just one of the best
on the planet and I'm so blessed to be married to him.

Dr. Patti Taylor: You have stuff going on all the time and it's such
a wide variety of things. Even to get to be around you is just a
cornucopia, an abundance of knowledge pouring out of the two of you.
Do you have any examples of somebody that you've helped recently, and
what happened?

Sasha Lessin: Let's just tell you the story of Janet and how this
worked for her.

Janet Lessin: Oh...well, I wasn't prepared for that. I was very luded
in my childhood. There was a lot of rape and incest issues, so I was
kind of on the way out, I was dying and I'd been to all these
different therapists, and when I met Dr. Lessin we started doing the
yoni work and the- I had what was called "mecunhe," I had a blocked
issue about an incest-rape issue. And once that came forth, it
reversed my physical ails, and once that happened for me I devoted my
life to learning this so I could help other people. So as a
consequence we give people all the time to have these issues, they're
not sure what's going on with them sexually, they don't know why
they're depressed or they're having reactions to where they're
stifling their creativity. They get into incredible negative bonding
patterns with each other. Go ahead, honey. What did you want to say?

Sasha Lessin: It's just so gratifying to realize that you're not
stuck, that you can re-program anything to allow yourself all the
pleasures that life has to hold. And the interesting thing about
ejaculatory orgasms is that since it comes from the urinary bladder,
even people that have had hysterectomies can have incredibly intense
ejaculatory orgasms.

Dr. Patti Taylor: That sounds so amazing. And you combine it with a
trip to Hawaii on top of that, right?

Janet Lessin: Yes, so you want Tantra to become a lifestyle that
affects all avenues of your life. It'll help you in your job, and
transcend over to all your relationships. Your family, friends.

Sasha Lessin: We really think that making love is the alternative to
violence. The evidence is overwhelming that if you don't abuse or hit
your children, and if you allow good sex among people without a lot
of restrictions, then people do not engage in violent crime or war.
So make love, not war. And we teach you how to really make love well.

Dr. Patti Taylor: That's really beautiful. Well, we're almost out of
time, so I just have time for one final question each. So, if you
could leave our listeners today with one final thought, what will it
be? And you can decide who goes first.

Sasha Lessin: Go first, darling.

Janet Lessin: Be true to yourself. In Tantra we encourage authentic
communication. Learn how to speak close to the truth and sometimes
you may have consequences but at least you'll set yourself free. Free
to be who you really are.

Sasha Lessin: Listen to each other. When your lover is emotional,
don't just shut it off, but encourage it. Let their feelings out.
Empathize with those feelings. Find out what they need, and then ask
what you can do to help meet those needs.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow. Thank you so much. That's very, very
beautiful, heartfelt advice, but why am I not surprised? I just
deeply want to thank you for revealing of yourselves and essentially
modeling for me and for all of us the beautiful stuff you had to
share today. I want to remind everyone that we will have links up on
our episode page to a handout that you can actually download so that
you can have the bija mantras and take them home and practice them
with your lover, because it sounds like that would be a great way to
kick off any fabulous lovemaking session. And I also want to say that
these beautiful mantras seem to be at the bottom of pretty much every
page of your website as well. So you will be able to go to our
episodes page for this show and get a handout, as well as finding out
about their book, All Chakra Tantra and How to Love a Woman.

Sasha Lessin: And also for those people that have alternate
relationships, that is something we really love to do. You don't have
to be conventional. You get to choose for yourself who make love with
and how.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Right. So you are very, very diverse in your
talents. Thank you once again for coming on the show. I had a
phenomenal time and experience today.

Janet Lessin: Thank you for having us.

[All exchange goodbyes.]

Dr. Patti Taylor: So this brings us to the end of our show. Thank
you, listeners, for listening and joining in. Please send me email at
patti@personallifemedia.com. For text and transcripts of this show
and other shows, please visit our website at personallifemedia.com.
And come post a blog comment at our blog page, too. So, if you
haven't already, please be sure to subscribe to the Expanded
Lovemaking show, so that you can get automatic updates as soon as
they become available. And please visit me, Dr. Patti Taylor, at
expandedlovemaking.com, where you can join my mailing list and find
out more about my products, services, and events. So this is your
host, Dr. Patti Taylor, and that's all for now. And I remain yours in
ever expanding lovemaking. And I'll see you next week.

Patti's wonderful site:
http://personallifemedia.com/podcasts/230-expanded-
lovemaking/episodes/3493-sharing-bliss-chakra-lovemaking-dr-sasha

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

jealousy and fantasy

2008-02-01T17:06:51Z

there has been so much discussion about the dynamics and fundamentals of self reflection in the context of jealousy and intimacy; but im still at a basic level and I need some insight! I identify as bisexual, my husband and I have had many lovely experiences w/ women- however I exist in this fantasy of watching hi fuck other women while I am forced to observe, at which time I am pissed and extremely turned on. I can barely have "normal" sex without calling up a fantasy. While I know that 'kinks' are what they are I feel confused as to what is healthy and what is low self esteem.

reflections?

posted in Fluid Relationships - 2 replies

fuidity during pregnancy

2008-01-15T23:34:56Z

I am 1 yr postpartum with my first child and just now I feel myself re-opening to my open fluid view of relationships. During my pregnancy and postpartum time I felt very very very fearful of my partner being with any other woman. I always was willing to challenge myself to be okay w/ it during this time, but our experiences until lately were disastrous. I'm curious if any one else felt this overwhelming biological need to be monogamous during this highly emotional and hormonal time! - M

posted in Fluid Relationships - 11 replies

Think how this might affect many of our relationships-

2007-12-19T02:05:03Z

Well, my dear loved ones and star being family,

As eye hold space for ascension and the evolution of the soul, other dark forces are vying for their lot - what's to do? eye keep posting invitations and calls for action on the Ambassadors of Love Consciousness tribe, though, in the past, eye have gotten little response. how long do we think we can sit here... caught up in our apathy or exhaustion from 9-5 entanglements? what resources can we give, you give, eye give to this global transformation- eye don't know about you, but eye think feudalism is long outdated and way over-rated. freedom is a relative term, though it's complete truth lies in us each through our own manifestations of internal reflection. which is one way that eye know so many of your loving, creative, beautiful, passionate, liberated beings. and, with this in mind, it is very much time for the Jedi council to be held on a global scale with gr8 magnitude. we must assemble- the truth of our souls is praying that we move now, and gather together. of course, consider the likely result of our apathy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJoIbPkRvig

if it does not work to click on this link, then simply paste it in your address window- i ask thee all watch part 1 and 2 at least- the rest is also very good, though only if you are interested at this point. note: part 3 and 4 are repeats, though 5 picks up and continues to 7...

please spread the awareness of the activities of these dark souls- we must join together if we are to have the liberated loving evolution of being we so long for-

praises and gratitude to the all high spirit and home of our loving bliss-

In'Lakesh,

Tasi

posted in Fluid Relationships - 1 reply

just amorous not poly...

2007-12-17T01:00:16Z

lol... i was telling my friend after my recent four year break up...man i dont want to be polyamorous i just want to be amorous. i figured out a long time ago that everything is love... and that i love it all... and every one... i just have to choose to express that via unique relationship dynamics with each and every person and thing...

being just out of a long term... my goal right now is not to be in one for a long time... im done with that for a while... it wouldnt be healthy for me to get into one for a while either... so ive been really pondering relationship dynamics...
one thing that presented itself in my thinking is that relationship dynamics present themselves to you all the time and depending on how honest you are to your self about what your authentic needs are, and how much you can honestly communicate those needs to another and how well you can sense the needs of another helps to define the types of relationship dynamic you can have with another... the one thing that gets in the way of having a dynamic fluid flow in your relationships seems to be not being honest about and communicating your authentic needs. holding on to what you want so bad you fail to see whats been put infront of you...

posted in Fluid Relationships - 21 replies

Polyamory in the News: Why so much good press lately?

2007-12-03T04:28:30Z

What IS it about polyamory that's getting us so much good notice right now in
the mainstream media?

If you haven't been reading Polyamory in the News
(http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/) in the last three months, here's some of
what you missed:

** The style magazine of the New York Post discovers the poly scene (one of
them anyway) and pretty much makes us out as the hippest, most where-it's-at
people in New York City.

** "Are open marriages more successful than traditional couplings?" asks ABC
News.com. "That's like asking if monogamy works," replies Deborah Anapol, whom
ABC News tracked down. "Sometimes it does, and sometimes it doesn't. It depends
almost entirely on the people involved and their willingness to tell the truth
and do the work."

