Fluid Relationships's topics - tribe.net

In the bedroom, is three a crowd?

Alan — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 22:42:01 GMT

A threesome can be exciting — but also disastrous for a relationship

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26059879/

posted in Fluid Relationships - 7 replies

See you at Poly Pride Weekend in NYC, Oct. 3-5...

Alan — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 15:38:47 GMT

...get the details here:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2008/09/poly-pride-day-coming-up.html

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

people get hurt

waveyoga — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 13:57:54 GMT

so my friend entered into a deep relationship with a married man. Over years supposedly his wife was more ok with it. I held back my judgment, yet it remains.

Recently they had a celebration together.. friend and man. The wife who is in another group where I am also a part, had a party for the husband. I made a mistake when talking about not being able to go.

Now everyone is MAD> At me. I should have known to nto let the wife know that I know about this partnering.. my friend and this man are openly in groups for years to gether. The wife supposedly had her own part of the house built.. but they are mad at me. Ok I am venting.

I dotn get this stuff and here is why in one way. Personally I think they are targetting me when the reality is that there are unresolved issues about who is with whom and when.. and the marriage issue. But my insight does not matter. They are mad.

posted in Fluid Relationships - 1 reply

Burning Man 2008 Hedonic Sensuous Massage Campmates

Sound Man — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 17:59:23 GMT

We are the organizers of the Burning Man 2008 Hedonic Sensuous Massage theme camp. Join us in offering sensuous massages to fellow "burners". No experience necessary. You only need to be a normally sensual person and willing to learn. We are a fun-loving group of amateur yet erotic men and women who seek the same to serve the community with an exceptional experience of a lifetime with the goal being their most enjoyable, happy, and sensuous massage ever. If interested, call Aloha and SoundMan at (775) 233-3608 and check out Aloha's myspace.com site "Aloha BRC Burner" at http://www.myspace.com/alohaburner for a complete description of our previous years' camps. We will be located at Gemini and 4:30

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

Out of Ideas and Going Down Fast

Angel_Wylde — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 20:33:15 GMT

*sigh* alright, here's the deal. I'm generally one of the ones giving the advice, I'd hope well. This time though, I'm at the end of my rope. I don't know what to do to deal with this situation, and if I don't ask for some help soon there's the possibility I will handle things totally wrong.

Reading my profile and such, you get the impression that my wife and I are very open people. The fact is, this is only half... well let's call it 3/4 true.

I love my girl. I love her like the Sun come down from the sky. That said, there is a growing rift starting which unless I get it checked one way or the other is gonna do us in. I'll explain.

While I've got alot of history in sex-positivity, deviant behavior in general. It has historically been almost impossible for me to maintain a sheerly vanilla monogamous relationship. I think it's important to note (not trying to be egotistical) that if I set my mind to it, I am almost razor sharp at seduction. I spent 2 years as a pleasure slave, learning everything from how to do makeup on any ethnicity in the world to bringing a woman to orgasm with nothing but the muscles vibrating in my throat. (hard to explain, harder to teach. lol) I mention it's easy, because it being easy makes the entire situation harder.

Linz, while having her own wild side in her youth was more along the lines of your typical drug-induced deviant-high-school-sex kinda thing. To her, while she indulged me more than once, that was a phase she's done with. My first hot-button here is that due to that fact it's terribly difficult to deal with the fact that she can't share in what has been my lifestyle in one way or another for a loooong long time.

I'm starting to freak out, juuuust a little. I've toned myself down as much as I could. I've suppressed everything from my very certain bisexuality to my tenancy toward the Grey area that lies somewhere between polyamoury and swinging. This has been an issue between us for quite some time. In the beginning, Linz was down for the occasional playtime with a guy/girl/both kinda thing. Still, it came up quite a bit that I'm comfortable in quite a different zone relationship wise than we're currently at.

In the past, jabs were traded, but short of that no resolution was really reached. Time goes by, I keep quiet until I'm about to explode, I try and draw her out, it gets swept under the rug, repeat.

The reason this is more complex than a simple resolve-communicate-or-leave kind of scenario is that in every way... EVERY WAY other than this we're perfectly matched. No deviant encounter has ever led me to a girl I felt as well matched with.

Still, this is my life, this is my personality. I feel resentment growing as I continue to deny this part of my personality, this part of myself.

I've tried to discuss this with people before, most notably my best friend. She commenced to freak out on me due to a year-old threesome we'd all had, and we're now no longer friends.

Just pointing out, that so far all this situation has done for me is take. It's taking my sanity bit by bit. I'm getting a shorter and shorter fuze about the subject, and it's even cost me one of the most important relationships in my life.

In the past, I would just start cheating. You can judge me all you like for that. To me, it's a matter of getting by. However, as you can probably imagine that leads to eventual discovery and disaster. I've been down this road a few times with significant others. Cheating or no, this will eventually overwhelm us.

I just don't know what to do, or to say, to anyone. I could continue the way I am and wait until it's too much and I wrap myself around someone who gets the one part of me my partner doesn't. I could put my foot down and what will likely happen is she will aquiese, at least occasionally, just for my sake, for awhile. Neither of those options are really acceptable to me, but for the life of me I can't find a third.

So I put it to you, perfect strangers. My friends have failed me. My almost macchiavellian ability to agument any relationship with it's missing parts elsewhere is just not good enough for me anymore.

I'm lost. No solution in the past will work here, and I'm fresh out of ideas. I'm frustrated to the point of rage, and feel the time coming where I will sabotage anything just to save something. If linz is part of that everything I may as well fall on my sword right now.

It's maddening, to match someone so perfectly in all but one way.

Especially when it's this.

PS: I'm cross posting this like mad, so you may see it again. I need an idea, an answer. Hope for my situation. Otherwise, I'm not exactly sure I won't become ground zero, and everyone left in my life become casualties.

posted in Fluid Relationships - 16 replies

The demise of the lipstick lesbian

Alan — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 07:04:04 GMT

http://www.villagevoice.com/nyclife/0825,triumph-of-the-lipstick-lesbians,471456,15.html/full

posted in Fluid Relationships - 1 reply

Three new poly/ open marriage books

Alan — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 22:15:30 GMT

I've written reviews of the three new (and very different) polyamory and open marriage books that have just come out:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2008/06/three-new-poly-books.html

They are
*The Polyamory Handbook* by Peter J. Bensen
*Open* by Jenny Block
*Opening* Up by Tristan Taormino

Enjoy.

Alan M.

posted in Fluid Relationships - 1 reply

Jealousy and Curiosity

Michelle — Mon, 12 Mar 2007 16:20:14 GMT

So I feel like the concept of open relatioships, polyamory, etc. are fantastic. MY problem is that I am FAR too jealous to deal with it or get involved in anything like this. My jalousy stems from feeling like there would be nothing 'special' about me and also fear of losing my partner.
Did any of you start like this (at least with the jealousy part) or did you come to this lifestyle ready and rearing to go?
I keep thinking that this is something I want to try in the future, but I know I am not ready now. Its frustrating to want something and be the one stopping yourself from achieving it at the same time.

Also, do any of you have tips on how you became less jealous? I would love to hear your experience as well.
Thanks.

posted in Fluid Relationships - 89 replies

HONOR THE WOMEN IN YOUR POLY POD by Sasha Lessin, Ph.D.

Sasha (Alex) — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 23:17:37 GMT

HONOR THE WOMEN IN YOUR POLY POD by Sasha Lessin, Ph.D.

Here's one of the ways we play with our group of intimate lovers. We suggest you try it with yours. PolyWannabes, create group, rehearse. Let us know how your Honor the Goddess group goes.

Give yourself an evening for each woman, or a whole day to do each
woman in your lovegroup. Then let us on this site share our results
and develop love rituals from our collective sharing.

In a beautiful, peaceful, private space, gather the women in your
poly pod.

Ask one woman to volunteer as the first focus of this pattern. Each
woman takes a turn as the group's focus.

PREPARE YOURSELF AND THE SPACE FOR WOMAN WORSHIP

Givers, clean your nails. Brush your teeth afresh. If you're male
and clean-shaven, shave again; if you've a beard, shampoo it.

Dress to please the Receiver. Find food, drink, flowers and music
she'll like. Arrange the room to delight and relax her. Create a
large, padded lovenest. Place water, towels, massage oil and
internal lubricant next to the bed. Invite her to bathe while you
disconnect phones and adjust the lighting and music.

When she returns from the bath, each of you meet her gaze. Make eye-
contact with her as you adore her together.

Each of you say, in your own words--but poetic ones,"I appreciate
this opportunity to please and replenish you.

"May we undress you and see your body?" As you do, laud her looks
aloud. Then all of you disrobe too.

DEDICATE TOUCH TO PERSONAL AND UNIVERSAL HEALING

Invite her to lie down. Touch your right palms to her heart and put
her right hand on your heart. Rest your left hands on the back of
her right and tell her to put her left on the hands you rest on her
heart. Look into her left eye.

Tell her, in your own words, "We delight in serving you. We love
relating this intimately. May our adoration heal hurts we caused
you. May our hearts unite. Come dance with us, your devotees. Dear
Shakti, dance at the Shrine of the Yoni Nadi. There, together, we
transcend our separate self-senses and join the divine dance of the
cosmos."

"What words, "ask her, "have you to consecrate the worship we offer
your Inner Aphrodite, your loving, sensual, sexual self.? *** [Give
her time to answer.]

MASSAGE MADONNA

Then say, "May we massage you?"

As she stretches out on her belly, tug her toes. Rub her soles and
the backs of each leg. Do her fingers, palms, arms. Then massage
her back and her bottom.

Help her turn over. Dance your fingers over the tops of her feet and
hands, the front of her arms and legs. Brush her labia and nipples
as you glide your hands over her torso. Massage her face and head.

Stroke and knead the muscles inside the leg; Kneed the inside of her
legs, where they insert into her pelvis. Press your fingers deep
into the muscles above her pubic bone.

GET CONSENT TO TOUCH HER TEMPLE

Ask her to designate one of you to touch her Love Temple.

CONNECT ALL HER CHAKRAS WITH SACRED SECTOR ENERGY

All present lay hands on her. The person she chooses, her Giver,
rests their left hand on her HEART.

Giver, hold your right hand over her yoni. Imagine you send her a
beam of love from your eyes into her left eye. Breathe together
three times; then settle your hand on her mons.

Tell her, "I love you. Feel our hearts connect and energy vibrate
between us.

"I send you love as I breathe out; breathe it in, inhale my love."
The rest of the group breathes with the Giver and Receiver. Exhale,
then draw your navel back toward your spine and up. Tighten your
pubococcygeal and anal sphincter muscles.

Imagine, Giver, you send energy up your spine from your tailbone,
through your heart and out your right hand into her yoni. When you
inhale, feel the energy you have sent her move through her heart into
your left hand. Take at least three breaths where you send this
circuit of energy.

Keep your right hand on her yoni, your eyes on hers. Move your left
hand to her CROWN. Tell her you invite the Goddess of Love to enter
her crown and move through her central channel to her yoni-shrine.
Breathe together three times.

Move your left hand to her BROW, THROAT, BELLY and BASE chakras. For
each, take three breaths. Eye-gaze and imagine you connect with her
brow, throat, heart (again), then belly, perineal and sexual
chakras. Conclude these chakra meditations (mudras) with your left
hand again on her heart.

STROKE HER SACRED SECTOR

Tell your Receiver, "Relax on your back, Sweetheart. Breathe deeply.

"Let each of us gaze into your eyes.

If you like, I'll massage, then kiss your genital drapes and the
valence over your pearl.

If she says consents, say, "Make sounds and direct us with words;
give us feedback while I lick and stroke."

Stroke her outer labia. Roll her clitoral hood around the
clitoral crown; but don't stimulate the crown yet. When her outer
vaginal lips swell, revealing the inner lips, trace circles, spirals,
horizonals, verticals, diagonals, and figure-eights on them with your
fingers. Alternate long, short, inventive, sensitive and playful
strokes. Tap, knead and pinch the hood and labia ten or fifteen
minutes.

When the inner labia also become quite swollen with blood,
say, "Would you like me to polish your pearl?" (pearl = clitoral
crown). If yes, honor her yoni with your mouth and tongue. Blow on
her genitals. Plant baby kisses on her clitoris. Twill your tongue
round the crown and lick her labia. Lap into her yoni as you
continue gazing into her eyes. Salivate generously; lubricate the
orifice.

After twenty to thirty minutes honoring her yoni, say, "I'd like to
enter your sacred cave with this (right ring) finger." If she
agrees, lick your finger so it's quite moist (or use an internal
lubricant like Probe or neem oil). Place the tip of your ring finger
pad just inside her vaginal opening. Say, "Pull my finger in."

When you feel her vaginal muscles pulsing on your finger, let her
pull your finger into her cave. Curl your finger pad inside her yoni
toward her navel then back toward her inner legs, so it rests on her
sacred sector. Breathe together and keep your hand still for ten
deep breaths while you imagine that your finger reaches inside her to
her heart.

Begin a light "come here" motion with your ring finger; let the pad
of your finger caress the tissue that covers the sacred sector.
Trace, in thirty to forty strokes, the inner surface of the top and
upper front of her cave from cervix toward the top of her cave's
opening.

Then, for forty strokes or so, turn your wrist from side to side.
Trace a crescent over the sacred sector with your finger pad.

Sweep (turn your wrist from up to down) the left half of her cave.
Skim the front of your right ring finger from the cave roof to its
floor and outside door. Remove your right ring finger and insert
your left ring finger inside her yoni. With your left ring finger,
stroke the right half of the yoni roof.

After a few minutes, change your position to ease your back and
neck. Withdraw your left ring finger from her cave, and put your
right ring finger back in. Rub, tap, and touch all over inside her
cave. Stroke different levels of pressure, depths, speeds and
rhythms. Trace the throbbing veins and, deeper, arteries. Press to
the bone in each part of her cave.

After fifteen minutes, say, "Would you like one of us to pet you with
two fingers inside?" If she consents, curl the underside of your
right middle and ring fingers together along the roof-beam of her
yoni. Move your fingers down the transom over the door and out the
yoni, with a "come here" motion.

Then focus your fingers inside her on her sacred sector. You can
feel it through the inner vaginal wall, between the wall and the
pubic bone, above the orifice. The sector feels like a bean-sized
lump that may grow to silver-dollar size as you stroke it.

Initially, when her sector's stimulated, she may think (though she's
just emptied her bladder she needs to urinate. Let her try to do so
until no urine comes out.

Unite your fingers through her lower abdomen. Press your left hand
down on her lower belly just above the pubic bone. Feel her spot
swell between these fingers on her abdomen and those in her vagina.

If you find menstrual blood on your fingers, let her know you
treasure this intimacy. Dab some on each of your chests and thank
her.

The Receiver may enjoy all the touching. Some Receivers feel
indifferent to sacred sector massage at first. Most women, however,
savor some sacred spot stroking. Remember your Receiver's pleasure
points.

If you try this exercise, or something like it, please share on this
site what you tried and how it turned out.

Learn lots more at our POLYAMORY CONFERENCE, September 12-14
Harbin Hot Springs CA.

Workshops and presentations by
Drs. Gary Schubach, Steven Vouge, Anistas Harris, Dave Doleshal,
Harold (Haridas)Kornylak, Celeste Hirshman, and Sasha Lessin,
as well as
Janet Kira Lessin, Veronica Monet, Taber Shadburne, Gabriella
Cordover, Aisha Kassaoun, Paul Glassco, Danielle Harel, Kirsten Rose,
David Spero, Robert Allen, Amber Seitz, Carolina Fleishman, Paul
Planodon and even more tba.

www.worldpolyamoryassociation.com, worldpolyamory@aol.com 808 244-
4103

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

New Wave of Polyamory Media Coverage

Alan — Sun, 18 May 2008 17:20:10 GMT

If you haven't been reading Polyamory in the News (http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/) in the last three months, here's some of what you missed:

** "Internet Pushes Polyamory to its Tipping Point". If this Wired Magazine writer is right, the bandwagon is starting to roll downhill ahead of us. Should we quit just pushing and run up and grab the steering wheel?

** Redbook, Glamour, and Marie Claire magazines -- the things your aunt reads at the hairdresser -- all offer remarkably positive profiles of open and polyamorous marriages in their June issues.

** Jenny Block, whose book on her poly life comes out in a couple weeks, becomes a columnist for the Huffington Post. She asks us for our topic suggestions.

** Time magazine devotes four pages to the bonobo culture wars (waged in the Wall Street Journal and alternative culture, not among the apes themselves). Yes, Time concludes, the critters really do have something big to teach us about human possibilities.

** When Tilda Swinton won an Oscar her poly relationship raised much buzz, which she handled with aplomb.

** The Tilda Swinton buzz got Polyamory Weekly podcaster Cunning Minx a nice writeup in her hometown Chicago paper. And that got her on Chicago radio, to take on a couple of dumb morning talk jocks.

** Loving More magazine is back.

** "Gleaned through work with my clients and a series of in-depth interviews," writes a New York therapist, "I offer you some examples of non-monogamous relationships, the elements that have them be workable, the challenges that come along with them, and the reasons why the people have chosen to set up their lifestyles and love-styles thus."

** Akien MacIain, in a poly-versus-mono discussion on the radio: "In the beginning there was God. And God was infinite and knew everything, except what it was to be finite. So one day God split itself up into zillions of little bits and commanded them all forget that they were one, and to go figure out what it was to be finite. And so we are all those little bits of God the infinite, learning what is to be finite." Not what the mono side expected?

** Voice of America TV, in a global news broadcast, plays it down the middle.

** Poly 101 advice for Staten Island.

** Deep in the Bible Belt, a founder of Focus On Christ Ministries denounces polyamory as depraved -- and one of our people, trained by the Jesuits, returns a Biblical reply. Save this for discussions with your Christian relatives.

** And finally, best of all: the Washington Post covered Loving More's Poly Living Conference with a long feature article. Never mind the mild snarks and cringe-makers. This is the deepest, truest-to-life article about us that I recall in the bigtime media.

------------------

Here's the site: http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/ . The 10 most recent items are up front. Look in the recent monthly archives for more. The archives are also sorted by subject and, in some cases, location.

I've done 209 of these reports in the last three years. I hope you have as much fun browsing them as I did creating them.

Cheers,

Alan M.

P.S.: If you're on LiveJournal, you can friend the LJ feed for the site:
http://syndicated.livejournal.com/polymedia

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

New to this tribe; fluid advice very much appreciated...

T.C. — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 21:59:46 GMT

I just found this tribe today and have read a bunch of threads...some great provocative posts here...think I'll be hanging out here for a while.

Anyway, my situation is this: I've been seeing a guy who I really like for about 2 months. From the beginning we've been "open"--he is very excited by the idea of having a "hot" girlfriend. He is sweet in many ways but obviously since it's a new relationship, there are trust issues to deal with. I've tried to be as honest and communicative as possible (as I would in any relationship), but it's daunting because he claims to have processed through the whole jealousy number, I don't know that I have, but as long as I don't feel that his extracurriculars are getting in the way of our time together, and that I'm the one he has sleepovers with, it's okay with me.

We went to a party run by some friends of mine last weekend but because there was no one there I was attracted to other than him, that hasn't really counted in his book as proof that I'm into 3somes (we're both straight although I like kissing girls; I adore MFM) and couple swapping. We're meeting a couple tonight who contacted us online (the online thing was his idea, but I've been the
writer/correspondent/screener) and I'm excited, but also feel put upon because he told me that his other girlfriends all said they were okay with the idea of his having sex with other women, but when it came down to it, they weren't. In other words, now I feel like I have to "prove" I'm cool with this, and when I feel manipulated, I can be quite the contrarian...maybe wind up not enjoying myself as much as I could.