** A sympathetic religion reporter looks at religion and spirituality among
polys for the Religion News Service. Yes, we do have good church-going
Christians.

** The Shifting Meaning of the Word Polyamory: "When a concept goes mass-market it often gets cheapened and
degraded. Even the most wonderful trend is liable to turn sour on going
downmarket, much to its originators' dismay...."

** Songs of Polyamory, including Penelope Swales, Gaia Consort, and the new one
making the rounds, "My Boyfriend's Girlfriend Isn't Me."

** A trans-queer triad bare their lives to a diet-and-gossip magazine. The
story (at least the writer's unedited version) is a heart-warmer.

** "Dear Margo," a top newspaper advice columnist, got a bit snarky toward
polys, heard from many of us in reply, and as a result, came back with an
apologetic and wonderfully good piece educating middle America. Your great-aunt
in Oshkosh may be thinking a little better of you after reading it.

** Leaders of Loving More say their stuff for an hour on Rev. Barry Lynn's talk
show. (Listen to the mp3.)

** A parenting magazine offers a sweet account of a tightly knit triad raising
their young daughter: "And Baby Makes Four".

** All of which prompted a major essay analyzing the "strange credibility of
polyamory" across a surprising swath of mainstream culture. Exactly why are we
doing so well right now, and when does the backlash happen?

Plus: poly in South Africa and Germany; veto power as the nuclear option; poly
rules that couples use (or not); more on open marriage, including a new book in
the works and a poly couple daring to appear on Oprah Winfrey....

------------------

Here's the site: http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/. The 10 most recent items
are up front. Look in the recent monthly archives for more. The archives are
also sorted by subject and, in some cases, location. I've done 169 of these
reports in the last two years; have fun browsing.

Cheers,

Alan

P.S.: If you’re on LiveJournal, you can friend an LJ feed for the site:
http://syndicated.livejournal.com/polymedia

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

TANTRA SOUTH PACIFIC

2007-11-29T11:08:58Z

i. I'm new to Tribe. My friends and I, Swiss, American, French, Nepalese have 5,000 acres in Fiji and 500 acres freehold on an exotic island not far from Suva, Fiji plus a 50 foot motor sailer and we are discussing establishing a Tantra focused colony/commune/resort there. Any interest or suggestions?
Best wishes.

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

ask the submissive

2007-11-05T17:22:27Z

The Society of Janus, a well respected pansexual kink organization here in San Francisco is reaching out to the community at large for this upcoming panel discussion, moderated by one of our own. Please take a moment to consider this event:

Janus Presents: "Ask the bottom", an evening of Q&A with a cross- selection of local personalities on the bottom/submissive/slave/boy/girl/ property side of the SM Power continuum.

Tuesday, November 13
SF Citadel
8:00pm - 10:00pm (Doors open at 7:00pm)
$5 for Janus Members, $15 for non-members (you do not
need to be a member to attend)

What motivates a person to walk the path of slavery? What does a submissive want? What joys do those on the bottoming end of the equation receive from their relationships - and what frustrations? What are the differences that distinguish bottom, slave, boy/girl, submissive, proeprty, and how on earth do we come to those definitions?

Ever wanted to ask questions like these, or others? Then this is an opportunity to pick the brains of an awesome and distinguished line-
up of local SM community teachers, players, mentors and activists.

We have a terrifically diverse panel for you: jody / patrick / boyjean / mercedes / andrea / slavebill have all agreed to answer your questions and share their thoughts and motivations on why they do what they do. bethie Hope O will facilitate the questions and keep the discussion moving smoothly.

This will be a moderated discussion panel, with the opportunity to submit written inquiries anonymously as well as ask your questions
directly. Please join us for this rare opportunity to delve into the mind of these mysterious and intelligent people. You may also send
questions about the event or questions to be discussed at the event to programs at soj dot org

Bethie Hope O identifies as a service-oriented slave and adult little girl. She is very blessed to be a ollared slave to her Daddy for the past 2 years. Bethie believes in creating open, supportive communities and is active in both the BDSM and age play communities. She is honored to be an officer in the Society of Janus and she is the creator and moderator of Submissive Safe Space; a monthly discussion group comprised of like minded submissives and slaves. On-line Bethie moderates discussion groups for age play, submission and survivors of abuse and trauma. She lives in the East Bay area with her Daddy, four dogs, 2 turtles and an obscene quantity of stuffed animals. Her favorite crayon is cornflower blue, unsharpened.

slavebill has been an active member of the Leather Community for almost 20 years and is in his 12th year of service to his Master. he is a co-founder of the San Francisco chapter of the Defenders, has served on the Steering Committee of the Leathermen's Discussion Group and has participated in many workshops including Leather Levi Weekend, the San Francisco boys of Leather, and the Society of Janus. he was a co-sponsor of the Leather Traditions' Service Weekend held last May. In addition to being a 24x7 non-live-in slave, he has a non-leather partner of 25+ years who is understanding and accepting of bill's calling to service as a slave.

Steve Ward has been a member of the Bay Area Leather / kink community for 10 years. He joined the San Francisco boys of Leather in 2002, and was mentored by many of the more prominent Bay Area Dominants and submissives. Steve serves the 15 Association, as member of the Fraternal Committee and Membership Coordinator. He is also President of the Defenders San Francisco, is a steering committee member of the Leathermen’s Discussion Group, and a representative to the San Francisco Leather Forum. Steve has been involved with Leather-Levi Week-end from 2003 through 2006, on the Spirituality Committee, and organized their annual Cocktail Party to welcome newcomers to the community. In his spare time, Steve is a committee member of the upcoming Leather Leadership Conference 12, to be held in 2008 in San Francisco, and is on a newly-formed Bay Area ad hoc committee of the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom.
Steve is 55, single…..and always looking for new opportunities.

patrick was a late bloomer to BDSM. Growing up in a Catholic household in a small, rural Southern town, he had no clue that including hot wax, needles and rope to his youthful explorations of his body meant he was masochistic; it just felt good. Fast-forward to Folsom Street Fair 2003, where his heart melted and his cock hardened watching a Daddy flog His boy. Finally, after reading the "Beauty Series" pushed him to the point of no return, he had his first scene and was introduced to his boy-self. Since entering the public scene, he has had the good fortune never to have served a Dominant unworthy of his submission, and twice has proudly worn the collars of exceptional Men. Currently, he is a slave-in-training to Master Patrick Mulcahey, whom he knows loves and treasures him. he believes in the importance of giving back to his community, and when his work schedule and Master allow, enjoys volunteering at leather events.

andrea Arkouda started her lifestyle journey in 2003 in search of a relationship in which trust was valued above all else. For her, service and obedience are the avenues to achieving a deep interpersonal connection, and completion. she served her first Master for two years, and is now in service to and wears the collar of consideration of Eric Arkouda. With him, she lives a 24/7 M/s lifestyle, and together they host the San Francisco D/s Discussion Group.

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

sugestions for closure ritual...

2007-11-02T21:06:15Z

i recently had a break up full of bittersweet heartache and would love to have a closing ritual...i have never done one before...Any sugestions on themes,movements or specifics would be appreciated....gratitude...stephen

posted in Fluid Relationships - 1 reply

Newbie Introduction - Sexually Monogamous, Socially/Affectionally Poly

2007-10-24T20:13:47Z

Hello,

I figured that this group would be a good place to introduce myself and my perhaps unique, perhaps normal, relationship situation.

For the last two years, I've been in a loving but perhaps limited relationship. I suppose to be honest we started out as "friends with benefits", but we grew into more than that, while less than a couple. I'm still trying to figure out what it will become, but I can't deny that what I was missing all along was simple intimacy, which is one thing that I find to be precious and rare. I was willing to change some of my more casual interactions with other FWB or poly folks in my personal "intimate network" -- was willing to become monogamous, in other words. This leads to all kinds of vulnerabilities, but I think it is worth it.

I've also attended "cuddle parties" and realized that nonsexual physical affection is something that I need as well. That doesn't have to be from a partner -- but trying to draw that line is difficult. A lot of people don't understand where those lines are.

My relationship has become a long-distance one. I want to remain sexually monogamous while going out and having a good time in safe, consensual ways with people that are geographically more available.

Is this unusual? Most people consider relationships to be "package deals" but I might want to do things with someone, not necessarily my usual partner, that aren't really dates but are social or affectionate. Like hanging out with a friend, cuddling or holding hands at the movies, that sort of thing.

I'm sort of living in a nether-world between strait and bisexual, monogamous and poly, a single and a couple, I am trying to find meaning and pleasure.

Just curious if this experience resonates with anyone else's

Chris

posted in Fluid Relationships - 14 replies

Participate in Sex Education video? $1000 for 1 day's work. Legit, not porn industry

2007-10-13T16:44:42Z

Hi Folks,

First off, this is a legitimate offer, not part of the "adult entertainment industry" (porn), not a scam.
A well-established company with over 30 years in the field of sexual health and sex education is finishing up production of a sex education video--- and we still need another couple to participate on-camera. We shoot this month (October) , in Los Angeles.

You would only need to be available for one day (approx 9 a.m to 5:30pm or so...time may vary slightly). We provide lunch. Compensation for the 1-day shoot is $1,000.00.
We're hitting a deadline crunch, hence the posts reaching out to folks who might be interested.
More singles than couples have responded to my outreach---- we need a male-female couple for the video, ideally married, but this is not a requirement. If you're single and interested, perhaps you know someone who would like to work with you on this project..... .
Since we're not in "the porn industry" and not seeking actors per se, we don't have the capacity to match singles up with each other for the purpose of the video. Folks who express serious interest and seem like good candidates for this project will be screened as a couple, their contact info will be forwarded to the producers as a couple, etc.
The video producers prefer a couple over 30 years old , again not set in stone.
If interested, please message me, and I can send more info. Thanks for reading.

posted in Fluid Relationships - 3 replies

Could you please participate in my survey on masculinity?

2007-10-13T16:35:02Z

I am a doctoral student seeking participants to complete a survey that explores the psychological experiences of being a man and how it influences your life. You must be a male who is 18 years of age or older

The survey will take approximately 30 minutes to complete and your participation is anonymous.

If you are interested in contributing to knowledge about how being a man impacts how you view yourself and others, please go to the following website: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=218103339703

Thank you for your help.
Michael Franco
831.480.5180
masculinitystudy@yahoo.com

posted in Fluid Relationships - 1 reply

love needs no labels

2007-10-09T23:39:07Z

I used to think I was monogamous. Then I met my lover. My marriage went from closed to open. I have been married for almost fourteen years. And my lover and I have been involved on and off since September 2001. Since he's long distance, I don't worry so much about how often we'll see each other. I used to vacillate between wondering if I was really a monogamous woman who happened to love two men or if I was really polyamorous. I've come to the conclusion that the label doesn't matter nearly as much as the intention. And that means that I don't worry quite so much about when or if a third man will come into my life. I am approaching fifty. And since I married late (35) and had kids at 38 and 43, my life is plenty full. Come fall both of our daughters will be in school full time, and I am looking forward to taking time for myself.

posted in Fluid Relationships - 15 replies

Alchemical Relationship for Divine Union

2007-10-04T01:45:57Z

ONE

the battle is ONE and gone...

nourishment yearned for

needed to be received

locked up

held away

and left them withering of bone

and of flesh

with hungry hearts

and loins

insatiable

and unfulfilable desire

desperation has been

the path of crumbs

that led me to MY door

why have I not opened to me

fully, wholly

for the angst maintained

for so very long

insisting that you

or someone

would be there

to share

care enough

to prove me wrong

have I not held you away

whilst begging for you to be near

whilst my need

clutched,

pounded

at your chest

no treasure found there

merely a wink in time

of pleasure

then despair

pushed to the edge

and this time

the precipice so high

so vast

so misty, the abyss

she plunges

into the mystery

a future no one knows

alone

she goes

she must

she knows...

surrenders lack

completely

finally understanding

investment in lack

always proves itself to prosper

manifest

there

is just ONE answer

give it over

lay down your arms

idiot

do you not see

IT IS ME

you seek

and look beyond

a billion times

or more

I AM here

give it up

desire

give it up

lack

give it up

attachment

trust

trust

TRUST!

I AM here

always was

always will Be

for I AM

the INFINITE

Heart and Mind

Spirit

as ONE

within thee...

my love, on my doorstep you have been, maybe for a month. please

do not begrudge me this growth. and you think you are ready to unite.

and I question has this unity occurred within your own being or is it

still based upon this desire I write of. either way, it is all fine.

it is again, early wee hours I have been awake and typed out these

words as they came. to be refined, no doubt. but within them the essence

of the freedom they speak of. i seem to be finally getting it.

mmmm... long and arduous do we hammer away for love we refuse to

offer ourselves fully. lets see, if we can be done with this, and then

savor, a lovers kiss, the bliss, fuller union, borne from within, that which

cannot be taken away.

infinite and eternal, as IT is.

An excerpt from my book
copyright Illumina Viula 2006
www.sacred-relationship.com

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

Bay Area Bisexual Network - new Tribe

2007-10-03T09:04:25Z

hi all,

we have a tribe now for BAY AREA BISEXUAL NETWORK; if you are in the bay area and want to participate in our REAL LIFE ACTIVITIES SUCH AS DINNERS AND BRUNCHES, please feel free to drop me a line and you'll get an invitation to the tribe.

it's private but NOT cuz we want it exclusive; we want it to be as inclusive as possible but we don't want any bi haters or wankers so we made it private so it couldn't be searchable by google. (everything not private on tribe shows up in google searches)

hope to see you at one of our events or on our tribe!

much love,

bay bi mod

posted in Fluid Relationships - 1 reply

POLYAMORY & AHIMSA: Talk with Lovers' Lovers by Sasha Lessin, Ph.D.

2007-09-28T19:35:10Z

POLYAMORY & AHIMSA: Talk with Lovers' Lovers by Sasha Lessin, Ph.D.

Do you always, before you connect with someone with whom you're attracted, talk with that person's lovers?

I attended the Network for a New Culture's two week August
community meeting in the mountains of Oregon and found myself in the middle of an earnest debate that, bottom line, concerned alternate ways of connecting with new lovers.

Model 1: RESPECT EXISTING RELATIONSHIPS BEFORE YOU CONNECT

On one side of the debate, my wife Janet and I advocate complete
candor with the significant others of our would-be-lovers–before we
connect sexually with these prospects. Before we even tell anyone
either of us is attracted to someone, Janet and I speak privately
about whether to communicate our attraction to the objects of desire
one or both of us has. If both Janet and I agree to go ahead, we ask
the person(s) if they're interested in getting to know and perhaps
become friends and then lovers with us.

If our prospective lovers say, "Yes, let's explore going deeper with
each other," we ask to speak with each of their significant others
before we and the prospectives engage sexually. If, when we
communicate with our prospective lovers' lovers, these significant
others say. Okay," we proceed to get to know each other with the
intention of assessing whether to become more intimate.

If the significant others of our prospective lovers say, "Wait till
we too get to know you and Janet," we honor this. If they
say, "Wonderful, we fully support you connecting." we proceed to
develop the friendship that can lead to poly loving.

If, however, the significant others of our prospective lovers
indicate that it would create distress for them which they wish to
avoid, we keep our relating to the would-be-prospectives on the level
of friendship and share no sexuality. We choose to create no pain
for others; it hurts us to distress others, so we refrain from sex
with their lovers.

Model 2: FOLLOW YOUR BLISS SPONTANEOUSLY & LIVE WITH CONSEQUENCES

On the other hand in the debate we had at the conference, some polys
took the position that each person was autonomous and needn't consult
anyone–wife, lover or otherwise, nor need their perspectives consult
anyone before engaging in sex. If their prospective lovers' lovers
get uptight over it, too bad, that's life and maybe pain's what the
prospective's lovers need to grow–if they even have a candor
commitment. This sounds a bit like polyfuckery rather than ethical
polyamory the way Janet and I practice it.

We advocate ahimsa–harmlessness–candor, transparency. We believe in
truth, disclosure and kindness.