I'm not sure what advice, exactly, I'm asking for...but I sense that my new boyfriend is much more compulsive about the non-monogamy scene, whereas I am more relaxed (well, not right now, admittedly!) and "when it happens, it happens" about it. But I've never had a romantic relationship with someone who was also a partner in various extracurricular activities. On the one hand, it's great not having to hide any of that from him--most guys hate it or think they could never take me seriously--but on the other hand, he gets so turned on that I will occasionally sleep with other guys that I wind up feeling like it's expected of me. Like he really did sound disappointed on the two occasions when I told him I hung out with a guy friend but just caught up with each other's lives over dinner.

As I said above, I can be a bit of a contrarian when I feel pushed in any particular direction, even if it's a direction I want to explore. We don't see each other more than twice a week, and I want enough alone time with this guy so we can continue to get to know each other--not just as sex bombs, but as people. I do have very intense feelings for him, but also realize that if it's only been 2 months, it's too soon to know what's going to happen. All I know is that I have zero desire to date anyone else, and he isn't seeing anyone else romantically, either. (I did raise the safe-sex issue with him--I have no intention of catching anything, and so our agreement is to only have unprotected sex with each other.)

Last weekend it hurt my feelings when he said that at the next party we go to, he wanted it to be more free-form, i.e. we split up and each find someone attractive to take into the back room, and not wait for the other. His rationale is that we're going to go home together anyway, but the whole reason I even want to go to these parties with him is so we can share adventures.

Obviously everyone has different comfort levels, but I'm just not sure I'm doing a good job communicating how I feel to him. I know if I felt more secure in his affections, I wouldn't be as anxious--but that takes time, and I don't want to rush or force any of that. Ironically, I agreed with him that it would be better to be open right out of the gate instead of waiting.

Thanks in advance for some fluid 2 cents....

posted in Fluid Relationships - 10 replies

Pomosexuality and the Death of the Label

Jaimee — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 01:53:39 GMT

BECAUSE LABELS ARE FOR CLOTHING... NOT PEOPLE.

Pomosexuality (short for postmodern sexuality) refers to a nonorientation in which people disregard sexual labels altogether. While it is convenient to sort everyone into a handful of different groups - homosexual, bisexual, heterosexual - pomosexuality argues that not only can these words and categories not do justice to the complexity of human sexuality, but are also grand illusions socially constructed to maintain a state of separateness between people. Like most other things in life, sexual orientation and/or gender identity isn't a black and white, either/or experience for many of us. More appropriately, it is best described as a fluid and incalculably unique journey that is beyond definition. Pomosexuality literally means anything you want it to mean. It means anything goes. And it represents an end to all the confusion, oppression, fear, and restraint that comes with trying to identify with a restrictive label.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXxODfmU_iU

Join the new social network that is introducing the concept of pomosexuality to the masses, revolutionizing the way the world views sexuality and gender. wWw.POMOWORLD.com

posted in Fluid Relationships - 1 reply

David Deida

TantraTao — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 08:00:13 GMT

Hey peeps,

I'm thinking about doing this workshop with David Deida.
Any of you done one before? What's the 411?

Details: www.DeidaEvents.com.

TT

posted in Fluid Relationships - 1 reply

Looking for an Poly Friendly community style living solution?

Temeluch — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 22:23:09 GMT

Looking for an Earth Friendly community style living solution?

There is a Meeting of the Kindred Spirits coming up March 29th! And
we do need to see some more Positive well integrated Female Energy in
this group who can work closely with others.

http://edenvillage.net/18.htm

Small Cabins under one hundred square feet can sometimes be used
in some states until you get ready to go up to code with a real home.

That would be an 8x12 cabin with rooftop rainwater collection.

A simple and fairly inexpensive solar power system that I might
recommend for instance, might consist of 6 - SQ 160 Watt PV panels,
One MX60 Controller and 4 L-16 H Deep Cycle batteries along with a
nonda power center and a battery bank desulfator.

Forget Flourescents unless you like to eat mercury. The time is now
for the low voltage LEDs.

We are still looking to organize a group of volunteers to
help out some good folks one day out of the week, with some
organic gardening and we still do need someone to take Minutes
at the next meeting.

It would be possible, I would think, if there is a single female or
two out there who is cool about living closer to the Earth then
I may be able to provide a place for you to live, for
maybe 6 months out of the year up where I live in Northern
California.

If you can simply come to our next meeting on March 29th. - T

http://edenvillage.net/18.htm

posted in Fluid Relationships - 1 reply

Documentary - The Nympho

Tim — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 19:34:07 GMT

My name is Tim Seitz and I am making a movie that celebrates the "Slut", I'm making a documentary about real "Nymphos", proud sluts who enjoy life and don't hide their celebration of sex. The two "stars" of the documentary are-

Lisa Sparxxx - Once the world record gangbang girl for having sex with over 900 guys www.lisasparxxx.com
Oasis - An Arizona girl who has bareback parties that are viedotaped www.cum2oasis.com

We will be interviewing other women who call themselves "nymphos" or "sluts", in order to be interviewed you must be-

18 years of age or older
Female (not transgendered)
Straight or Bisexual

We will be doing phone and video interviews for the movie.

To be considered please send an e-mail to me at cladinblak@aol.com
Tell me why you consider yourself a "Slut" or "Nympho" and would you be willing to be interviewed on video for the movie.

Thank you!

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

Recent Polyamory in the News

Alan — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 02:28:54 GMT

If you haven't been reading Polyamory in the News (http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/) in the last three months, here's some of what you missed:

** Today's Washington Post (Feb. 13) has a HUGE feature article on Loving More's Poly Living conference, held in early February. (I was there! Yay!) The article is remarkably perceptive and insightful. This is Big Time Stuff, getting talked about all over. Copy and save this one.

** Is the poly-vs-swinging debate finally settling itself? On both sides of this cultural divide, people seem to be deciding that it's a continuous spectrum on which you can position yourself where you wish. This takes on new relevance as swinging goes through an upsurge of mainstream attention -- which will increase when the primetime CBS-TV drama "Swingtown" debuts.

** For a couple opening up to poly, well-thought-out relationship agreements are a fine idea. But be prepared to outgrow them. In particular, don't get snagged by the Symbol Over Substance Mistake.

** "An Open and Shut Marriage" in the New York Times is a study in how not to try. How many blunders can you count here? Please -- research what other people have learned before setting out to reinvent this often difficult wheel. In the last 25 years the poly community has accumulated, through trial and error, a substantial body of wisdom.

** A chain of New Age magazines decides to spread a bit of this wisdom, in "Love Big."

** "Why is polyamory offensive? ...The most telling reason is that it makes people explore their own relationships and the fears that reside within...."

** A couple in Florida, brimming to share what they've found, announce Poly 101 workshops for the public and get nicely written up in their local paper. Maybe you can too.

** Rachel Kramer Bussell, a leading erotica author, wrestles with the Case for Open Relationships. "Polyamory is not a panacea; if you think you'll cure any and all sexual longings or be free of jealousy simply by taking on new partners, you're probably in for a rude awakening."

** Plus bunches of positive coverage in Spain (with TV-news video), Norway, Germany....

------------------

Here's the site: http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/ . The 10 most recent items are up front. Look in the recent monthly archives for more. The archives are also sorted by subject and, in some cases, location.

I've done 184 of these reports in the last two and a half years. I hope you have as much fun browsing them as I did creating them.

Cheers,

Alan

P.S.: If you're on LiveJournal, you can friend the LJ feed for the site:
http://syndicated.livejournal.com/polymedia

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

Erotic Arts Party in NYC Feb 13 (and need some performers)

sparktrue — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 00:18:31 GMT

Hi...
I'm out in LA but I'm working to help my cousin set up an erotic arts party
in NYC on Feb 13....(I'll be out on the 11th to set up)
we need a few more acts for the main stage... the more artistic the better...
You can check out the myspace page he made at
www.myspace.com/saintvenustheater

There will be music and performers and some
erotic lap dancers - but the intention is to not be any one thing...
it is not a strip club or a burlesque show, or a fetish event... and there is
absolutely no
sex for sure....

and if anyone wants to go just send me an email...
but if you have an act or know someone who does and could forward this
it would be greatly appreciated.

Previously we have only had very small private parties. This is the first one
in a long time open to the public and for a bigger crowd. If this one
goes well we'll do them regularly.

Cheers
rr

posted in Fluid Relationships - 1 reply

Fluid Bonded Partners

ReachOut — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 08:00:26 GMT

Do you associate a different romantic or serious level of closeness or commitment to someone when you decide to become fluid bonded (no barriers) with them? What about if you and your partner are in an open relationship and/or are polyamourous? What happens when they decide to go to that level with their other partners as well? Does it change or at least challenge how you feel about them emotionally or romantically (based on whatever value/symbolism you've placed on that bonding)? Or is it just a matter of communicating this to all stakeholders and nothing more.
What has been your experience and how did it work out?

posted in Fluid Relationships - 7 replies

The Diary of Jane

Broke Ben (Angel's Alt) — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 22:49:34 GMT

I recently wrote this as a response to someone who commented on the fact that the message of my last blog post was a bit depressing. I started to explain, then once I'd written it out realized how utterly crushed I really was. I find this surprising, as I'm kind of famous for being uncrushable.

The fact is, I'm in love with my best friend. I have been for a long time, almost since we met. I was with someone already. In fact, the way we met was Jane trying to hook up with her. Jane was with someone too, and I became best friends with both of them.

What I felt in those days has lingered, because at the time without putting too fine a point on it I had had a pretty rough run of significant others in my life who enjoyed leaving bruises n' not in the fun way. I know it's very rare in men, but it happens, and it happened to me a couple of times in a row. Point is, Jane took me in, cared for the parts of me that were broken when I got the courage to get out of a particularly long-running travesty of a relationship. After, I was barely there.

They built me up, they even gave me a place to live, and more through what I saw between them (though the relationship was ultimately doomed) I re-learned about love and the way people who love each other treat each other.

I came to admire my best friend, and as I said I came to be in love with her. Still, I had learned the skills I needed to make it a pure love, one that didn't threaten I'd do something to sabotage her relationship or even cause me to covet her overlymuch. That feeling gave me the faith to face everything that came after, to get to here. That feeling even made me a "True" friend for what felt to me like the first time in my life.