How do you practice poly? How do you manage communication with the
significant others of your prospective others? On this site and at
the World Polyamory Harbin Hot Springs (CA) Conference Oct 5-7, we
continue this debate in our panel discussion, How We Do Poly. Let us
know your perspective.

http://www.schooloftantra.net/worldpolyamoryassociation/conferences/Ha
rbinHotSprings2007/2007_harbin_hot_springs_presentations.html

posted in Fluid Relationships - 6 replies

human sensuality

2007-09-25T19:31:46Z

a letter to a friend... something to muse over
having viewed many of your photos this morning, i went for a swim in the beautiful byron bay here....feeling evoked, stoked, blest etc.
my musings went something like this... our human race wants to come into fullness in relation to its sensuality...for some, its a natural thing, for others, it can be awkward and unfamiliar, for many reasons (those are the ones I especially love to tweak and free!)
you are fantastic at channeling inspiration around the goddess... but who so ever shall bring this same energy forth for the god ??
do you know such a being that presents the god man in his beauty and sensuality as divine masculine??
what parts of us find that hard to access and why it this so ??
i wholeheartedly support the revelation of the sensual and godly masculine to the world, free man!!!
these images come from the heart of god/dess...as divine mother and father...they want nothing from anyone but come in purity and unconditionality... not to turn people on, but to reveal the beauty of the human being in his/her fullness. all that we are in truth give permission for the innocent heart, mind and spirit to rebirth through the sacred human form.....oooh

posted in Fluid Relationships - 1 reply

Seeking queer triads for research!

2007-09-22T22:12:56Z

My name is Sunny. I am a graduate student in the Sexuality Studies program at San Francisco State University. I am conducting research on polyamory. The aim of my study is to explore how individuals in queer polyamorous triads discuss love in their relationships. I am in search of individuals in queer, long-term (one year or longer), polyamorous triads to interview. Individuals must identify themselves and their relationships as queer, and the triads must be three people who are all sexually and romantically involved with one another.

Participating in this study will entail a 45-90 minute one-on-one interview at a comfortable and private location convenient for both of us to discuss your experiences and feelings of love while in a triad.

If you are currently in a queer, long-term (one year or longer), triad relationship and are interested in participating in the study, please contact me!

smnordmarken@yahoo.com
(415) 516-0908

I am currently seeking people to interview! Please contact me as soon as possible if you would like to participate.

Thank you!
Sunny

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

changing the "rules"

2007-08-28T00:10:00Z

I am struggling, I have always been free spirited about my sexuality, but my partner of many years, has desired to have other lovers, even though he adores me. He is the love of my life, and I have limited his desires, but recently have said, go ahead, explore. I am having so many emotions. I am fine about exploring our sexuality in festival, or if something presents while we are away from one another, on vaca, or retreat, etc. He is actively searching sex ads for fun, I must either accept this as part of the relationship, and learn how to manage my acceptance without resentment, or withholding, I am withholding sex at this time, due to confusion and ambivalence. We are not congruent in this realm, hard to manage. My sexuality has changed a great deal, due to illness, and healing, and I am not as "free" to love others as I might have been in the past.
Advice, suggestions, from any who have been in this situation of differing wants/needs, Peace, HeronDancer

posted in Fluid Relationships - 3 replies

New Tribe Forming: Sensual DO Buddies

2007-08-27T16:20:14Z

Hi there,

I am forming a new tribe, for those of us looking specifically to discuss techniques of expanded orgasm, Morehouse DOing, Deliberate Orgasm, Orgasmic Meditation, G-spot Massage, Sensual Massage, and Sexological Bodywork.

Out of this, people can hopefully find partners for practice. Either one-way or two-way giving and receiving, and, no strings attached. Could be one time only, or, lead to more.

Here's the link: http://tribes.tribe.net/sensualdobuddies

Please come check us out if you are looking for practice partners, and introduce yourself.

Warmly, Patti

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

Burgeoning into Fluidity

2007-08-25T00:33:17Z

I'm here because I've been on a path toward a different type of relationship for a while now and I'm actually getting there.

I'm very happy that I'm doing so with an absolutely amazing woman whom I love and adore.

We've talked about nearly every possibility, every direction we could take it, the directions we are avoiding and the ones that we need to feel good about the experience.

Now we get to the grit of the reality. We have a wonderful relationship, honest effective communication, we are helping one another perpetuate the dreams and passions that we have. We have very different interests and curiosities in some regards of our lives. We are finding that we are inspired by other people in ways that we do not inspire one another very much. We've agreed that there is a lot of potential in opening ourselves to possibilities outside of monogomy, we've also agreed that it is terrifying in some regards.

So off we go to burning man, we've decided not to camp together this year. I'm sure we'll spend a lot of time together, but we both need to get out there more on our own in many ways. This is a great opportunity for that, the tricky part comes in the potential for us to experiment with new people sexually, both on individual levels and together. Of course all kinds of emotions come up, jealousy being the biter of the bunch.

I'll admit, we're letting it all hang out and one way or another we both get to learn a great lesson. I'm optimistic, so is she.

I don't know if I'm asking for advice or what. I just thought I'd put it out there and find out what people have to say. Does this resonate with anyone else?

posted in Fluid Relationships - 6 replies

Polyamory in the News

2007-08-24T02:24:30Z

Four upcoming poly books and one movie... some knockout mainstream media coverage... bi/poly internet dating... the most-read poly site's creator speaks out on toolkits and courage.... open marriage revisited... NASA considers relationships in a can of people flying to Mars....

This and more has been happening at Polyamory in the News: http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/ . If you haven't been checking, here's what awaits:

** Behind the scenes at TV shows good and bad, with advice.

** Poly and the uncomfortable reality of sex in space.

** Four how-to books are in the works, and Dossie Easton talks about the Ethical Slut movie.

** Open marriage, and handling jet fuel in a horse-and-buggy era.

** When you meet a "F*kcing Growth Opportunity."

** Polygamy roundup: from traditional African awfulness, to by-the-book Mormons showing how good PR is done.

** Audio interview with Franklin Veaux. "Love does *not* conquer all, because love is an emotional state. An emotion by itself is not a plan of action. You wouldn't use love to try to solve your business problems. So why would you use love to try to solve your relationship problems?"

** Miss Manners advises newspaper readers on how to invite a poly family to your child's confirmation.

** Your birth family's unspoken secrets: "Rare is the person in a long-term monogamous relationship who hasn't been attracted to another. Seeing others apparently having their cake and eating it too -- although it's not really quite that simple -- can arouse sleeping resentment...."

** Poly Pride on Swedish TV.

** Arriving at polyamory by the swinging route.

** Advice columns. Is lesbian poly harder? And more...

Here's the site: http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/ . The 10 most recent items are up front.
The July archive:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2007_07_01_polyinthemedia_archive.html
The June archive:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2007_06_01_polyinthemedia_archive.html
The May archive:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2007_05_01_polyinthemedia_archive.html

If you're a member of LiveJournal, here's an LJ feed:
http://syndicated.livejournal.com/polymedia

I've done 141 of these reports in the last two years. Browse by category or by month. Have fun!

Alan

(...who's always looking for news leads. If you see something good that I miss, please write me: alan7388 [at] comcast [dot] net.)

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

My Situation

2007-08-20T06:28:47Z

I've been in a wonderful, loving, monogamous relationship for 6 years. Just about a month and a half ago my girlfriend began having an affair w/ another man.. I feel totally disrespected only because we had an agreement to be monogamous. I'm definitely not closed minded to having an open relationship and sharing our love w/ others, but that wasn't our arrangement at the time. We are still in love with eachother and she is still seeing this other guy.. She moved out about 3 weeks ago.. I've already started meeting other wonderful women.. I want to continue our relationship without the monogamous commitment, but am having difficulty because of her dishonesty... Can anyone shoot me a few words of wisdom on this one.. Much Love : )

posted in Fluid Relationships - 9 replies

Handling intensity

2007-08-13T17:27:35Z

So what do you do if you have a casual hook-up with the boyfriend of one of your closest friends....and things start to get really intense?
Any boundaries/ regulations that people follow?

posted in Fluid Relationships - 3 replies

Our Kinky New Website for SF

2007-08-09T05:21:51Z

We were really excited and wanted to share the cool visual.
www.thedeliciousparty.com

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

Perceptional Semantics

2007-08-07T01:44:11Z

This concept came up is a conversation yesterday and I thought that it would be an interesting idea to bring up for discussion on some of the tribes I'm on.

To me the term 'Perceptional Semantics' refers to how a person perceives, reacts and communicates based on their personal experiences, biases, and mental/psychological attitudes.

Recently I've been finding it quite useful to try and understand these factors when trying to communicate with others and trying to understand how they are perceiving what I say and the situations I describe in a completely different way than I do (and expect them to), so that I can try and reconcile those differences to be able to communicate clearly with them.

But my intent here is to open up the discussion floor for any and all experiences, thoughts, and musings on this concept to see wher it goes and what we might find in our explorations.

(I've posted this on a couple of other tribes as well to see what'll come up from different social groups)

posted in Fluid Relationships - 3 replies

Marin Tidal Hot Springs: Happening, but Going Fast!

2007-07-29T00:31:36Z

For those who have heard of the Marine County Tidal Hot Springs, but have never been: Yes they are real. I just went this morning and they're in fantastic shape! Unfortunately they will become rarer soon, so if you may want to visit them soon (like the next few days).

The springs are most easily reached by 'goat' trail near Steep Ravine Environmental Campground, located about 1/4 mi. south of Red Rock Beach, which is about 2.5 mi. south of Stinson Beach. Most of the time (i.e. >99%) the springs are covered by the Pacific Ocean, and they only happen during extreme low tides (i.e. when the tides are less than '0' foot mean-tide). These extreme low tides occur only during certain days (normally around New Moon and Full Moon). Summer and Winter have more extreme tides than Fall and Spring, and the Winter Storms often swamp the springs with high waves, no matter how low the tides get. Therefore Summer is the best Soaking Season.

Sadly, the 2007 Summer Soaking Season is almost over, and opportunities are getting rarer.

The good news is that we're in the middle of one of the last extreme-tide 'cycles' of the season. So the next Hot Springs will occur very early tomorrow (Sunday) morning, starting at ~4:15 AM (when the tide falls to '0' feet). The tide will then continue to fall to 0.9 ft. at 5:56 AM, and the springs will keep getting hotter. It will remain hot until the rising tide brings the waves, which will probably occur shortly before 9:00 AM (when the tide rises to almost 1 ft. above '0' mean tide).

The next day (Monday) everything will occur about 50 minutes later. The next day the it wil happen again, but not as much. By the end of the week the 'cycle' will be over. There are a few low tides in August, though they won't be as deep as tomorrow or Monday.

If this interests you feel free t reply and I'll send directions. Realistically, it's probably not a good idea for you to try to hike down the (very steep) trail to the springs in the pre-dawn dark unless you're hiking with someone experienced. Once you've been shown the way, there's no problem. Nevertheless, it's best to follow someone else the first time. Also: Wear long pants and closed-toe shoes and/or socks (there's poison oak on the path -- no need to spoil you experience by getting stung :-)

We'll be going tomorrow (Sunday) morning, so if any of you want to ride with us or caravan in your own vehicle, just email and we can make arrangements.

Hope you find this info useful.

Happy Soaking!

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

Loving Wife for Sexy Joyfull Tantra Poly Fidelity Family in USA (35810) ---> Lets Connect Today!

2007-07-18T19:36:38Z

Greetings New Friends/Family!

We are a joyfull sexy Tantra Poly Fidelity Family here in
Huntsville Alabama 35810

We are seeking a new Wife(s) to share our love and life
in this poly fidelity family of living spirit!

Must be Fit, Healthy, d/d free, Positive-No Drama
and Love Love Love Tantra-Conscious Living!

If you are longing for a truely conscious family full of love fun and joy
that is long term, write us an email and let us know what you interest are.

All Super Mothers with Children are welcome, (we have children also!)
Lets build a lasting Friendship and create a wonderful conscious family together!
Light and Love!
Larry and Alberta

PS
if you would like to connect with us directly today,
please send us an email with your interests and some
pictures of you to atkinsonlarry@yahoo.com

posted in Fluid Relationships - 1 reply

Hearts Desire

2007-07-18T19:35:29Z

My morning day keeping has jumped to new levels. I'm posting this evry day on my website, www.gfc.uk.net. The site is developing with new content added fairly regularly, there's certainly a lot in the pipe line, so please visit, if you like what you find please feed back to me. It's very organic and happening in 'Indian Time', but I'm sure you've noticed, there's quite some download going on these days. Anyway, thought I'd share my reflections with the Tribe kin and if I don't make it here daily, I do on the website, hope it inspires.

Limi. Cosmic 6. Kin 30: White Self-Existing Dog

Does life reflect the form of your hearts desire? What is changing to bring the experience of your life into the measure of your hearts desire? Limi moving through the third chakra experiences life's flow and the constancy of change. Self-existing Dog measures loyalty. Give your loyalty to your hearts desire first. Then give your love to life and then open your heart with others. The symbols of our dream are our own. Life grants us the freedom to dream our own dream. It can be shocking to discover that your deepest desires are the essence of your belonging. Be your longing.

posted in Fluid Relationships - 1 reply

Ideas for Contemporary Morality Story / Fine Art Photo Shoot

2007-07-18T19:33:57Z

I need your help - your brainstormed ideas . . .

I am starting to organize a story that is a morality play or sorts for my 6 year old Godson, whom I coparent. It will include a yound man setting off in the world and encountering archetypal beings and situations that engage him and end up teaching him somthing essential about living a fulfilling life. the main character will be discussing these situations and beings with a wise person from time to time. I am an artist. You can see some of my work on my profile pics. I will be doing a photo shoot (B&W infrareds) for every chapter in the story. I will be compiling the story and images into a small, hand bound book. I'l make about 100 editions of the book.

What I need help on is the story:
* What do you think the most important things are to learn and integrate to live a fulfilling life?
* What are the best ways to deal with disapointment and loss, with death?
* What are the most essential archetypal situations that teach us the most about living a fulfilling life?
* What archetypal characters teach us the most about living a connected, passionate, and loving life?
* What situations would you create to teach the main Character the foundations of a connected, passionate, and loving life?

Any ideas will be most appreciated.

~ Daniel

posted in Fluid Relationships - 1 reply

My Men Will Do What You Tell Them!

2007-07-13T09:36:32Z

My Men Will Do What You Tell Them!

Good boys!

Male Sex Slaves For Women
http://tribes.tribe.net/sexslaves

The rules they've agreed to:

All males in this group must follow the sexual commands of the women in the group that are within a 50-mile driving distance. If she says, “come over to my place and take off your clothes”, you do so even if she wants you to get naked in front of a room full of people. If she says, “give me a massage and then lick my pussy”, you do so. If she rolls over and says, “now, lick my butt”, you do so. If she says, “pleasure my friend,” you pleasure her friend.

Within this group only the females are allowed to make any kind of sexual requests or offers. Male slaves must have a picture of yourself in your profile and it also must contain your location. These rules do not apply to the women in the group.

There is also a private "Male Sex Slaves for Women" tribe set up for women, and the males at this site are also their sex slaves.

This Tribe is strictly set up for free exchanges. Fem-doms offering services that are tied to “financial domination” will have their advertisements deleted. Likewise any other advertisements for pay such as for pay porn-sites, professional dating services, professional strippers (male or female), etc. will be deleted.

Nothing involving pain, poop, minors, or that is unsafe is required of our male sex slaves, but all safe and sane sexual commands from our women are mandatory for men to stay in the tribe. Have fun!

Male Sex Slaves For Women
http://tribes.tribe.net/sexslaves

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

The Grapevine- Raisin' Heaven- tee hee hee

2007-07-08T00:12:41Z

Yo Dreamers, Lovers, Be-livers:

Here's the latest on spreadin' the Good Word. Let's rise-up- So, check out this in-house mix, and feel free to send it out everywhere; muah- you're all so beautiful: www.youtube.com/watch

Love and Gratitude,

Tasi

posted in Fluid Relationships - 2 replies

Looking for connections in Long Island

2007-06-22T23:51:27Z

Hi Y'all,

I am new to this tribe and am heading to Huntington, LI for the last two weeks of July. I will be with my conservative family and am looking to connect with some alternatively minded folks for a little fun on the town. I love the North Shore and am SO looking forward to the feel of the warm night air on my skin. I would love to share some time over a glass of wine, fine dining, dancing, yoga class, maybe go out on a boat, and enjoy the summer weather with a lovely man, woman or couple.

Anyway, I thought I would just put it out here to see what interesting people might cross my path. May be a long shot. But I am hopeful to find some groovy folks this year.

xxoo
Deb

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

Please allow me to introduce myself!

2007-06-15T06:09:44Z

Hi,
Grace Pleasure Phoenix here.
I just recently embraced this name as my way of presenting to the world, so I like writing it out in full, you can call me Grace or Pleasure or Phoenix.
Just wanted to say hi.

I'm in an open relationship with a twist.

I have coined this relationship as a som/Dub realationship, because of the resemblance to a more commonly known style of relating referred to as Dominant and submissive, or D/s, but as I said with a twist!