That, give or take, is the back-story. Since, she moved here and I moved back to my home state for a year and a half. When Amber (my now wife) and I moved here we got together, her newly single and me in the first *Real* relationship in my life.

Long story short we went out, ended up in a limo plied with WAAAAY too much vodka and then back at her place. A threesome ensued. While due to the sheer amount we had drank it was by no means my finest work, but I always held it as a singular moment, important. Me able to express my love in the only way I hadn't been able to, and with the two people I cared most about in the world. I had no illusions, I took it for what it was. If I seem to harbor a longing for the memory it's only because the memory itself to me is so sweet.

Even when we'd first started spending time together, it didn't take me long to realize while Jane and I created a fantastic gear, at the heart of it she comes from a much brighter place than I do. I could never dwell there, my eyes could never adjust. It was something I excepted with a sweet and excruciating sting, crossed myself and gave thanks for all that I did have in this life, and moved forward. As I'm fond of saying, I always knew Jane would never feel as much for me as I did for her.

But today I got a letter from her, it was titled "confession" and it was pretty much a denunciation and apology for her part in the act, and a very detailed account of exactly why it meant absolutely nothing to her, and in fact *could* not have at that time in her life.

I guess I'm upset, sad and frustrated. She wrote me this because I don't hide my appreciation for her. I mean, she's my best friend. But, due to the particularly artsy and editorially inclined sort of people that we are evidentally my appreciation has become so overt that my friend, my junior of SEVERAL years, felt the need to "check" me.

This is profound, what I feel. It's profound and wonderful and doesn't require a damn thing from anyone. I love who Jane is, and for all the subtleties surrounding that the simple fact of it was the foundation for alot of who I am today.

And I'm struck by the fact that no one does understand. Or worse, that they do and don't want it.

suddenly, I find myself out of words.

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

flood!!

Jed — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 12:51:45 GMT

You know what they say..when it rains it pours.
I've been single and I mean SINGLE for the past year after returning home from travelling for many years..
So I decided to try one of these online dating sites and I'm getting a flood of attractive women asking me out on dates..

Do I tell each one about the others...I have no idea if they themselves are going on several dates..Kinda new to all this.
I'm not actually in a relationship or have kissed any yet.. But I can feel their energies and intentions building...

How does one be cool about seeing what's out there with out selling themselves short OR mislead anyone else??

posted in Fluid Relationships - 2 replies

Share the Bliss of All-Chakra Lovemaking w/ Dr. Sasha Lessin & Janet Lessin

Sasha (Alex) — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 17:34:12 GMT

Share the Bliss of All-Chakra Lovemaking w/ Dr. Sasha Lessin & Janet Lessin

The Patti Taylor Show, "Expanded Lovemaking" Episode 33
http://personallifemedia.com/podcasts/230-expanded-
lovemaking/episodes/3493-sharing-bliss-chakra-lovemaking-dr-sasha

In this show, hear Dr. Patti talk to Dr. Sasha Lessin and his wife,
Janet Lessin, about All-Chakra Tantra. The Lessins are the founders
of the School of Tantra in Maui, Hawaii, where they teach people to
make love with their whole being, and to unblock any and all stuck
places that get in the way of intimacy, personal power and full
orgasmic presence. Learn what the chakras mean, and how to use them
to create a beautiful lovemaking ceremony. Experience for yourself a
dynamic process that Sasha and Janet use to generate connection using
the seven chakras to send shivers of delight up your spine! You can
feel the energy while listening, and better yet, also reproduce this
in your own home with the handout the Lessins give. Then, tune in as
Sasha gives Janet a reenactment of a full ejaculatory orgasm. Sasha
very specifically goes stroke by stroke over exactly how he evokes
every little nuance and pleasure from Janet's clit and "cave", as
well as creating her "gushing" over the edge. Youwill get lots of
specific ideas. Janet's commentaries on the emotional impact of
Sasha's touches, and her vulnerability, are priceless, as are both of
their spoken words to one another. Learn the kind of work the Lessins
do to help others with issues such as sexual healing and emotional
blocks to sex in their private counseling. This show models how
easily true expanded love can be made! Plus, find out how they
connect their work to planetary healing.

How to Really Love A Woman
Transcript

Dr. Patti Taylor: Welcome to the Expanded Lovemaking show. I'm your
host, Dr. Patti Taylor of Expanded Lovemaking dot com, and I teach
you how to give and receive way more pleasure than you ever dreamed
possible. Today on the show, we are talking about sharing the bliss
of all chakra lovemaking with a partner. Usually, we have guests on
talking about what they do. Today, we're so lucky to have two experts
on the show experiencing intimate yet powerful lovemaking and talking
to us as they go through it themselves. I'll be inviting you to join
in energetically and to take back juicy knowledge and energy into
your own lovemaking enjoyment. Our guests are Dr. Sasha Lessin, Dean
of the School of Tantra, with his wife, Janet Lessin, Professor of
Tantric Studies at the School of Tantra. So, welcome, Sasha and Janet
Lessin.

Janet Lessin: Aloha! Thank you for having us here.

Sasha Lessin: Aloha.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Hi, so, Dr. Sasha Lessin is a practicing
psychotherapist and relationship counselor for over thirty years who
brings many special skills to his counseling, including hypnotherapy,
holotropic breathing, healing and past-life regressions, spirit
releasement, and voice dialogue. Janet Lessin is an accomplished
writer and teacher of Tantra. Sasha and Janet teach their diverse
healing and spiritual paths together through their School of Tantra.
They're the authors of All Chakra Tantra and How to Really Love a
Woman, amongst many other incredible books and things that they've
created. They live in Maui, Hawaii, where they offer workshops,
ceremonies, singles events, couples events, residential retreats,
Tantra training of all sorts, and they also do counseling by phone. I
think our listeners will love this show because, in a real life
experience, you can feel the energy instead of just hearing about it.
And I've always loved being able to model myself after experts. So
today, then, we will find out all about All Chakra Tantra and have
some demonstrations of the Lessins' most requested teachings.
Hopefully some of them, anyway. Including creating an intimate female
ejaculatory lovemaking session. So let's get started! Let's find out
a little bit about All Chakra Tantra, and I think we need to start
out finding out what is a chakra. So hello, and can you tell us a
little about All Chakra Tantra?

Sasha Lessin: Oh, I'd love to, and I'll be posting this stuff on your
site, Patti, so people can get it. Tantra, one of its meanings
is "weaving." It means weaving all levels of your awareness, and
these levels we call "chakras." These are things within you and
between you and those you love. Think of the chakras with your body
parts, the bottom of your torso, genitals is the next one, belly,
heart, throat, brain, then the neocortex. And these are the parts
that make you aware of first security, the sexuality, then power,
love is the heart, talk the throat, clarity- that's the vision
center. And spiritual connection. Each of these chakras constitues an
inner dimension within you and an outer dimension between you and
your lovers, and in each chakra you have a number of sub-cells or
inner voices, energies concerned with the tasks of the chakra
involved. Now, in All Chakra Tantra, you center yourself at each
chakra with regard to the sub-cells active in the issues of concern
to that chakra so you have the benefit of consulting them all. That's
within you. And then you also center yourself in your lover
relationship, so you create a two-person, or multi-person if you're
polyamorous- an interpersonal entity. It could be diadic or triadic,
but it weaves your needs with those of your lovers, and you and your
lovers join together in an ocean of consciousness and merge with all
of the humanities. And of course- let's look at each one, really get
a feeling for it. The first chakra relates to your perineum, it
concerns your need to feel, belong, feel safe, secure, and to take
care of your inner child. And balance within yourself means being
able to take care of this vulnerable part, the part that feels
emotions and can be hurt so easily, and the part of you that protects
that, being able to have a balance. You can decide how emotional
you're going to be. It means that if you're in a Tantric
relationship, you help your mate feel emotionally and financially
secure and take care of each other's health. So that's the first
chakra. We do a whole lot of real, real integration, of getting past
the programs that our inner children have from their parents, the
parents in the real world, so that we can be free to be with our
lovers.

Dr. Patti Taylor: And the perineum is located where?

Sasha Lessin: It's between the genitals and the anal sphincter area.
This is how you relate to the earth. Your security, your sense of
belonging to life, belonging to a relationship. It's really critical
that our children, the sensitive part of us, be allowed to be present
in our lovemaking.

Dr. Patti Taylor: I would think without that active, that you
couldn't even really start your lovemaking.

Sasha Lessin: No, it's really hard. You have to distinguish your
lover from your dad and your mother so that you are just present with
what's real for you in the relationship. It's totally critical. We're
conditioned by so many little habits that we imprinted without even
thinking by seeing how our parents interacted, and by our society.
What we want to do is get free to really feel our sensorium and be
present with all of our emotions. And that means you have to feel
safe with your lover. That's the first chakra, and that's where the
bonding patterns take place, and how to keep sweet interaction going.
The second chakra is what we're going to deal with a bit today, which
is your sexual needs, and within you it's being able to express
yourself sexually and when to hold back. So in other words, for every
chakra we try to balance ourselves out, many aspects of us that are
concerned with in this case chakra two, the sexual chakra. We try to
center ourselves among the impulses we have so we can make
discriminating behaviors. For women, what we teach of the second
chakra, we teach women how to have ejaculatory orgasms, where a fluid-
anrida, it's called, it's alkaline -comes down from the urinary
bladder down the urethra and squirts or burbles out, accompanied by a
clitoral and vaginal orgasm, and it's really great. For a man we
teach complete and total ejaculatory control, which is really very
easy once you control your abdominal muscles. That's chakra two. The
third chakra relates to the belly-diaphragm area. We have power,
being able to lead or follow in the relationship, being able to let
the other person lead, and being able to encourage them to take
what's rightfully theirs in life. The fourth chakra- and we're going
to be demonstrating each one of these when we do our lovemaking in a
little bit, the re-enactment. But the fourth chakra is the heart
chakra, being able to give love and to get love, to not- being so
balanced within you means you're not into giving all the time so you
use up all your energy and feel resentful, or not just demanding all
the time so that you're so selfish no one wants to relate to you, but
the balance. The fifth chakra is the throat chakra, and here we're
concerned with expression, being able to both say what's really real
for you in your authenticity and being able to keep your mouth shut
when what you say won't be helpful, true, or kind. So, being able to
choose what we say and don't say, and to really be able to hear each
other. And then the next chakra, of course, is the brain chakra, and
this is where you have vision, where you see things, intuit, and the
intellect, where you think things. And all those, we ask that to be
present in All Chakra lovemaking, and that's really, really
important, too. Lots of times when you're making love you'll have
visions of your childhood or past lives or archetypes or movies your
saw. Let all those things happen. It really enriches everything. The
seventh chakra, your crown chakra, we think of as opening up and
allowing you to become spiritually one, so that you're not feeling
separate at all from the person you're making love with, but you are
one. You transcend your separate-self sense in that sense, so you're
not just identified with little you and not just identified with your
mate, but you identify with everything in the world, and that is the
spiritual dimension that we seek. And there's a little chant that
goes with it. And we're going to show you how we bring all that stuff
into our lovemaking.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow, that's really exciting, and I'm really looking
forward to this. I think a lot of our listeners would love to be
having that kind of fully integrated, alive on all levels kind of
lovemaking.