I like the idea that this tribe promotes and will be curious to see what everyone here is offering and sharing and experiencing.

It is my desire to be more fluid in my realationship with my Beloved Sir, though I have requested that he guide me in my sexplorations at this time, which is an interesting approach to say the least.
It suits me for where I am right now in my life, though he is benevolent in His Dominance and allows for that which serves us both, ultimately.

I hope to meet some like-minded spirits and bodies as I embark on this new journey.

So welcome to me, and thanks for being here.

His Pleasure, Your Grace

posted in Fluid Relationships - 5 replies

Questions of the Serpent

2007-06-07T11:49:21Z

Seli. Crystal 9. Red Overtone Serpent....

"Already the new Galactic Spin moves into its second harmonic, "Galactic Store: Remember the Elegance of Integrity". Naturalness is beautiful and there rests our integrity also. The instinctual will of the life force presses against the morality of social, civil and religious rules and laws. The masks of pretence bound us in the confines of conformity. Within the cellular and energetic resonance of our being is the memory of all we have been and all that we are. What will you radiate into the space of your day. Pretence will blind us to the opportunity that the space holds for us. Naturalness will allow us to repond to the opportunity that life presents and there sits the truth of our response-ability.

Life is wholly sexual. To move freely in the stream of livingness is to be an integrous expression of the eros of the life force. As human beings, our physical bodies are truly wondrous and a source of magnificent potentials to experience pleasure. Yet it remains apparent that sex and sexuality are shrouded in the fog of social, civil and religious correct behaviours.

Sex is natural, it is beautiful, remember also that sex is sacred.

Your sexual experience will be carried to new dimensions".

Would new attitudes about self response-ability handle the difficulties encountered in polyamoury?

Comment copied from my daily posting of 'day references page' of my site www.gfc.uk.net. please take a look and share your feedback with me.
Sunfeather

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

Please come and join the new Poly-Couplery tribe!

2007-06-05T02:10:43Z

Hey folks, I just created a tribe called Poly-Couplery. It's for people like me and my boyfriend who are poly and consciously trying to date, fall in love, and overall be connected to other poly people....but as a couple. We'd LOVE for you to be part of this tribe! Yay!
tribes.tribe.net/polycouplery

posted in Fluid Relationships - 2 replies

Rules or not?

2007-06-01T03:26:49Z

I know this has been hashed out in many threads.......When rules have been set up in a "fluid/open relationship" onces that both agree to....why is it that they can so easily be twisted and turned and completely broken when the need arises.....to fit the occasion, so to speak.....and when is enough enough? I'd love to hear what you all have to say.....

posted in Fluid Relationships - 39 replies

6/01 Primal "Pulse" queer/trans erotic party, in SF

2007-05-30T20:07:56Z

Reminder - It's this Friday.

This is a mixed energy event. Wide range of ages (18+) and queerness (bi, trans, gender queer, leather, etc). A unique event, open to any non-mainstream (hetero-normative) sexuality. We also transform the venue.

- -
Primal "Pulse"

A Private, Queer Erotic Party
Hosted by Iain & Angela of EduKink

Friday, June 1, 2007, 8 pm – 1 am
SF Citadel, 1277 Mission Street, at Ninth Street
$20 per person

The Primal parties are alternative sexuality parties for queer and queer-friendly adults, celebrating all genders, orientations, and preferences.

You must be on the invitation list to attend. Anyone 18 or older with a positive, personal interest in celebrating sexuality in all its flavors, colors, shapes, and expressions, may apply at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/EduKink-Erotic-Events

Strict Dress code. Basics:
- Ordinary street clothes not permitted.
- Red sexy attire admired, but not required.
- Trans folk may dress as they please.

Featuring live music by Cuir Bleu
(CuirBleu.com)

Feel the pulse … .. low beat of the drum … .. feel it throbbing in your veins … .. the rhythm of sex … ..
… .. the pulse … .. … .. pulse … .. … .. pulse … .. … .. Feel it.

For more information, see http://EduKink.org/Primal

Do not forward this message to other lists without permission.

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

Does this REALLY exist?

2007-05-25T16:10:39Z

Hi all...

I joined this tribe because I have always been a believer in enjoying relationships as they are, allowing them to be whatever they will be, and letting them pass when they move on - my definition of "fluid relationships". But does this really exist? It seems people have this need to always cling to something - whether it be a person, a definition, a label, etc. I'm not sure what. And I've never actually run across anyone who really does this.

So, is there anyone out there who can prove me wrong? Please do.

posted in Fluid Relationships - 4 replies

A New Tribe

2007-05-21T20:25:02Z

The following is an explanation of a new tribe to be found at: http://tribes.tribe.net/sexualprofiling

This group is aimed at looking at the fluidity of human sexuality toward creating a fluid sexual profile, something like a Myers Briggs personality profile for our sexual identities. While it is helpful to be able to talk about our sexual ratios, we do not want to get in the sort of sixteen boxes of many personality profiles. So we start with questions. How do we create fluidity? And what are the important markers of our sexuality?

Is gender identity important? Where do you fall on the masculine feminine continuum in your identity? Is this a single measure?

Is gender preference important? Do you prefer men or women? This is probably not a single measure. What are its component parts?

Is intimacy an aspect of sexuality? To what degree do you seek emotional or even spiritual transcendence over simple physicality?

Where do you fall on the continuum of monogamy?

What is the nature and context of your fantasies?

What do these ratios say about our sexuality and how do they relate to who we are beyond the sexual realm, if indeed there is anything beyond the sexual realm.

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

Dating or being single? Be positive and you will win your love!

2007-05-19T01:37:10Z

Dear,

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posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

member 1000

2007-05-17T19:46:34Z

fluid relationship love without labels girl
glad to be a part of this tribe!

posted in Fluid Relationships - 3 replies

Former Bisexual Rejects Labels

2007-05-11T17:51:20Z

http://fakegaynews.com/index.php/2006/08/trendy-bisexual-now-trendy-vegan/

posted in Fluid Relationships - 1 reply

Projections

2007-04-25T17:26:00Z

I keep wondering what makes something a projection vs not?
Are there types of projections? Can projections be avoided in a relationship? Is it possible at all or is this implicitly in human nature and it will always be there at some level or another unless one renounces and becomes a Sadhu?

Any examples, insights??

In particular, I am interested in "shadow projection". Have done reading and understainding of this. Would love to hear from you folks.

posted in Fluid Relationships - 28 replies

Looking to do massages with females in ABQ

2007-04-15T19:55:56Z

Subject says it all. Im not a massage therapist but I do like to give massages

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

ISO post on the history of love & marriage....

2007-04-03T07:46:14Z

It goes through the changes love and marriage have gone through this early recorded time.

Can someone help me??

Thanks in advance,

D

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

Looking to trade massage in LA with a nice girl, or maybe a naughty one..

2007-03-29T06:05:17Z

Hi there, I'm looking for an open minded woman that might want to trade massages and see what happens after that. It's a crazy place this city of angels where a nice guy like me can't even give it away :)

Before you say anything, no I am not desperate, yes I know how to talk to women. I really think this town is just F'd up in so many ways that men and women are simply not getting it together to the degree that they should be. I travel all over the world and I believe this is the hardest place to hook up, period.

Peace,
Gary

posted in Fluid Relationships - 1 reply

When 2 R 1-

2007-03-25T20:54:04Z

Since I can remember (age 5) sexuality has been a large part of my life. I'll spare you the numerous stories of youthful passion and exploration. What's pertinent to this bit of past is the dreaming path that is re-birthed 4 me in every moment revolving around another body of passion and bliss. Sexuality comes in different forms (thank goddess) and varying degrees. Mine is intensely passionate. The 1 thing I prefer 2 do more than play with my instruments is to play with the body. At about age 15 I visioned the entaglement of blissful passion with another. I could see it/ feel it. An eternal dance of the moment which can barely b conveyed through images much less words. Like electrons sharing the same nucleous- moving in balance and harmony. Like spherical magnets that spin endlessly around a shared axis. Kissing- ever kissing. Touching- all limbs moving with mindless passionate precision.... caressing the face of lover, coarsing the hair in mid-kiss and thrust, traveling all continents of the body with both hands- use both hands. Such balance of mutual initiation and response of lips and tongues keeping both mouths from departure, gazing-probing eyes with eyes and sighs as hips dance with thighs and ties us together-

This has been my fantasy, my dream- not glued to physical appearance, but rather to harmonious movement (of independent initiative) and the never-ending, always ecstatic kiss-

Well- after 25+ years and much more than 25+ partners- she came 2 me- with me-

Now, I am a little confused. I have searched this dream- much of the time thinking it was an almost but not quite dream of reality-
With all my lovers (whom I love each and every) I have never experienced such n0-mind bliss and harmony- I was overwhelmed-
I be-life in true love- no rules, no expectations, etc... that remains, and now I have gained these questions 4 any with insight-

Have you known what I am speaking of? and Did you ever find another lover with such harmony?
Now, b4 you begin your discourse, I am quite aware and thankful of the differences between lovers. This is not a question of the appreciation of diversity- this is a rare and exotic bird of fluid harmony- Have you found such a balance in another lover?

posted in Fluid Relationships - 9 replies

Hey New Holiday Today

2007-03-15T20:39:16Z

Just saw this and wanted to share...
hope you all have a great day or
can now plan for next year.

cheers
revv

http://www.steakandablowjobday.com/index.html

posted in Fluid Relationships - 3 replies

Florida Poly Retreat - This Weekend!