Sasha Lessin: Cool. Yeah, we love to share that, and also on the site
we have a thing that you can do by yourself where you feel each
chakra, where you empower your inner child, you empower your sexual
part. You go through each one of these. There's the chant you can do
yourself looking in a mirror or, as we'll be doing in a little bit,
with one lover putting their legs around the hips of the other and
looking into each other's eyes and then making these sounds called
the Bija Mantra. These Sanskrit sounds that activate these chakras
doing blessings. We'll be doing that after the break.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay, cool. Well, I know this is going to be sort
of the short version of what could take possibly hours, so I thank
you for- but I guess you could do this in a long version of a short
version, so let's go ahead and give it a roll here. I'm all juicy and
waiting to let it go.

Janet Lessin: Okay. So, we begin with the setup. While the woman is
taking a bath and preparing herself for her Tantric ritual, her
beloved prepares the space. And he puts out beautiful tapestries, or
lights incense and candles and brings flowers. He's interviewed her
beforehand so he knows what kind of music she likes, what kinds of
things she likes to relax, maybe some fine wine or something. At our
home, we're located high on West Maui Mountain, and for our date
today, we have the phone on today because we're talking to you, but
normally we turn off the phone, and we would lock all the doors, and
turn off the TV, and get into a sacred ritual space. In our location,
we're very fortunate. Our bed overlooks beautiful Maui Harbor, where
we see windsurfers on the north shore. Sasha has prepared our Tantric
lovemaking nest, and there's tapestries showing deities making love
and he's put down all these wonderful, comfy pillows, and lots of
towels so that when the woman- when I -eventually ejaculate, I won't
be worried about wetting the bed.

Sasha Lessin: If she wets the bed, it's the man's reponsibility to
sleep in the wet spot after. So what we do, way before we even
connect like this, we take the time to share our emotions, so we
makes sure there's no unfinished emotional business that hasn't been
resolved and we can be fully present. Then we sit in this- it's
called "yab yung" position, it's got her legs over mine. And now we
breathe in and out at the same time and gaze in one another's left
eyes. As I let my awareness flow through Janet's left eye, beyond her
face, beyond her present form, I go to her deep soul, to the core of
her. And she's doing the same for me. She meditates on experiencing
my essence through my left eye. It's a portal to my soul. And when I
feel her deepest essence, I can feel that contact, and then it
resonates within me. Her consciousness and mine, I can realize, are
identical. She is me and I am she and we are one. We experience this
existential love. Unity.

Janet Lessin: Then we move into syncopated breaths, where one is
breathing out and the other is breathing in. We're sharing breath.
And I breathe out through my mouth towards Sasha's nose, and he
inhales my breath through his nostrils. Then I inhale through my nose
and he breathes out through his mouth towards my nose. Each time I
inhale I say to myself, "He loves me." Each time I exhale into his
nose, I say to myself, "I love you." And he does the same meditation.

Sasha Lessin: I love you.

Janet Lessin: Back and forth. "I love you, you love me," with each
exhale and inhale.

Sasha Lessin: And now, as we keep gazing into each other's eyes, we
chant this ancient Sanskrit mantra. It's got seven syllable
words, "lam," "bam," "ram," "yam," "ham," and "ohm." Each syllable
will activate a different one of these chakras that we were talking
about. The "lam" will pump our perineum, the "bam" will invigorate
our genitals, "ram" empowers our bellies, "yam" heals our
hearts, "ham" frees our voices. Our third eye, from our head to the
occipit vibrates with "oh," and we think and intuit at the same time.
Then we chant "m" and our crowns open and unite us with all that is
and will be. When we complete the seven syllables, we tighten our PC
muscles and our belly muscles, pulse our anuses, and imagine energy
flowing from the tip of our spine, the bottom, up through our bodies,
out our crowns, where our energies meet. So we're going to chant
these, and if you want to and it's safe to do so, you can even chant
them with them, and they are "lam, bam, ram, yam, ham, and ohm." So
here we go.

Sasha and Janet Together: Lam, bam, ram, yam, ham, oh, m.

Sasha Lessin: Belly hold until you feel this whole field of energy,
baby.

Janet Lessin: So we're vibrating together, sweetheart, in every one
of our chakras.

Sasha Lessin: Oh, sweetheart, thank you for letting me worship and
adore you. I delight in serving you, and I love relating this
intimately. May my adoration heal hurts I have caused you or others
have caused you. May our hearts unite, and may we become one with the
universe. What would you like to say to consecrate the worship I
offer you, darling?

Janet Lessin: Sweetheart, I love how you take the time to pleasure
and honor who I am. You slow things down and listen to me kindly.
Your love compels me until time is slow or all stands still. And
nothing else seems to exist but you and me, as we become one with the
infinite and all that there is. You help me to evolve, grow, expand
in my path to consciousness. I appreciate how you meet me and are so
present, touch me sweetly and softly, and speak these wonderful words
to me as I dissolve into higher states of consciousness, and from
there I can see other worlds and other realms and dimensions, and
find new ways of being and becoming a more loving self. Thank you, my
love.

Sasha Lessin: Okay, honey, I'm going to lie you down on your back. I
wanted to dedicate my intention in this connect. I'm going to put
first my left hand on your heart, there. You put your hand on top of
mine. My right hand is going to be on each one of your chakras as I
bless each. These are called mudras, it's to put you in
the "moodras," so to speak. So first, I put my hand lightly on your
perineum. Pulse your anal sphincter, honey. Sweetheart, I love you, I
want you to feel your base, to enjoy health, safety, and security. I
want you to know you belong and please, may your inner child be
present in this lovemaking. Feel the energy, feel the energy. Now I'm
going to touch your labia. I love you at your yoni- that's Sanskrit
for "vagina" -and bless you sensually. May you be sensual, creative,
and sexual. May your goddess of sensuality, the second chakra
goddess, be present for this trice. Now I'm going to touch your
belly. I love you in your power chakra. Take what's yours,
sweetheart. May the goddess of strength enjoy the sensual touch we
share at your genital chakra. Now I'm going to put both hands on your
heart. I send you love. May you feel the touch with pleasure. May
your romantic subpersonality enjoy this experience. Now the back of
your neck with my right hand. I love you, may you say your thoughts,
make sounds, and express as you connect with me. I'm going to touch
your brow. I celebrate how you understand and intuit. I invite your
visionary to give you images and insight as I stroke your grotto. And
lastly I touch the top of your head. I love you and merge with you.
May your spiritual self be present and may you experience unity with
the universe. And now, sweetheart- oh, this feels so good -I'd like
to give you a gentle massage all over. I'm going to especially rub
the grasillus muscles- that is, the muscles on the inside of each of
your thighs -because massaging this grasillus muscle also stimulates
the lateral ends of your hidden clitoral tissues. There we go. Feel
that?

Janet Lessin: Yeah.

Sasha Lessin: Now your belly muscles, just above the pubic bone, so
that the energy can flow from your power chakra- that's the third
chakra -down from your navel to your genital chakra. It takes a
while. We do a long massage. So we'll just jump to the chase, here,
and I'll say to Janet...I'd really like to give some focused touch to
your temple of love, honey.

Janet Lessin: Okay. Please, please do.

Sasha Lessin: I'm going to massage, then I'm going to kiss your
genital drapes and the valance, so to speak, over your pearl-
clitoral tip. I want you to make sounds and direct me with words or
sounds, give me feedback. I'm going to lick and stroke. I won't be
able to talk soon, but what I'll be doing is I'll be lightly stroking
her outer labia. Relaxing her clitoral hood-

Dr. Patti Taylor: Before we do that, can I just jump in for a second,
before I hop on a plane to Hawaii? First thing I want to say is that
it's totally astonishing, and we are just going to have to pause for
break. Can you, like, hang out in that space for a moment?

Sasha Lessin: Sure, I'll just be sure not to rub her the wrong way.

Dr. Patti Taylor: I don't think that's possible. But we do have to
stop for a quick break, to support our sponsors. You guys just hang
out there. I'm shaking from head to toe, so it won't be a problem for
me. This is Dr. Patti Taylor, and I'm with Sasha and Janet Lessin in
their magical space, and we will be right back. You can learn more
about Sasha and Janet at www.schooloftantra.com.

[Advertisement.]

Dr. Patti Taylor: We're back, and we are talking about sharing the
bliss of All Chakra Lovemaking with a partner. We were talking about
the All Chakra Tantra blessing, and now we are going into the female
ejaculatory orgasm. Why don't you just keep going?

Sasha: Okay. While we've had the break, I've been stroking her labia,
and gently, gently rolling the clitoral hood around the crown itself.
And I notice, now, that her vaginal lips are starting to swell. The
outer lips are swelling and now I can see the beautiful little inner
lips. I trace circles, spirals, horizontals, verticals, diagonals,
figure eights on them with my finger. I alternate long and short
strokes. Playful. Tap, rub, knead. It takes a lot of air time, but we
would do this for about fifteen minutes until the clitoral hood
itself starts to push back and I can see the tip of the clitoris
itself, and then I say...sweetheart, would you like me to polish your
pearl?

Janet Lessin: Oh, yes. Oh-ho, yes.

Sasha Lessin: First I blow on your genitals. It's really important
not to blow inside the vagina because it's an anaerobic system, but I
just want to make some hot air on the outside, little baby kisses on
the clitoris. I'm going to twirl my tongue around the crown and lick
your labia and reach softly into your yoni with my fingers. All the
time, even though I'm down here, I'm looking into your eyes. I
salivate as much as I can to really lubricate your orifice.

Janet Lessin: Ah, yes. Thank you. What I'm experiencing right now-
I've got to come back into consciousness in order to talk to you -is
I'm not really thinking per se, but I'm evolving into this higher
state of consciousness. And Sasha and I are divine, sacred, twin
souls but I know the way. He's taken me there endless, numerous
times. So here I'm experiencing pure pleasure. It's a state of total
bliss, like a continuous orgasmic state where one orgasm blends into
another, and I become one with my beloved Sasha. I recognize that we
are eternal beings, that we've always been together and always will
be. And then I become one with my animal friends, and nature, the
island of Maui, the earth, the solar system, out to the cosmos and
eventually I feel my oneness with Source, that divine, infinite space
of love and light, and I'm simultaneously feeling my oneness with
Sasha here in the physical plane. So I've transcended and I've
brought Heaven to earth. And he comes into his oneness with me, and
he feels it just as if it's happening to him.

Sasha Lessin: Oh, you bet, baby. I'm taking my mouth off of her
clitoris for a minute to ask a question. I would like to enter your
sacred cave with my right ring finger. Would you like that, honey?

Janet Lessin: Oh, yes, lover. Please take me even higher.

Sasha Lessin: Okay, so I lick my finger so it's quite moist, and I
place the tip of my fingerpad just inside the vaginal opening. Now
pull my finger in, honey.

Janet Lessin: Okay.

Sasha Lessin: I feel the muscles pulsing on my finger. Now I'm going
to curl my fingerpad inside your yoni towards your navel and back
towards your inner leg so it rests gently on your G-spot area, just
behind the pubic bone. Let's breathe together. I'm going to keep my
hand still, and I want you to just to imagine that my finger reaches
inside all the way to your heart. Okay, now I'm going to start
a "c'mere" motion with my finger, taking the pad from the cervix to
the orifice. Slowly, back and forth. From the top of your cave to the
cervix, to the cave's opening. And all the while, I'm going to keep
kissing your pearl and lapping your labia, releasing lots of saliva.
This would go on for some time. Then I start turning my wrist from
side to side, and I trace a crescent over Janet's G-spot. Then, very
soft and light at first, I sweep, turning my wrist from up to down,
from the left half of your cave. Slowly I skim the front of my right
finger from the cave roof to its floor and the outside door, and then
I'm going to have to take my right ring finger and put my left finger
inside. Tben I can get the whole other side of your yoni roof.

Janet Lessin: Yeah. Well, after a few minutes, Sasha changes his
position, so he eases his back and neck, and he rubs and taps and
touches all over inside my vagina. He strokes different levels,
different depths, finding the pressure. He alters his speed, and he
goes in and out, and traces the throbbing veins and the arteries, and
presses gently all the way to the bone in each part of my sacred cave.

Sasha Lessin: Sweetheart, would you like me to pet you with two
fingers inside?

Janet Lessin: Yes, please.

Sasha Lessin: Okay, so now I move my fingers from the cervix- I get
right between my two fingers toward the orifice, and I have in my
fingers- I can feel through the intervening flesh, I can feel the
inner clitoris, and also the urethral sponge. I can feel the sponge,
which surrounds the urethra and goes from the urinary bladder to the
urinary viatus where the urine comes out. The tissue gets rough. You
can feel it descending, it's about the size of a little finger now.
It's getting quite stimulated. The area just behind the pubic bone is
swelling. This is the so-called G-spot area. That's it, that's it. Do
I got it?

Janet Lessin: Yes, you have the right spot, sweetheart. If you keep
going like that, in short order I can ejaculate.

Sasha Lessin: Great! Push your uterus out like you're delivering a
baby. Push out, honey.

Janet Lessin: Thank you, sweetheart.

Sasha Lessin: Wow, that's great, honey! Wow! Oh, Janet's ejaculating,
squirting ounces of anrida. Divine nectar! Now's where I say your
affirmations, honey. You're beautiful! Forever young! I love you
forever! You're coming into your power!

Janet Lessin: I love you, sweetheart.

Sasha Lessin: This is so beautiful, sweetheart.

Janet Lessin: Thank you.

Sasha Lessin: Now let me just hold you a bit. Let me come up here.
I'm going to keep my hand in your yoni, the palm of my hand across
your mons. I love you so much.

Janet Lessin: I love you so much. So, in a normal Tantric day, we
would just keep continuing.

Sasha Lessin: The easiest time to have an orgasm is-

Janet Lessin: Right after you have an orgasm.

Sasha Lessin: What is important when a woman has an ejaculatory
orgasm is not to demand intercourse. If she wants to have intercourse
next you can, but what's really nice is to just, if you're the giver,
to just be there quietly and just see what she wants to say if that's
the entire experience. Because usually when a person has an orgasm
like this, it has clitoral and vaginal, as well as a urinal
ejaculatory aspects, and it's so overwhelming that silence and
meditation is just perfect because you feel at one with your mate and
you feel at one with the universe.

Janet Lessin: It's a very blissful state, but it's also very
vulnerable. So it's important for the giver to be sensitive about his
own needs and not push an agenda. Just be there for his beloved so
that she can reconnect and find all the pieces of her soul and
reconnect with the tissues of her body. And that sometimes takes a
long time, especially if someone had a history of abuse of any kind.

Sasha: Yeah. In a more advanced Tantra, I would put some lubricant on
fingers of my other hand and slowly work those fingers into the base
chakra. Then I would move the fingers in different insane patterns
than the fingers I have in the yoni, my tongue on the clitoris, so
that I have many, many different stimulations going at the same time.
I would tap a little finger against the very tip of her lowest
vertebrae so that the kundolini, the energy from the tip of the
spine, starts to move up. I'm looking in her eyes, and saying
beautiful things. So we have all these things going at once, and then
I may take my other hand, my left hand, out of the base chakra, push
through the top, right underneath the navel, through the outside of
her skin. That's called "uniting the fingers," with my fingers inside
and the fingers outside of her belly go in different directions. I
move the entire clitoris, which is quite a large organ. You only see
the very teeny eighth of an inch or so of the clitoral tip, but
actually the clitoris goes back about an inch and a half into the
body, and then bifurcates, goes down each leg, so that this rubbing
that I did in the beginning of the grasillus muscle, which is one of
the ductor muscles of the leg. This massage of that grasillus was
also massaging the tip of the clitoris, which is a really large
organ. You don't know it, but you can sure feel it inside.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow. Well, that is...I just can't thank you enough
for sharing so...I know it's just a re-enactment, but still powerful
and intimate and very inspirational.

Janet Lessin: Thank you for inviting us to share.

Sasha Lessin: We love sharing. We should do it on TV for you sometime.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Well, you know, I wanted to say, I checked out your
website, and we'll give the link again in just a minute. But you have
some beautiful pictures on your website, including how to sit for the
lesson that we talked about in the first segment of the show. And you
have the gorgeous pictures that go along with the beautiful chakras,
and your website is a trip. I absolutely think everybody who listens
to the show should go to www.schooloftantra.com and just spend a day
there or, you know, an hour there, and just tool around and have some
fun with you guys. 'Cause there's just more there than you can
imagine. Anyway, we're going to have to take another break, just for
our sponsors. This is Dr. Patti Taylor, and I'm with Sasha and Janet
Lessin, and we will be right back. And as I said, you can learn more,
and definitely we'll have a great time learning more about Sasha and
Janet. They do so many things. They teach, they have residential
stuff, they write books. Schooloftantra dot com. You can also visit
our episode page and we'll put up some links for them and their new
book All Chakra Tantra.

[Advertisement.]

Dr. Patti Taylor: We're back, and we are talking about sharing the
bliss of All Chakra Lovemaking with a partner. So, before the break,
we were talking about- I don't know if "talking about" is the right
word. We were in the throes of the most exquisite, intimate sharing
imaginable of your experiencing this gorgeous female ejaculatory
orgasm, and I think I'm still almost speechless with the beauty of it
all. I really want to thank you for an incredible gift that you've
given me and my listeners. Our listeners.

Janet Lessin: Our pleasure.

Dr. Patti Taylor: So, just to kind of close down the show a little,
here, I just want to just talk a little bit about what you do with
the people that go all the way to Maui or people that live in Maui.
But, you know, how you empower people. Who are you? Let's find out a
little about you.

Sasha Lessin: One of the most important things that we do is while
we're doing- instead of just going into merely the pleasure part,
which we've done, we take the time to slowly explore every centimeter
of the inside of the yoni and map where it feels good at different
levels of pressure and where there's a numbness or lack of feeling.
Wherever there's numbness or lack of feeling, I say free associate,
and that's when people start to re-live unfinished emotional things.
They're creating blocks to their ejaculatory orgasms and they will
actually start to re-live things that they've forgotten. And I have
them express more than they expressed in the original situation and
then have an imaginary scenario where they act it out so they get
another program that allows them to feel everywhere. And then I move
my finger back to where it felt good in the yoni and then back to
where it felt numb until that feels good, too, until by stimulus
generalization the entire yoni is like a G-spot and the person
doesn't have any blocks to full emotional and sexual feeling.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Okay, so one thing you do for sure is you help
people wake up their potential for full-on orgasmic expression.