2007-03-12T12:10:27Z

Florida Poly Retreat starts this Thursday!! We're so excited...

While general registration is now closed, day passes are still
available for purchase. You can pre-register for either Friday and/or
Saturday for $35 per person. You can also do a 'walk-in' by just
showing up and purchasing a day-pass onsite. However, we do appreciate pre-registrations so that we can plan better - and you get a nifty pre-printed name badge and can use PayPal to pay with a credit card (we can't accept credit cards onsite). Please do pre-register if you can.

http://www.floridapolyretreat.com

Also, we do have a couple of last minute cancellations that we can't
refund, but they can be resold by the original owner. Currently,
there's an offsite 3-day pass that includes meals (that can be
'upgraded' to camping) and a camping 3-day pass. If you missed the cut-off for general registration and were interested in attending the entire event - let me know and I'll get you in touch with the original purchaser to arrange a direct sale.

If you're considering stopping by and doing a walk-in day pass, here is a page we set up with specific information to help make it easier:

http://www.floridapolyretreat.com/walkin.htm

You'll find the schedule, directions to UU in the Pines, consent forms
as well as the retreat rules.

Hope to see you soon at FPR!
- Cherie

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

what about kids???

2007-02-19T01:14:21Z

i'm exploring more fluid relations and in-joying the discoveries.
i am a bit stumped on balancing this dance as a conscious single mother of a two year old boy.
any words of wisdom?!?

posted in Fluid Relationships - 12 replies

Looking For Single Women In NJ ... psst sorry for the selfish blog

2007-02-14T00:31:15Z

~~Hey hey, looking for some fun, and companionship, check out my bio for details and photos. dont be be shy Im real easy going, drop me an message if you're interested. relationship potential if deep connections are made. 18-35 ish age may aswell be a blank lable, it cant descibe its own contents.

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

The Seven Natural Laws of Love

2007-02-10T04:08:28Z

My new book, The Seven Natural Laws of Love, is about letting love flow. When love flows, relationships are fluid. This is the yoga of love. You can read a sample chapter at www.sevenlawsoflove.com
Aloha,
Deborah Taj Anapol

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

This looks interestting...

2007-01-29T16:27:44Z

Indeed it does...

After many a failed attempt at the "Fairy Tale" bullshit thing, I have become convinced that the ideal of Love that lasts forever with the same person is of course some pie in the sky bull story.

That "true love thing" is just a mutually accepted lie that two people believe for a short time together.

So thie Idea of people who get this, and somehow make it work for them is interestting indeed.

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

hi from chicago

2007-01-27T07:09:52Z

any one from chicago?

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

needs

2007-01-21T14:25:39Z

What does your partner or partners need to do to meet your needs?
Are your being met, and if not, how do you make that happen? I guess the other question is, how do you identify what your needs in the relationship are?

posted in Fluid Relationships - 29 replies

fluidity and fear

2007-01-19T05:54:34Z

just a quick thought...

how do you all feel about, or navigate, fear and emotional insecurity?

i know i have worked hard (and am still working...) to overcome
my very inhibiting default for security and invulnerability...
control and emotional bondage
rather than openness and honesty...

my deep fear of abandonment has often impeded my own very
natural fluid flow. tripping me over myself.

and further more, when we recognize in a beloved, the same
tendancy to 'shoot oneself in the foot' and sabataugue the opportunity
of true love, intimacy and trust, out of fear of being hurt... fear of the 'end'
and risk an even greater loss, that of never beginning.

how do you all approach these hurts and fears in yourselves and
those whom you would love?

posted in Fluid Relationships - 27 replies

activity partner in kuala lumpurr

2007-01-15T09:04:25Z

hi all!
looking for any lady for nice company for sex and joy.If anyone is around plzz reply it will be
a mind blowing and fun filled experience.

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

Share your beauty, free the world

2007-01-09T04:05:48Z

This is something I wrote that speaks to the idea that what we focus on and make a conscious choice to honor and value can become a reality. Enjoy! Blessings, Rainbow Weaver.

Share your beauty; free the world

It is a splendid spring day. One of those warm afternoons with just the slightest refreshingly warm breeze blowing. You an I have just finished our run in the park. We are walking on the edge of the park by the river talking an laughing. As we pass a large oak tree we turn right and enter the park.

The park is busy, but not crowded. There are people playing volleyball and Frisbee with their dogs. Families are setting up barbecues and putting out the potato salad. On the ground we see the familiar silver and gold colored coins. They are scattered about everywhere. In some places there are many and in others there are only a few. We find a beautiful quiet space by a large elm tree and sit down.

Time seems to have stood still and the sounds of the park drift away as we talk. Soon, our lips meet as we gently lay down together. Our embrace deepens and soon we very slowly remove each others clothes. Very slow very calm and quiet we enter a deep peace as we gently stroke each others hair and bodies. The sweat from our run now gently cools us in the warm spring breeze. Soon we are gently rocking each other in a deep and soulful moment of passion and joy. Not a word was spoken. None were needed. Silently, breathlessly we finish. We smile broadly at each other and roll over on our backs. We lay there staring up at the clouds.

Soon we hear the sound of people gently applauding. First one, and then another. We sit up and see a dozen or so people surrounding us. Many are now clapping joyfully. A few come over and congratulate us. An older women is crying and her friend says to us "that was so beautiful!". A man in his 90's whispers to the woman standing next to him. She gently elbows him in the ribs, they both laugh and walk away hand in hand. There is a young couple sitting near us apparently taking notes!

Soon everyone in the crowd tosses several silver coins onto the ground near us. The small group then goes back to their fruit salads and tofu burgers. We linger a few moments longer and then lovingly help each other get dressed. We reach into our pockets and each of us takes out a small gold coin that we let freely fall to the spot on the ground where we just made love.

On the way out of the park we stop to see the sign above the entrance of the park. There are two kind old gentlemen there who have been walking through the park collecting the many silver and gold coins.

On one side the gold coins say:

"Love knows no limits"

And on the other it says:

"Enjoy the moment"

The two men put the coins into a machine that counts them and as they are counted the numbers on the sign at the entrance to the park now reads; "This week 1755 people enjoyed the moment"

The silver coins, and there are many many of these read on one side:

"The beauty you have created blesses us all"

The other side reads:
"Thank you for sharing your moment with us"

The silver coins are put into the machine and are counted. The other half of the sign now reads:

"This week 5961 people are grateful for the beauty shared with them"

We leave the park laughing as we see "our number" come up on gold side of the sign just as the silver side breaks 6000. We laugh loudly as we say together "springtime! ".

Continuing our conversation as though it never stopped we continue our walk by the river. We pass several other couples enjoying the moment as we joyfully toss many silver coins in their direction.

Each moment of passion and beauty helps erase the pain and violence in our world.

Be the Passion
Be the Love

Share your Beauty
With Everyone
Free the World

posted in Fluid Relationships - 2 replies

Amoration

2007-01-05T18:48:09Z

Over the last ten years I've read, researched, studied and experienced many forms of poly or fluid relationships. In discussions the word *polyamory* would confuse people as they imagined zealot polygamists from news TV stories with multiple 14 year old brides. There were so many bad ideas and misconceptions out there! Consciousness for BIG LOVE is starting to emerge, evolving mostly through our own fluidity and availability to discuss the details of how to build bonds that feel true and authentic to who we are. While looking to articulate healthy bonded relationships I wrote a script and stories about a fluid foursome+ that entangled in all of the ways that felt more familiar to me: the dance floor, social networks and work/play. In conversation we processed more and started a nonprofit creative community that allowed us to look at the bonding as an art form.