Janet Lessin: Right, if they have any emotional or psychological
issues or trauma it'll block their chakras and they won't be able to
experience their sexuality to its fullest potential. So we do a lot
of cowpering, we do a lot of communications, we help couples grow
closer to each other, we help singles learn how to attract and learn
how to keep their beloved. We use a lot of different
psychotechnologies, and communication techniques, like non-body
communication, voice dialogue, gestalt therapy, existential and past-
life and childhood re-scripting therapies. These are all part of our
Tantra school. People can come and learn how to be Tantric cowpers
and therapists and teachers on all different levels. Some people like
to give workshops and conferences. Some like to do therapy,
individually or couples or in small groups. So Sasha Lessin has been
a therapist, cowper for about forty years. He's just one of the best
on the planet and I'm so blessed to be married to him.

Dr. Patti Taylor: You have stuff going on all the time and it's such
a wide variety of things. Even to get to be around you is just a
cornucopia, an abundance of knowledge pouring out of the two of you.
Do you have any examples of somebody that you've helped recently, and
what happened?

Sasha Lessin: Let's just tell you the story of Janet and how this
worked for her.

Janet Lessin: Oh...well, I wasn't prepared for that. I was very luded
in my childhood. There was a lot of rape and incest issues, so I was
kind of on the way out, I was dying and I'd been to all these
different therapists, and when I met Dr. Lessin we started doing the
yoni work and the- I had what was called "mecunhe," I had a blocked
issue about an incest-rape issue. And once that came forth, it
reversed my physical ails, and once that happened for me I devoted my
life to learning this so I could help other people. So as a
consequence we give people all the time to have these issues, they're
not sure what's going on with them sexually, they don't know why
they're depressed or they're having reactions to where they're
stifling their creativity. They get into incredible negative bonding
patterns with each other. Go ahead, honey. What did you want to say?

Sasha Lessin: It's just so gratifying to realize that you're not
stuck, that you can re-program anything to allow yourself all the
pleasures that life has to hold. And the interesting thing about
ejaculatory orgasms is that since it comes from the urinary bladder,
even people that have had hysterectomies can have incredibly intense
ejaculatory orgasms.

Dr. Patti Taylor: That sounds so amazing. And you combine it with a
trip to Hawaii on top of that, right?

Janet Lessin: Yes, so you want Tantra to become a lifestyle that
affects all avenues of your life. It'll help you in your job, and
transcend over to all your relationships. Your family, friends.

Sasha Lessin: We really think that making love is the alternative to
violence. The evidence is overwhelming that if you don't abuse or hit
your children, and if you allow good sex among people without a lot
of restrictions, then people do not engage in violent crime or war.
So make love, not war. And we teach you how to really make love well.

Dr. Patti Taylor: That's really beautiful. Well, we're almost out of
time, so I just have time for one final question each. So, if you
could leave our listeners today with one final thought, what will it
be? And you can decide who goes first.

Sasha Lessin: Go first, darling.

Janet Lessin: Be true to yourself. In Tantra we encourage authentic
communication. Learn how to speak close to the truth and sometimes
you may have consequences but at least you'll set yourself free. Free
to be who you really are.

Sasha Lessin: Listen to each other. When your lover is emotional,
don't just shut it off, but encourage it. Let their feelings out.
Empathize with those feelings. Find out what they need, and then ask
what you can do to help meet those needs.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Wow. Thank you so much. That's very, very
beautiful, heartfelt advice, but why am I not surprised? I just
deeply want to thank you for revealing of yourselves and essentially
modeling for me and for all of us the beautiful stuff you had to
share today. I want to remind everyone that we will have links up on
our episode page to a handout that you can actually download so that
you can have the bija mantras and take them home and practice them
with your lover, because it sounds like that would be a great way to
kick off any fabulous lovemaking session. And I also want to say that
these beautiful mantras seem to be at the bottom of pretty much every
page of your website as well. So you will be able to go to our
episodes page for this show and get a handout, as well as finding out
about their book, All Chakra Tantra and How to Love a Woman.

Sasha Lessin: And also for those people that have alternate
relationships, that is something we really love to do. You don't have
to be conventional. You get to choose for yourself who make love with
and how.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Right. So you are very, very diverse in your
talents. Thank you once again for coming on the show. I had a
phenomenal time and experience today.

Janet Lessin: Thank you for having us.

[All exchange goodbyes.]

Dr. Patti Taylor: So this brings us to the end of our show. Thank
you, listeners, for listening and joining in. Please send me email at
patti@personallifemedia.com. For text and transcripts of this show
and other shows, please visit our website at personallifemedia.com.
And come post a blog comment at our blog page, too. So, if you
haven't already, please be sure to subscribe to the Expanded
Lovemaking show, so that you can get automatic updates as soon as
they become available. And please visit me, Dr. Patti Taylor, at
expandedlovemaking.com, where you can join my mailing list and find
out more about my products, services, and events. So this is your
host, Dr. Patti Taylor, and that's all for now. And I remain yours in
ever expanding lovemaking. And I'll see you next week.

Patti's wonderful site:
http://personallifemedia.com/podcasts/230-expanded-
lovemaking/episodes/3493-sharing-bliss-chakra-lovemaking-dr-sasha

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

jealousy and fantasy

Sabrina — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 11:57:37 GMT

there has been so much discussion about the dynamics and fundamentals of self reflection in the context of jealousy and intimacy; but im still at a basic level and I need some insight! I identify as bisexual, my husband and I have had many lovely experiences w/ women- however I exist in this fantasy of watching hi fuck other women while I am forced to observe, at which time I am pissed and extremely turned on. I can barely have "normal" sex without calling up a fantasy. While I know that 'kinks' are what they are I feel confused as to what is healthy and what is low self esteem.

reflections?

posted in Fluid Relationships - 2 replies

fuidity during pregnancy

molly — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 16:53:01 GMT

I am 1 yr postpartum with my first child and just now I feel myself re-opening to my open fluid view of relationships. During my pregnancy and postpartum time I felt very very very fearful of my partner being with any other woman. I always was willing to challenge myself to be okay w/ it during this time, but our experiences until lately were disastrous. I'm curious if any one else felt this overwhelming biological need to be monogamous during this highly emotional and hormonal time! - M

posted in Fluid Relationships - 11 replies

Think how this might affect many of our relationships-

Tasi — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 21:59:42 GMT

Well, my dear loved ones and star being family,

As eye hold space for ascension and the evolution of the soul, other dark forces are vying for their lot - what's to do? eye keep posting invitations and calls for action on the Ambassadors of Love Consciousness tribe, though, in the past, eye have gotten little response. how long do we think we can sit here... caught up in our apathy or exhaustion from 9-5 entanglements? what resources can we give, you give, eye give to this global transformation- eye don't know about you, but eye think feudalism is long outdated and way over-rated. freedom is a relative term, though it's complete truth lies in us each through our own manifestations of internal reflection. which is one way that eye know so many of your loving, creative, beautiful, passionate, liberated beings. and, with this in mind, it is very much time for the Jedi council to be held on a global scale with gr8 magnitude. we must assemble- the truth of our souls is praying that we move now, and gather together. of course, consider the likely result of our apathy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJoIbPkRvig

if it does not work to click on this link, then simply paste it in your address window- i ask thee all watch part 1 and 2 at least- the rest is also very good, though only if you are interested at this point. note: part 3 and 4 are repeats, though 5 picks up and continues to 7...

please spread the awareness of the activities of these dark souls- we must join together if we are to have the liberated loving evolution of being we so long for-

praises and gratitude to the all high spirit and home of our loving bliss-

In'Lakesh,

Tasi

posted in Fluid Relationships - 1 reply

just amorous not poly...

little lightening bolt — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 10:10:01 GMT

lol... i was telling my friend after my recent four year break up...man i dont want to be polyamorous i just want to be amorous. i figured out a long time ago that everything is love... and that i love it all... and every one... i just have to choose to express that via unique relationship dynamics with each and every person and thing...

being just out of a long term... my goal right now is not to be in one for a long time... im done with that for a while... it wouldnt be healthy for me to get into one for a while either... so ive been really pondering relationship dynamics...
one thing that presented itself in my thinking is that relationship dynamics present themselves to you all the time and depending on how honest you are to your self about what your authentic needs are, and how much you can honestly communicate those needs to another and how well you can sense the needs of another helps to define the types of relationship dynamic you can have with another... the one thing that gets in the way of having a dynamic fluid flow in your relationships seems to be not being honest about and communicating your authentic needs. holding on to what you want so bad you fail to see whats been put infront of you...

posted in Fluid Relationships - 21 replies

Polyamory in the News: Why so much good press lately?

Alan — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 04:28:30 GMT

What IS it about polyamory that's getting us so much good notice right now in
the mainstream media?

If you haven't been reading Polyamory in the News
(http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/) in the last three months, here's some of
what you missed:

** The style magazine of the New York Post discovers the poly scene (one of
them anyway) and pretty much makes us out as the hippest, most where-it's-at
people in New York City.

** "Are open marriages more successful than traditional couplings?" asks ABC
News.com. "That's like asking if monogamy works," replies Deborah Anapol, whom
ABC News tracked down. "Sometimes it does, and sometimes it doesn't. It depends
almost entirely on the people involved and their willingness to tell the truth
and do the work."

** A sympathetic religion reporter looks at religion and spirituality among
polys for the Religion News Service. Yes, we do have good church-going
Christians.

** The Shifting Meaning of the Word Polyamory: "When a concept goes mass-market it often gets cheapened and
degraded. Even the most wonderful trend is liable to turn sour on going
downmarket, much to its originators' dismay...."

** Songs of Polyamory, including Penelope Swales, Gaia Consort, and the new one
making the rounds, "My Boyfriend's Girlfriend Isn't Me."

** A trans-queer triad bare their lives to a diet-and-gossip magazine. The
story (at least the writer's unedited version) is a heart-warmer.

** "Dear Margo," a top newspaper advice columnist, got a bit snarky toward
polys, heard from many of us in reply, and as a result, came back with an
apologetic and wonderfully good piece educating middle America. Your great-aunt
in Oshkosh may be thinking a little better of you after reading it.

** Leaders of Loving More say their stuff for an hour on Rev. Barry Lynn's talk
show. (Listen to the mp3.)

** A parenting magazine offers a sweet account of a tightly knit triad raising
their young daughter: "And Baby Makes Four".

** All of which prompted a major essay analyzing the "strange credibility of
polyamory" across a surprising swath of mainstream culture. Exactly why are we
doing so well right now, and when does the backlash happen?

Plus: poly in South Africa and Germany; veto power as the nuclear option; poly
rules that couples use (or not); more on open marriage, including a new book in
the works and a poly couple daring to appear on Oprah Winfrey....

------------------

Here's the site: http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/. The 10 most recent items
are up front. Look in the recent monthly archives for more. The archives are
also sorted by subject and, in some cases, location. I've done 169 of these
reports in the last two years; have fun browsing.

Cheers,

Alan

P.S.: If you’re on LiveJournal, you can friend an LJ feed for the site:
http://syndicated.livejournal.com/polymedia

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

TANTRA SOUTH PACIFIC

jean — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 11:08:58 GMT

i. I'm new to Tribe. My friends and I, Swiss, American, French, Nepalese have 5,000 acres in Fiji and 500 acres freehold on an exotic island not far from Suva, Fiji plus a 50 foot motor sailer and we are discussing establishing a Tantra focused colony/commune/resort there. Any interest or suggestions?
Best wishes.

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

ask the submissive

lightbringer — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 17:22:27 GMT

The Society of Janus, a well respected pansexual kink organization here in San Francisco is reaching out to the community at large for this upcoming panel discussion, moderated by one of our own. Please take a moment to consider this event:

Janus Presents: "Ask the bottom", an evening of Q&A with a cross- selection of local personalities on the bottom/submissive/slave/boy/girl/ property side of the SM Power continuum.

Tuesday, November 13
SF Citadel
8:00pm - 10:00pm (Doors open at 7:00pm)
$5 for Janus Members, $15 for non-members (you do not
need to be a member to attend)

What motivates a person to walk the path of slavery? What does a submissive want? What joys do those on the bottoming end of the equation receive from their relationships - and what frustrations? What are the differences that distinguish bottom, slave, boy/girl, submissive, proeprty, and how on earth do we come to those definitions?

Ever wanted to ask questions like these, or others? Then this is an opportunity to pick the brains of an awesome and distinguished line-
up of local SM community teachers, players, mentors and activists.

We have a terrifically diverse panel for you: jody / patrick / boyjean / mercedes / andrea / slavebill have all agreed to answer your questions and share their thoughts and motivations on why they do what they do. bethie Hope O will facilitate the questions and keep the discussion moving smoothly.

This will be a moderated discussion panel, with the opportunity to submit written inquiries anonymously as well as ask your questions
directly. Please join us for this rare opportunity to delve into the mind of these mysterious and intelligent people. You may also send
questions about the event or questions to be discussed at the event to programs at soj dot org

Bethie Hope O identifies as a service-oriented slave and adult little girl. She is very blessed to be a ollared slave to her Daddy for the past 2 years. Bethie believes in creating open, supportive communities and is active in both the BDSM and age play communities. She is honored to be an officer in the Society of Janus and she is the creator and moderator of Submissive Safe Space; a monthly discussion group comprised of like minded submissives and slaves. On-line Bethie moderates discussion groups for age play, submission and survivors of abuse and trauma. She lives in the East Bay area with her Daddy, four dogs, 2 turtles and an obscene quantity of stuffed animals. Her favorite crayon is cornflower blue, unsharpened.

slavebill has been an active member of the Leather Community for almost 20 years and is in his 12th year of service to his Master. he is a co-founder of the San Francisco chapter of the Defenders, has served on the Steering Committee of the Leathermen's Discussion Group and has participated in many workshops including Leather Levi Weekend, the San Francisco boys of Leather, and the Society of Janus. he was a co-sponsor of the Leather Traditions' Service Weekend held last May. In addition to being a 24x7 non-live-in slave, he has a non-leather partner of 25+ years who is understanding and accepting of bill's calling to service as a slave.

Steve Ward has been a member of the Bay Area Leather / kink community for 10 years. He joined the San Francisco boys of Leather in 2002, and was mentored by many of the more prominent Bay Area Dominants and submissives. Steve serves the 15 Association, as member of the Fraternal Committee and Membership Coordinator. He is also President of the Defenders San Francisco, is a steering committee member of the Leathermen’s Discussion Group, and a representative to the San Francisco Leather Forum. Steve has been involved with Leather-Levi Week-end from 2003 through 2006, on the Spirituality Committee, and organized their annual Cocktail Party to welcome newcomers to the community. In his spare time, Steve is a committee member of the upcoming Leather Leadership Conference 12, to be held in 2008 in San Francisco, and is on a newly-formed Bay Area ad hoc committee of the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom.
Steve is 55, single…..and always looking for new opportunities.

patrick was a late bloomer to BDSM. Growing up in a Catholic household in a small, rural Southern town, he had no clue that including hot wax, needles and rope to his youthful explorations of his body meant he was masochistic; it just felt good. Fast-forward to Folsom Street Fair 2003, where his heart melted and his cock hardened watching a Daddy flog His boy. Finally, after reading the "Beauty Series" pushed him to the point of no return, he had his first scene and was introduced to his boy-self. Since entering the public scene, he has had the good fortune never to have served a Dominant unworthy of his submission, and twice has proudly worn the collars of exceptional Men. Currently, he is a slave-in-training to Master Patrick Mulcahey, whom he knows loves and treasures him. he believes in the importance of giving back to his community, and when his work schedule and Master allow, enjoys volunteering at leather events.

andrea Arkouda started her lifestyle journey in 2003 in search of a relationship in which trust was valued above all else. For her, service and obedience are the avenues to achieving a deep interpersonal connection, and completion. she served her first Master for two years, and is now in service to and wears the collar of consideration of Eric Arkouda. With him, she lives a 24/7 M/s lifestyle, and together they host the San Francisco D/s Discussion Group.

posted in Fluid Relationships - 0 replies

sugestions for closure ritual...

tigergypsy — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 17:01:30 GMT

i recently had a break up full of bittersweet heartache and would love to have a closing ritual...i have never done one before...Any sugestions on themes,movements or specifics would be appreciated....gratitude...stephen

posted in Fluid Relationships - 1 reply

Newbie Introduction - Sexually Monogamous, Socially/Affectionally Poly

Chris — Thu, 14 Jun 2007 19:10:15 GMT

Hello,

I figured that this group would be a good place to introduce myself and my perhaps unique, perhaps normal, relationship situation.

For the last two years, I've been in a loving but perhaps limited relationship. I suppose to be honest we started out as "friends with benefits", but we grew into more than that, while less than a couple. I'm still trying to figure out what it will become, but I can't deny that what I was missing all along was simple intimacy, which is one thing that I find to be precious and rare. I was willing to change some of my more casual interactions with other FWB or poly folks in my personal "intimate network" -- was willing to become monogamous, in other words. This leads to all kinds of vulnerabilities, but I think it is worth it.

I've also attended "cuddle parties" and realized that nonsexual physical affection is something that I need as well. That doesn't have to be from a partner -- but trying to draw that line is difficult. A lot of people don't understand where those lines are.

My relationship has become a long-distance one. I want to remain sexually monogamous while going out and having a good time in safe, consensual ways with people that are geographically more available.

Is this unusual? Most people consider relationships to be "package deals" but I might want to do things with someone, not necessarily my usual partner, that aren't really dates but are social or affectionate. Like hanging out with a friend, cuddling or holding hands at the movies, that sort of thing.

I'm sort of living in a nether-world between strait and bisexual, monogamous and poly, a single and a couple, I am trying to find meaning and pleasure.

Just curious if this experience resonates with anyone else's

Chris

posted in Fluid Relationships - 14 replies

Participate in Sex Education video? $1000 for 1 day's work. Legit, not porn industry

SexAndGenderResearch — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 03:20:58 GMT

Hi Folks,

First off, this is a legitimate offer, not part of the "adult entertainment industry" (porn), not a scam.
A well-established company with over 30 years in the field of sexual health and sex education is finishing up production of a sex education video--- and we still need another couple to participate on-camera. We shoot this month (October) , in Los Angeles.

You would only need to be available for one day (approx 9 a.m to 5:30pm or so...time may vary slightly). We provide lunch. Compensation for the 1-day shoot is $1,000.00.
We're hitting a deadline crunch, hence the posts reaching out to folks who might be interested.
More singles than couples have responded to my outreach---- we need a male-female couple for the video, ideally married, but this is not a requirement. If you're single and interested, perhaps you know someone who would like to work with you on this project..... .
Since we're not in "the porn industry" and not seeking actors per se, we don't have the capacity to match singles up with each other for the purpose of the video. Folks who express serious interest and seem like good candidates for this project will be screened as a couple, their contact info will be forwarded to the producers as a couple, etc.
The video producers prefer a couple over 30 years old , again not set in stone.
If interested, please message me, and I can send more info. Thanks for reading.

posted in Fluid Relationships - 3 replies

Could you please participate in my survey on masculinity?

Michael — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 18:18:32 GMT

I am a doctoral student seeking participants to complete a survey that explores the psychological experiences of being a man and how it influences your life. You must be a male who is 18 years of age or older

The survey will take approximately 30 minutes to complete and your participation is anonymous.

If you are interested in contributing to knowledge about how being a man impacts how you view yourself and others, please go to the following website: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=218103339703

Thank you for your help.
Michael Franco
831.480.5180
masculinitystudy@yahoo.com

posted in Fluid Relationships - 1 reply

love needs no labels

Debbie — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 20:23:20 GMT

I used to think I was monogamous. Then I met my lover. My marriage went from closed to open. I have been married for almost fourteen years. And my lover and I have been involved on and off since September 2001. Since he's long distance, I don't worry so much about how often we'll see each other. I used to vacillate between wondering if I was really a monogamous woman who happened to love two men or if I was really polyamorous. I've come to the conclusion that the label doesn't matter nearly as much as the intention. And that means that I don't worry quite so much about when or if a third man will come into my life. I am approaching fifty. And since I married late (35) and had kids at 38 and 43, my life is plenty full. Come fall both of our daughters will be in school full time, and I am looking forward to taking time for myself.

posted in Fluid Relationships - 15 replies