I believe that conscious bonding, dating & marriage can radically empower all of us to pursue our highest potential. When we feel free to express ourselves in relationship we are creating something LARGER THAN OURSELVES. It is these invisible systems of love that will sustain us throughout our lives -- this network we weave together is bigger than who we choose to date or kiss or allow into our lives.

AMORATION is a word rarely used, uncommon and unknown in most circles.....sad considering that the English language is completely lacking in good nomenclature for LOVE. Do we have other words in our vocabulary for THE BIGGEST UNIVERSAL LOVE THAT ENVELOPS ALL OF US? What do we call this power we have to create together?

I call it AMO. The root of love itself, the space we open within us to let the world inside. Sharing AMO, not AMMO gun shots but AMO LOVE BOMBS every time we walk, talk, eat, play. Subtle, simple, direct.....not perfect, but it's my practice, the only thing that has given me a centered approach to loving the worlds around me in real and tangible ways. Giving that AMO demonstrates truth, appreciation, acceptance, understanding and embracing that continues to grow on and on....

The fluid relationships tribe is a beautiful thing and I wanted to hear more of your vocabulary for this experience. Words like COMPERSION make perfect sense to me but there's also something else, something larger created in this open space. What do you call it?

posted in Fluid Relationships - 9 replies

Some things I have learned about relationships - from a long term survivor - HiV + over 20 years

2006-12-23T05:01:15Z

Butterfly Sunset - third rough draft

(to all the loves I have yet to meet)

Come into my world, even only for a day
Starting very soon, you won't know what to say

We'll dance and talk and dance some more
we'll cuddle real close and open the door

You'll tell me some of your secrets so pure
I will tell you mine they are harder I am sure

But the bombshell that I drop
is not an easy hear
nor can it move effortlessly
instead it usually brings fear

I will love you for who you are
But can you love all of me?
Love me from a distance
Its easier you see

For two decades now I've struggled with opening up my heart
Every new love I feel begins to come apart
Bad news, sad news, scary reality
Thats what you get when hanging out with HIV

I'm positive, yes I am sure, and AIDS I carry well
Oh, If all the stories of friends deaths I should tell

But they are gone and I am here
and being close to me usually breeds others' fear.

I know that you may never love me
in the intimate physical sense
So I will not speak carefully
or waste time in pretense

I am AIDS and AIDS is me
and I have never had my own family
My mother and father love me and my family supports my path
But I am 41 and single you can do the math

I dream of a child of my own and know its safe to be
but who will choose to get that close and help me build a family

I am used to frustration,

the intimidation
of my information

a friendly explanation
thoughts of penetration

stagnation

Don't tell me ... I already know
you have your rights
but maybe you should go

Will I get hurt, yes I will again
Another friendship I won't pretend

I dream and dream and dream of love
I can't remember sex without a glove
I can't remember kissing without "the talk"
I can't just take a new date on a romantic walk

Sometime soon I will divulge my state
my positive nature I will relate
and like most she will be inspired by me
but not want to love me intimately

I don't need your sympathy, your very real fears
I've seen them all and caught my tears
I only cry now for true loves lost
and I can't be in love without the cost

"Haven't you ever for a day
just wished your diagnosis would go away?"

I do, I do, but whats the use
I can't unleash my love
it feels like a noose

Many of my fluids reak of poison I have felt for years
I cast my own lot in celibacy and cried asleep through tears

Now I venture out to meet
newfound friends
to make me complete
and I meet a woman so very fine
I venture over the imaginary line

I let myself fall so very hard
I am in love, I played my card
but she has a son and commitments to keep
Alone once again I begin to weep

She can't love me completely, to her its a risk
I won't try to convince her
but I need her kiss

If that is too much for her to do
I may have to move on through

I don't know how many more times I can love
I don't know how many dreams I am thinking of

I am AIDS and AIDS is death
you can't ignore the fear
I honor your journey
but will miss your kiss my dear

I am alive and healthy in spite
I am strong and empowered so I write

I am sick and tired of being sick and tired
I am not inspired by what has recently transpired

Alone again alone again
so sad but totally true
I will wake up again tomorrow and
think this whole thing through

Can't be afraid to love completely
Can't be afraid to love so deeply
AIDS is real and happend to me
A part of me has actually been set free

I have had to watch as so many died
I carried their spirits, for them I tried
To never give up, always push on
They can't turn back, their spirits are gone

I bring them along when I go out to dance
I carry their memory when I take a chance
And when I need to be bold and strong
Its their wills that carry me along

I must go on to realize my dreams
Fate has me still here to accomplish it seems
More than so many of them could do
They checked out after trying through and through

Death is never a pretty path
With AIDS still the same I do the math
Still folks dying year after year
An HIV positive brother just took his life out of fear

There is no cure yet, and until that day
I must keep myself here - I've got something to say

Its not a death sentence but it changes the way
I get up each morning and start my new days
I know that there is something much bigger than me
That I must accomplish and let myself be
A man with some vision, a story to share
Listen hard now and learn if you dare

I am not immune to pain
when I love someone it doesn't feel sane
I just want to kiss, to love, and to feel
that I am not venomous, dangerous and unreal

So whatever happens hold me tight
love me now and it will be alright
If you still are afraid to kiss me I understand
I will keep searching over the land

Someone to love me forever and a day
They will allow me to totally play
and risks calculated we may take together
Working through challenges of turbulent weather

I know that in my blood is my genes
with help a safe baby is a very real dream
One of my own a foil of me
I will hug them and realize they are setting me free

And I will out live the skeptic and the worrier too
Whose ignorance didn't allow them to
Hold me tight and love me for today
Cause thats all anybody has... each in our own way

I wouldn't trade it in I wouldn't change my path
I am a stronger man from the curse of this wrath
Its not a life sentence but ultimately new perspective
and the population's fears are their collective

I live in joy as the sun goes down
Knowing each day I loved and turned a smile from a frown
I am left with the vision of a butterfly
Whose short life is so blessed when they learn how to fly

by rainbow_spider

Author's Comments:
"I open a small portal into my world of being a Person Living with AIDS with some apprehension as I have been slammed and lectured when I shared a piece about this part of my life journey online before... If your ignorance makes you want to rant at me or tell me I deserve my fate than I invite you to first think how you would feel if a loved one told you this story before you post your words to me. I have been HIV+ for over 20 years... a long term survivor, I tell my story to raise awareness, compassion and understanding and to encourage folks to educate themselves and make healthy choices in new sexual situations... These words are offered not just from pain but from peace that has come from this journey that has composed my entire adult life (i am 41) I have other poems and published prose articles available to anyone... and I have a word document version of this available to anyone who feels inspired to share or pass on this piece... email me at rainbowspider222@yahoo.com "

or check me out here on tribe as Rainbow Spider

posted in Fluid Relationships - 3 replies

Keeping it safe

2006-12-20T19:35:09Z

Hmmmm....not sure how to say this except to spell it out.

I keep hearing stories about people getting genital herpes from receiving oral sex from people with cold sores.

It seems this is not an uncommon occurence. Especially since something like 75% of us get cold sores.

It occurs to me that we should start making dental dams and condoms with oral sex a part of normal play, unless we are with our fluid bonded partners.

I have never actually used a dental dam (although I bought some...) anyone have any ideas about ways to make this better? Or what is better, dental dams or saran wrap? Any ideas about condoms and oral sex with men? (Which I have found to be dry and not so hot...)

Anyone else voting to start making this trendy? (Philippe and Paget, I know that we as sexy beasts can make this a common occurence with a little promotion...)

posted in Fluid Relationships - 18 replies

introducing myself...

2006-12-20T17:51:58Z

hi!

i just want to say that I LOVE THIS TRIBE

i only just found it and i'm tickled pink, because i've
never really read a discription of anything that resembles
how i feel about romantic interaction...

poly stuff came close, but still didn't really hit it on the
nose for me, like FLUID does...

so there.

i have also just recently ventured into the realm of myspace
and while i think tribe kicks myspace's ass, i did have some fun
building that page and so i'd like to share it with y'all as well.
http://www.myspace.com/subliminalinertia

here's looking forward to all the interesting discussions
i plan on having with you all!

*muah*

Cloé

posted in Fluid Relationships - 6 replies